


to mend a broken world

by caisha



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Diverts During Aftermath, F/M, Force Visions, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2019-12-26 12:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 72,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18282068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caisha/pseuds/caisha
Summary: Raised by Anchorites in the deep deserts of Jakku, Rey has channeled her grief and powers into a life of vigilante justice across the Galaxy.Kylo has spent the last decade running from Acolytes who worship the Dark Side of the Force above all else - and he must not be caught.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on this story for around two years. It is a love letter to the great canon-AUs of pre-TLJ.
> 
> It is complete. A huge thank you to Nat/Ashesforfoxes who has held my hand and beta'd and dealt with my neurotic tendencies as I worked to finish the story before Celebration.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the ride with me =)

The little girl sat in the corner of a home built into a desert rock, her hands gliding over rough stone walls as she watched her parents discuss something in low tones. They moved with purpose, gathering specific items in a tense silence that seeped into her bones. Items thrown into large bags - blasters, tech, food, and a metal cylinder she had never seen before made her reach out towards it before she thought better of it.

The mood was far different than their usual calm. Though they didn't seem in a hurry, she knew it was all for show. Even at that age, the girl knew better - she felt their harried spirits and minds. Her parents never spoke of it when she'd bring up their moods, how she felt them naturally and when she would ask they would simply look at each other knowingly, as if contemplating things she couldn't understand. She'd cry sometimes when they were outside working, not understanding why she felt so  _ different. _

The woman knelt down in front of her. Her mother, with short-shorn caramel hair and a fair face that was too sensitive for this harsh planet. "Rey my little darling, we have to go soon. Can you hold on to your bag for us sweetheart?"

The girl kept quiet and simply nodded, her lips in a tight line as she gripped the small knapsack that held a few items of clothing and some rations, her eyes wide - she felt their concerns, but the reasons were hidden from her. She kept silent however as she watched her father walk up to his wife, and speak in a hushed voice.

"We have to go  _ now.  _ They're coming, we were lucky to get this much warning. He's waiting for us in Niima, you know the plan." His voice was wrapped in determination, but all Rey felt from him was anguish and she saw how his hands massaged her mother's shoulders as she hung her head in defeat. Rey knew suddenly, somehow, that they would leave her there.

"I don't want to go," she whispered fervently, so soft that they almost missed it. They dropped to her level and her mother took small hands in her own.

A shared look between her parents made her begin to cry, "Sweetheart, we're just going to Niima - you've been there before remember? It's a trading post with lots of neat ships and different people. We're meeting a friend."

"But  _ you're  _ not staying there, are you?" Her voice blubbered with emotion and an accusing tone that was beyond her five years. Her parents were silent and the man stood up to gather their things, seemingly ignoring his daughter's despair.

"We have to go.  _ Now."   _ His voice was firm and her mother stood up and nodded, gathering their bags and walking outside to their speeder that had been prepped earlier in the morning.

The little girl sat there still, emotion brimming to the surface as tears creeped down her face - hers or theirs, it made no difference, and her father knelt by her side. Taking her hands in his, he forced her to look at him.

"Rey, you must be strong now. We'll come back for you, sweetheart. We will. You are important to us, but you are more than our daughter - you are  _ Jensaarai _ . We will all have our own paths in this life, but until we come back for you, you must remember this place. _ "  _ The words provided hollow comfort, all she wanted was to stay with them; there was no need for them to separate, she didn't understand it

Without another word he picked her up and walked out without a single glance back to their home where he had lived for 15 years. The new word he had used stuck in the girl's mind -  _ Jensaarai  _ \- it kept rolling in her head _.  _ It meant nothing to her, but right now all she wanted was to cling to her father's neck and hide her face from the harsh sun of Jakku - and the reality that they were leaving it and her behind.

* * *

At the same time, in a very different place with cold metal buildings that reached into a sky that was dominated by speeders, a teenager sat on a cream colored chair, his head hanging low and his fingers gripping his knees. He was in trouble again, he felt their anger - their fear as they talked in hushed tones. He didn't know why they bothered, they couldn't cloak their words well enough to hide them from him. He was far too powerful.

_ They fear you for it. _

Ben sat straight up quickly at the voice making its presence known again, alarming one of his mother's aides who had been assigned to watch him. She watched him curiously as his body went rigid, eyes unfocused; as he always did, he didn't respond to the slithering voice in his head. It was right - as it usually was - they  _ did  _ fear him. His mother, father, even his Jedi uncle.

But for all his power, he still could not stop the voice in his head entirely - he tried, though. He tried so many things, things that his uncle didn't like - things that got him in trouble, that went against the Jedi teachings. Things that he had to find on his own, through avenues apparently forbidden.

He rubbed his eyes at that, sighing loudly, and then he saw his mother walk in with ferocity in her eyes. He had been found again in the archive storage facility, touching a holocron that had called to him before Luke's shout made him stop.

"Ben Solo," she spoke clearly, and he looked at her directly, trying to ignore the presence of his looming uncle. "Your uncle has told me that you destroyed several artifacts and documents for no reason, is this true?"

He looked at Luke, wondering why he had hidden the truth from his mother, and smirked - while he was there, he  _ had  _ destroyed a few histories of the Jedi that were supposedly sacred, but that had not been all.

Taking a deep breath, he gave his mother an answer, "The Jedi were liars, I simply destroyed them."

Luke's face paled at Ben's carefully chosen words, but he spoke curiously, "Them?" His body shifted, arms uncrossing as he took a seat in a nearby chair.

"The lies, those histories and so-called prophecies were all false and written to hide the truth of the  _ Force  _ and of the Jedi - why would you keep them?" Ben's voice was low but angry. He had explained all this to Luke before - he could feel each piece's falseness when he touched them, like a sickness that crept into his body making his limbs heavy. If Luke was going to dedicate himself to the preservation of Force users' history, he could at least be accurate, but when Ben told him about it he said he was wrong.

Ben Solo was  _ not  _ wrong. Not about this. And Luke wasn't going to listen to him, so he destroyed them and their perfect façade of the Jedi himself.

Luke stared at him in a silence that stretched minutes; Ben felt the Force pressing against his mind and he pushed it away angrily. After a while, his mother sighed and waved off Luke and her aide; they left without a word. Ben felt a sense of pride that his mother commanded such obedience, but stubbornly said nothing. She sat across from him in an identical chair, her blue dress shimmering slightly, catching the light.

"I think it's time you took your studies more seriously, you have so much power, Ben - it could get you in trouble one day. You've seen what happens when you lose control…I worry about you."

"You mean you're  _ afraid  _ of me. You can say it mother, I hear the lies in your voice," Ben knew that it unnerved people when he did things like that - and it hit the mark when his mother's face crumpled.

"I'm not afraid of you, Ben, I'm afraid that your power will control you instead of the other way around. I think you should go with Luke to train."

_ She's lying to you, she thinks you're a liability to her career. And where is your father even, the great Han Solo isn't even here to say goodbye to his only son? Too busy teaching others how to fly, is he? _

Ben felt tears welling in his eyes as the voice spoke its truths again, but held them in. "I suppose that would make things easier for us all, you wouldn't have to deal with a problematic force sensitive -  _ and dangerous -  _ son, dad won't have to feel obligated to spend time with me, and I'm stuck with the clueless  _ monk." _

"Ben Solo, none of those things are true - I  _ love  _ you, I just want what's best for you. I've tried so hard, but I have no training the way Luke does, and I fear you may be in danger if you don't fix it now."

At that, he stood and walked to his room, the door to his 'fresher ripped off the wall with a wave of his hand, crashing into the other side of the room in silent answer to the idea that he had to be  _ fixed. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! I'm so nervously excited to finally be posting it.
> 
> Twitter is @reylosource  
> Tumblr is @reylosource


	2. Chapter 2

"Ow!" Rey squealed as she pulled her fingertips away from the offending object, straining to keep it quiet so she wouldn't attract attention. The ship's metal part had been laying in the sun, baking for hours until she had time to clean it. A chuckle filtered across the way in response.

"Foolish girl, you should know better by now," an older woman croaked at her, hands methodically scraping off the sand on another ship part. That was what they did - the young and the too old, the incapable - here in Niima; it was an endless stream of old parts and scrubbing, sand blasting, tearing up fingers and arms in a futile attempt to make the parts look…better. Rey's fingers had blisters and calluses on her hands no girl her age should have.

The parts never looked any better, but sometimes Rey would notice a few things wrong and she'd attempt to fix them as she waited for her next batch. Unkar liked that about her, which was fortunate because even though he had some arrangement with her parents so she would be looked after, this was still no place for a young girl. And certainly Unkar Plutt had no love for children.

And so his tolerance - and protection - of her came mostly from her usefulness; and the money that was sent every now and then, dropped off from some trader that happened to be flying here already. But Rey knew that the money would soon stop, if it hadn't already. Her parents were gone, she had felt them die months before, though she didn't know how. One moment, it was as if they were wrapped around her, keeping her warm, and then nothing - ripped away like a cold sheet during the night. Rey had cried for weeks, the old woman she stayed with even gave her an extra blanket for comfort - or maybe to get her to be quiet.

She knew after that she needed to find some way to be useful before Unkar sold her to the next trader to save himself the trouble, not that she wanted to stay here particularly - but she had heard enough stories about skintraders to want to stay away. So Rey had been finding ways to improve each piece of junk she found - even found parts for a simulator, though she hadn't made it yet, keeping it hidden from Unkar. She felt how each part fit into another, as if they were speaking to her.

The metal finally cooled enough in the shade that her gloves could protect her and she scrubbed it with the sand brush vigorously, making up for lost time.

"Come, girl," a modulated voice cut through the scrubbing - one of Unkar's goons. Rey bit her lip, wondering if this was when he finally realized that the money would stop coming and she was being sold. She thought sadly of her unfinished simulator.

Maybe she could start scavenging - she was too young for it, but sure that Unkar would make an exception if it meant more money. She was small, could get to places others couldn't.

His goon grabbed her arm and pulled her towards Unkar's station; Rey ripped her arm away, "Don't touch me!" Her voice carried and made a few traders stop to watch.

"Feisty young thing, aren't you?" He grunted and turned around, walking to Unkar Plutt's hut. "You'll learn soon enough, once the Anchorites get to you."

Rey stomped after him, her short legs trying to match pace, her curiosity making her open her mouth, "Who are the Anchorites?"

He didn't answer, instead he disappeared into the hut and Rey paused, unsure what to do; she had never heard of these people, but Unkar's goon made them sound worse than what she was dealing with now.

"Girl!" Unkar's haggard and sloppy voice called her into the hut, and Rey scurried in despite her fear.

Looking around, immediately she locked eyes on two beings in dark clothes. Unlike anything she had ever seen, the clothes seemed to move their legs instead of the other way around, glinting in the faint sun still coming through the holes in the hut.

"This is her?" One spoke with a low voice, and Rey stood up straighter and glared - she knew when she was being evaluated, even so young.

Unkar shoved her closer to them and one of them raised a hand to pull her chin up, looking into her eyes, "Her name's Rey, parents dropped her off a few years ago. Just like you wanted, an orphan now."

Rey whimpered internally at the confirmation that Unkar knew what had happened already. She desperately wanted to know what happened to her parents, why they left her alone only to die a few years later - never to return. But the more pressing concern were these two so-called Anchorites and why they were interested in her.

"What do you want with me?" She asked firmly, ripping her chin away from their fingers, but they didn't answer. The silence extended so long that she finally asked Unkar, "Who are these people, what's going on?"

Unkar snorted, "These two here, they live deep in the desert with their tribe. They raise orphans and teach them."

"Desert dwellers? What do they want with me?" Rey had heard vague mentions of them, living near some rock formations that were supposedly sacred. She had never seen them - never even heard them called Anchorites - but she had heard stories of their people coming through every now and then, collecting things from traders - they tended to spook Unkar's people, keeping them away from the populace. Rey realized why.

"It is rude to speak of us as if we are not here, child. We are Anchorites, we learn and wait for the one to come. We wait for our time of suffering," Rey had never heard of them raising any kids, which made her suspicious. A loud yell from outside the tent pulled Unkar away, making gobbling noises at the unfortunate offender.

She considered the two oddly-clothed beings, "What do you want with me?"

"Your path has crossed ours. It is a pact we made centuries ago, to the consecrated."

That wasn't very comforting, but Rey knew her other option was scavenging and slaving for Unkar the rest of her life. In the end, it made her decision easy - and she knew she could get away if she had to.

"Can I bring a few things with me?" They simply nodded, their clothing shifting continuously in a way that left Rey unsettled. Without another word, Rey rushed outside, her body pulling her towards her possessions. She realized that they were following her, but Rey sensed she had nothing to fear from them at the moment.

Once she was halfway to her hut, she heard Unkar yelling at them, "Hey! We haven't talked payment yet, you can’t take what's mine without it."

Rey winced at the thought - she was still being sold, but as far as she knew these Anchorites were not skintraders, so that was some victory. One of the anchorites slunk away to speak with Unkar, the other continued following her.

"We will not bring you here again, if you wish to say goodbye to anyone do so now."

She bit her lip and shook her head, "There's no one left anymore."

* * *

Large, calloused hands shoved a bundle of clothing at once into a large bag, pushing it down to make more room. Ben knew it was time to leave, that he had finally reached the breaking point where he could no longer listen to the constant lies. They had tried so hard, for so many years, but whatever had molded Luke Skywalker into the venerable hero he was today - Ben was not made of the same stuff, could not accept whatever truths his uncle had.

He was no Jedi - that was made very clear on a daily basis, voices rattling in his body arguing with each other, ever at odds except on one thing - Ben was not living up to his potential. He was dangerous, his power frequently out of control, and he lacked the discipline to improve it. He huffed at the idea of having a destiny - his  _ potential. _

Whatever that was.

"Ben," his uncle's voice hit him and he shuddered in anger, hands shaking so much he clenched his fists to stop them. He had been hoping to avoid this, a confrontation that was not necessary - to him, anyway. But somehow his Uncle knew - of course he did - and had returned early. The Force was far too meddlesome, Ben knew this all too well. He was living proof.

"I can't stay here, you don't know what to do with me anymore," the words sounded sad, but like everything in his life now they were wrapped in anger and pain. His parents had left him here to be fixed and hadn't even received that for their troubles.

_ They fear your power, they are not worthy of you. _

A window across the room shattered and Ben stood there unmoving in the silence afterwards, only the soft crunching of it under his feet. He looked over at his uncle, wondering if he would be chastised as usual, but he stood still with his arms clasped in front of him. Luke's passiveness chafed at the young man, as if he had seen it all before - and he had, sadly. It was why there was only one of him here, studying under the last Jedi.

"You've completed your training, padawan, but -"

"I'm  _ NOT  _ a padawan," Ben screamed, his voice escaping the room through the broken window. They had argued about this constantly and he began pacing the room, his muscles tense and fists opening and closing. "I can't believe you still use their teachings, the Jedi were flawed and their histories are filled with lies."

Ben's outburst left him breathing hard, fists clenched at his sides. They had this argument regularly and all Luke did was accept it, no doubt remembering what it was like to be nineteen years old. But Ben knew better, he knew he was right down to his bones - the time of the Jedi was long past, even the Sith were gone.

Luke nodded, "Perhaps you have to find your own truth, Ben Solo, but there's no reason to close yourself off to what else I may teach you." He walked slowly to his nephew's bed, sitting down; Ben had been a troubled student, to be sure, but he was willing to work with him. "We could forge a new Jedi Order if you would just open yourself to that possibility-"

"The Republic," Ben scoffed at the word even as it left his mouth; his opinion on galactic politics well known. "Would never allow it to become what it once was. It is as corrupt as its predecessor."

_ You don't need their permission, take what is rightfully yours. _

The voice chilled him again, always talking about his destiny and rightful place - he didn't understand it, but it had never lied to him at least. He noticed Luke watching him curiously, but his face went blank; Luke would never have allowed him to train had he known about the voice and Ben had spent years keeping it from him.

"I can't stay here anymore, not in this prison," the last word was accompanied by a zip of his bag and Ben stood up, calling his lightsaber to him and snapping it to his belt. Luke looked on disapprovingly as he disagreed with using the Force for such mundane actions.

"This has never been your prison, Ben, but if you must go - see your mother first. She hasn't seen you in so long, she misses you."

And yet she never once made time to visit, neither did his father, it was nothing but holos and transmissions from where ever they both were. For 3 years. Nonetheless, he nodded - after all, he needed access to the archives from the old republic and empire anyway. Luke's scrolls and holocrons only painted part of the picture, and Ben had waited for years to get back in there after he had been kept from it.

He needed to know where the Jedi came from, how they became so corrupted, and what else was there for him. The Jedi and Luke didn't have all the answers he needed, he knew something powerful rolled inside of him, that he was meant for greater things than being a member of a long-dead order of monks.

He gathered his bag in hand and walked out of the room without another word, but he felt his uncle reach out to him in the force with a tug of reassurance that he answered hesitantly. Luke understood, even though he had found his own answers. Not everyone had such a catalyst as he had in his early years.

Ben walked along the metal platform to his ship, grudgingly grateful again that his father had at least taught him the basics of flying, even if he had stopped when they realized how powerful he was. How  _ dangerous _ , he thought grimly.

The voice was strangely silent as he flipped on the engine thrusters and lifted off, typing in the coordinates for Hosnian Prime. He hadn't bothered to announce his trip, imagining Luke would do it for him.

He hoped she was ready to see who her son had become in her absence.

* * *

Lightyears away, Rey sat on top of a Luggabeast behind one of the two Anchorites, wondering where her life was headed. A life of servitude, perhaps? Scholarship? They spoke of her path in a way that made her shudder, remembering when her parents took her away - the words her father had told her. They had also said another strange phrase - the consecrated?

She scrunched up her nose as she thought about it. She had never heard of the term, the word they said with such reverence; she stared at the Anchorite on the Luggabeast next to her. Their clothing was still shifting, catching light in a way that made it think it was tech, but she just couldn't be sure.

"It is  _ jute _ , the clothing," he answered even though she hadn't asked her question. "It molds to our bodies and allows us greater flexibility. We make it ourselves, using the ancient knowledge."

"I've never heard of it," Rey replied curiously. It wasn't unexpected that she wouldn't know about these things, her world was very small on Jakku, but her inquisitiveness seemed to please the Anchorites.

"You wouldn't have, we do not share the secret with anyone."

Rey scrunched up her little nose, "That doesn't seem right, why wouldn't you share it?"

The Anchorite went quiet for several minutes, the sound of the Luggabeast plodding through the desert was all she heard until finally, "All knowledge is worth having, Rey of Jakku, but some of it is dangerous all the same."

At that, he went silent and Rey was left to her thoughts once again. For people who seem to value knowledge, they were certainly hiding a great many things from her. Rey focused on the anchorite in front of her, scrunching her face as she tried to unravel the riddle.  _ How does she not know herself?  _ The question sounded in her mind clearly and Rey spoke.

"It's hard to know yourself when your parents abandon you at five years old. They didn't leave me with much," Rey was harsh - more intense than any eight year old should have to be. She hadn't even realized they had never spoke out loud.

Neither Anchorite answered, but the one she had spoken to - the older one, as far as she could tell - simply nodded to himself. Rey frowned at their continuing silence and wrapped her face with her keffiyeh to protect it from the harsh sun and sand. She fiddled with her arm bindings, wondering if they would cover her in  _ jute  _ as well eventually. It was a disarming thought, and she did not like it.

* * *

A jostle woke her up, thinking she had only dazed briefly and they were waking her - only to realize night had fallen and the luggabeasts were still.

"Are we stopping? What's going on?" Her body tensed as she took in the new surroundings - outcropping of rocks that hinted at shade in the daytime. Again she was met with silence so she slid down to the ground of her own accord and turned the corner, crouching slightly as if that would hide her from what she might see. No one was around her, only the luggabeasts, raising her suspicions - where had the Anchorites gone?

But once she peeked around the corner all she saw were huts of hide and sticks, built in the surrounding rock formation, tanned from the sun and exposure. It was too dark to see everything, but there was a central fire burning bright, smoking wafting up into the sky. Rey wondered if they ever had issues with predators - beast or otherwise.

"You will stay with Yazuka, come," one of them spoke, appearing from behind one of the huts - and she finally had a name for at least one of her new owners. Looking around the small village, she was surprised to see such a variety of lifeforms - having assumed that the Anchorites were all humanoid races - but she saw Twi'leks, Mirialans, even a Chagrian amongst their numbers, shuffling about in the same clothing the others had.

She followed the Anchorite to a hut at the edge, making her wonder why they weren't concerned she would run off. If their positions had been reversed, Rey certainly would have placed her closer to the center of the enclave, surrounded by as many guards as she could muster.

Once they reached the front of the hut the anchorite simply stood there without prompting or pushing her until finally Rey relented and walked inside. It wasn't much, but there was an empty bed with a blanket sitting on top of it that she knew was hers instinctively. She picked it up and smelled it; it was fresh, somehow - a hint of spice that was not native to Jakku. Rey didn't hesitate to curl up on the makeshift bed, knowing that whatever came she would need strength. Three years under Unkar Plutt would do that, no matter how young.

Rey slept undisturbed for the first time in recent memory.

* * *

Shuffling noises in the hut woke her, the stifling heat already present even though it was early morning. Rey lay still, pretending to be asleep as she tried to covertly watch the Anchorite named Yazuka.

A quiet hiss came from the back edge of the hut and although she couldn't tell what he was doing, it smelled like food. Rey's stomach cramped, having not eaten at all yesterday - they took her away before she could earn her day's portions.

"You should eat," the unexpected voice shocked her and her eyes opened unwillingly, seeing finally that her ruse had not fooled anyone. Sighing, Rey sat up and took the proffered plate of food. It was unlike anything she had ever eaten - a mixture of gruel and protein, of course, but nothing like the portions Unkar made them live off of.

She ate it greedily, without question; she knew even at such a young age to never turn down food - especially now, when she didn't know what to expect or how to earn her meals.

The anchorite just watched her until he could tell she was satisfied, and then began talking.

"We are the anchorites, we study and gather knowledge, as outlined by the Consecrated. You will stay here with us, until your time of suffering. You will learn."

Rey scrunched her face in confusion, "I've never heard of you or this Consecrated, why did you take me?"

He sat down across from her, legs crossing as he spoke, "You are of the force." He spoke simply, as if that explained everything.

"The…force?" Rey was hesitant, she knew about the stories, but thought it was just more fairy tales that the travelers told her to entertain. Stories of great battles, of heroic Jedi like Luke Skywalker, who stood on this very planet years before, bringing down star destroyers with his mind. No, the force couldn't possibly be real.

Yazuka frowned and she felt his disapproval, making her back straighten immediately. "You will not disrespect the knowledge we have gained in our time, our kind have gone through much pain for it. The force suffuses you and so we took you, to keep you safe until your time comes."

The blanket twisted in her small fist as she clenched it, "I can take care of myself, I was perfectly safe before. How do you even know I have this force thing?"

Saying nothing, he stood and walked out of his hut; Rey was confused, but followed nonetheless. She didn't understand what they wanted from her, and she needed to know. Yazuka walked to the edge of the rock casing, and Rey stopped beside him, looking out at the desert expanse of Jakku.

He nodded towards a formation that was not far from where they stood, a steep, flat rock - unusual for such an area.

"That is the plateau, we call it the Plaintive Hand. It is where the Consecrated one lived, many years ago - before Jakku was desert."

"I thought Jakku was always like this?" Rey asked curiously.

Yazuka sighed and looked down at her, noting the triple bun hairstyle for some reason, "Not so, thousands of years ago, when the Eremite settled here it was lush with water and greenery. It was a blessed place. But he knew it would waste away. Such is the way of the force."

They stood there in silence, Rey struggling to understand why he was telling her so much - didn't they have stuff for her to do? That's why they raised orphans, she was sure - slave labor is common enough.

"The plateau keeps us safe as it will you, Rey of Jakku. The Eremite has decreed it," the anchorite turned around back towards the village. Rey did the same, and realized that all the anchorites were standing on the edge of the hut line, watching them. "We have waited a long time for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Let me know if you enjoyed it? =)
> 
> Twitter @reylosource  
> Tumblr @reylosource


	3. Chapter 3

Her earliest memory was of the sun, how it would blind you as it reflected off the endless sands of this forsaken planet. She sometimes felt as if nothing else existed in her short life but the heat and light it gave, as if plaguing and punishing them for living on such a planet.

Knowing this, it wasn't uncommon for her to dream of Jakku, but this time was different. It was a different kind of heat, the kind of heat that came from being in a closed metal space, the kind of heat that came from the body. The kind of heat she had rejected since she was little, since her parents had left her. No one ever touched her. Except here, in dreams…

Large hands framed her face; she knew nothing about where she was, all Rey knew was that she was surrounded by metal walls that should have left her cold, but instead her body was warm. Her pulse raced as she felt a hand brush against her cheek; she wanted to lean into it, but didn't - she couldn't see anything around her - touch was the only sense she had. That and the force.

The unknown made her nervous.

But she knew the person in front of her, not his face - for it was certainly a man - but his presence. They had been here before, met each other in dreams. At times it had been her only solace.

_ "What do you want from me?" _ She whispered to the unseen man, just as she had so many times before.

At the question, the hands on her face stilled their caresses and dropped away; she cried out from their loss, her hands grasping forward to find them again. She didn't, but the heat came back to suffuse her and her heart swelled with an unnamed emotion.

A heavy thud tore her out of the dream and Rey blinked at the scene surrounding her bunk. Everything not fixed to the ship had been raised and then fell abruptly, metal casings, clothes - all askew. She sighed, "Not again."

Reluctantly, she sat up and rubbed her face with her hands, shaking off the dreams that had plagued her since she was a little girl. They had never been what she would consider useful, just left her with emptiness and frustration - she didn't know why she had them, or who the man was, but he was always there no matter what.

_ Be ready. _

The voice sounded in her mind and she growled out loud. It was always telling her things she already knew - she was always  _ ready _ , of course she was - the nature of her job demanded it. The criminals she was tracking should be here soon and although they knew nothing of her presence, that didn't mean others weren't out to find her. She was clever and hid well, but she knew this kind of job was her type - and predictability could get her killed. Nonetheless, she refused to be swayed. Justice needed its pound of flesh, and she would bring it to her.

She stood up and pulled on her boots, making her way to her ship's scanner; she relayed a code to her contact, letting them know she was alive and still on the hunt. The  _ inmari  _ would be upset if she caused a scene in their sector, and Rey had no desire to add more trouble to her day, so she had made her presence known to them - if covertly. It was another reason she knew she had to be more careful on this job.

Outside was overcast, as it usually was on this planet she had found, but the open air was a welcome relief to the recycled and stale oxygen on her ship. Rey pulled her hair up in a tight bun, preparing for her morning forms. It was the only way she had found to focus after a night of the dreams.

The forms she had learned when she was a little girl, not long after the anchorites found her. Angry one morning, she had escaped to the plateau they saw as a holy site, knowing they would not come for her - they dared not enter sacred ground. But to her it was just another rock, and there the voice spoke to her for the first time. It guided her and taught her the seven forms - she had many teachers as she grew up with the Anchorites, but none so valuable to her as the voice. Every morning, she sought the solitude, and it was in them that she found peace.

Shii-Cho. Makashi. Soresu. Ataru. Shien. Niiman. Vaapad.

From form to form her body flowed like water; she knew now that the forms were meant for combat, but she still used only her hands as representation instead of her old quarterstaff. A blaster was strapped to her back, should any trouble arise on the ship's landing pad.

By the end of her routine she was breathing hard, but her blood flowed through her with thunder. She was ready for the day's work. Entering the ship, she grabbed her cloak and spun it behind her, snapping it to her right shoulder and pulling up the hood as she walked out.

As she left the ship, her hand flicked towards the ramp as it pulled up, the shield and alarms powered on in response. In case anyone was foolish enough to approach her ship, they wouldn't live to tell about it. There were few things she was confident in, but that was one.

She hopped off the rented landing pad and went down the stairs swiftly until they ran into an alleyway of people and she took off in the direction of the deal, blending into the throng of people going about their daily lives.

As she moved fluidly through the crowd, her cloak and hood hiding her face, a man too tall to be inconspicuous followed.

* * *

Kylo followed confidently, taking measured steps behind the woman, looking over the throng of people.  He could never blend in. A tall, broad body and a mess of features that endeared him to no one - and he had given up trying. By now, Kylo Ren was easily recognizable and equally feared. He hated the former, but relished in the latter. Nonetheless, he stuck to dustwallows and outer rim planets far away from the holonet and New Republic's influence.

It was foolish to be in such a densely populated area on a large planet, but he was here nonetheless. To find  _ her,  _ the mysterious woman who his contacts only spoke of after large amounts of credits were transferred into their accounts. This woman who roamed the street they were on in some kind of unknown armor dyed a purple so deep it may have been black - he scoffed at the impractical nature of it. He doubted that armor could even protect her against a knife much less a blaster.

Still, he didn't need to see her face to know it was her as she ran down the steps from the docking station, she might as well have been painted bright green with how the Force surrounded her. No one had warned him that she was Force sensitive, but he knew instinctively this was the girl he was looking for.

It shouldn't have surprised him people had missed it - it had been several generations now since the Jedi had been in power, and even then the Force was only spoken of in whispers and folktales.

She was moving swiftly, carefully - as if she knew exactly where she was going and needed to get there soon - but not so badly that she could attract attention. Kylo could sense it though, as he attempted to keep a safe distance until he could approach her without prying eyes. He could sense her need, her purpose, and his heart thudded with anticipation as he followed her. He needed her immediately, but curiosity got the better of him and so he followed, waiting to see how it played out.

She turned down a narrow, less populated street and Kylo hesitated before turning the corner, knowing he would be far more likely to be seen. Taking a breath, he turned the corner, barely making it two steps before she spun out from behind a trash receptacle.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Her cowl was still in place, features obscured by shadow. Her voice threw him off - the loveliest Kylo had heard in a long time. He raised his hands, circling around her to the other side so she could disappear into the crowd if she wished.

"I need-" but before he could finish that sentence, he dropped down as three blaster bolts hit the side of the building next to his head. The Scavenger cursed and ducked behind the dumpster as her eyes scanned the threat. Kylo acted on instinct as he ripped the lightsaber off his belt as he spun around, activating the deep purple blade in one fluid motion. His hand flung towards where the bolts had come from, pushing the attackers back, buying time.

He knew this was no coincidence, no common thief rat robbery, and grit his teeth as he approached the three attackers with large steps. They wore all black, cloth covering their face so only their eyes tracked his movements. The group broke into a circle, each spinning a metal stick now that they had announced their presence. 

Normally he would be unconcerned by the weapons, but experience made him approach with more caution. 

"Oi!" He heard the Scavenger cry out and glanced over to see four of the same group attacking her. She already spun one of their weapons in her hand, using the staff with a fluid violence Kylo admired. 

A thwack echoed in his ear before he pain bloom in his shoulder. Kylo scowled - he had been distracted and taken a hit. Prepared for the next jab, he grabbed the metal staff as he swung his lightsaber in the other hand, slicing through the man’s arm.

_ One down, two to go _ , he thought as he twirled the lightsaber in his hand, stalking toward the next victim.

Grunts from the fight filled the narrow street, but no one dared to intervene - violence was common in this place, and people kept their heads down more often than not. 

"You have a great destiny,  _ Skywalker,"  _ one of them taunted as their staff made contact with his saber, parrying his blow. He had heard it all before from them. 

Kylo disarmed her with a flick of his wrist before landing a blow to her chest with his booted foot, sending her stumbling into the side of a building. He turned to the last of the original three as thoughts of the Scavenger fell from his mind.

He let the weapon hang loosely at his side as he considered the last one, circling each other as they caught their breath.

“You waste your power," the man spat at him as they traded blows. Kylo’s chest thumped in exhilaration as they danced around each other. “Your sense of nobility and purpose is meaningless compared to what you could have with us.”

“And you waste your time with me, Acolyte,” he taunted, and as they collided once more, two blaster shots rang out and the stranger fell to the ground. Dead.

Shocked, Kylo scanned the alley for more, wondering how he could have missed a secondary weapon. He crouched low, lightsaber activated and at his side, controlling his breathing as he strained for any sound that would give them away.

A moment later, a phantom push knocked him down. Before he could bring his lightsaber up to protect his body, a foot pressed his wrist to the street.

Disoriented, he looked up in a daze as a bright yellow light blinded him. It was the heat from a lightsaber suffusing his face as he looked up in surprise.

"Who are you?" Her voice challenged. All he could see was the long line of yellow light and oh, how he wished he could see her. 

Foolishly she leaned closer, shifting the blade off his face to hover above his heart. Finally, he saw her face - feral as she snarled questions at him that he could barely hear.

Her booted feet pressed harder against his wrist, forcing his fingers to open, letting the lightsaber slip out onto the street, deactivating as it hit. He found himself unable to care too much, mesmerized by the wisps of hair that had escaped her long, intricate braid and the mouth that curled into a sneer as she watched him.

And of course she would angry - he had endangered her with his mere presence.

"I deal with criminals all the time, that's not  _ new,"  _ she answered his unspoken thought, and he blinked in surprise. Finally gathering himself, he sighed and waved a hand, freezing her in place effortlessly; he stood and picked up his lightsaber, testing that it was still in working condition. Once satisfied, he unfroze her.

She charged at him immediately, "How  _ dare  _ you, you arrogant -"

Kylo could only laugh at the absurdity - they had just fought together (however unwillingly), they both had lightsabers (which were non-existent now in the universe), and both were clearly powerful in the Force. And she was running at him as if she wasn't curious at  _ all  _ about any of it.

Well, if she wasn't, he certainly  _ was.  _ A scavenger bounty hunter with a Jedi weapon was someone he was not going to let get away from him without at least a conversation.  _ And  _ she was the guide who could take him to Jakku - he knew the Force's will when he saw it.

"Settle down there, Scavenger." She hissed at him, at her name, but he paid it no mind - they are who they are in this world.

"What do you know of it? I'm not the one endangering lives."

Kylo looked at her incredulously, "Are you honestly blaming me for this?" 

He waved his hands at the dead bodies around them. Surely she could see that it wasn't  _ his  _ fault they attacked.

"They were after you. I felt it - and you don’t seem surprised to see them. You look like you fight a lot." Kylo watched her as her body still curled in a fighter's stance, the twin yellow blades still sizzling in front of her. He noticed she was standing in the resting position of Ataru and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm not the one brandishing a saberstaff in a particularly aggressive form of combat, Scavenger." After a few moments of watching him, taking him in, the blades deactivated - both of them.  

"You know, it was quite unusual to see a staff in the hands of a Jedi, even in the days of the Republic." 

Kylo wasn't sure why he was attempting to carry on a conversation with her, but he felt compelled.

"I'm not a Jedi," Rey calmly spoke for the first time, in a cautious tone as she slipped her saber into the hidden holster on her back that rested under the cloak. Kylo internally smiled at this; she was quite clever - no one would ever have known she had that kind of weapon hidden on her person.

He said nothing in response, only walked over to an attacker whom he could sense was still alive, and ran his lightsaber through his chest. Behind him, Rey gasped in shock.

"Are you insane? Why would you do that? He could have told us who they were-"

He ignored her as he brushed past, dragging the bodies to one location - hidden behind the trash receptacle and out of sight of the crowded street. Despite the general apathy towards murder in this area, he still would rather not have them found for a good while - at least long enough for them to leave the planet.

A hand gripped his shoulder and forced him to twist around. Kylo grabbed it instinctively and ripped it off, pulling it behind her as she cried out unexpectedly. Before he could say anything, his eyes glazed over and sense overwhelmed him. Cursing, he let go of her hand and stepped away; he _ knew _ this woman.

The familiar feel of her skin struck him hard after years of dreams. Skin to skin contact made him shiver as the hand that had gripped hers flexed and he looked at it in surprise. He rarely ever went anywhere without his gloves, couldn't believe he had been so foolish. Couldn’t find it in himself to care as he looked into her hazel eyes, noting for the first time the spattering of freckles across her nose.

"Rey…" he was bewildered by the rawness of  _ feeling _ . She stripped her hand from his at the sound, eyeing him suspiciously. Kylo watched her face for an inappropriate amount of time, scrutinizing it - he had never met her, but her touch was familiar nonetheless. Steeling himself, he pushed it all aside, drawing breath to command her as he had so many others. "You're to take me to Jakku, I'm in need of a guide."

"Seriously? All this," she waved to the dead bodies and his lightsaber, "And you think you can just demand I take you to some junkyard planet without giving me any answers?"

At that she turned on the heel of her boots, continuing down the alleyway she had been on earlier.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kylo asked incredulously.

"I have a job to finish, I suggest you not stick around for it," at that she took off at a dead sprint - unnaturally fast. Kylo grit his teeth and followed her, clipping his lightsaber once more to his belt as he drew on the Force to increase his speed to match hers.

* * *

Kylo almost lost her as she raced through the city, clearly unconcerned with how she was exposing her powers to them, her Force signature was faint - but Kylo sensed her in other ways. Ways he didn't understand, but didn't question.

Finally she stopped in front of a building, flashy and seemingly made of white marble; his interest peaked, but Rey flashed him a warning look and he backed off.

_ If you're going to tag along and make this worse, you'll follow my lead. _

Kylo was surprised to hear her voice in her head - where had she trained? As far as he knew, Luke was the only user in the galaxy who had trained  _ anyone  _ in the ways of the Force - and just him, at that. He acquiesced more out of curiosity than submission, watching her closely.

_ Be ready to fight in 5, 4, 3, 2… _

As the last number hit, the sound of two lightsabers igniting filled the air, one purple and one yellow. He watched her stand up and walk determinedly towards the building's entrance. Shouts echoed from the top floors and Kylo could smell their fear. He followed her into the building and watched as she held out her naked hand towards the crowd, before they could draw their weapons a blast of light emanated outward from it.

Kylo barely had time to comprehend what she had just done, but the people inside were disoriented and he was not one to waste the opportunity. He threw his hand out, focusing on the weapons he had seen in their hands, and ripped it back to his body. Guns clattered on the floor without any need for additional fighting - but there was always one stupid person and this time was no exception.

One of them charged forward towards his blindside, and he simply twirled his lightsaber and used the downward swing to slice him in half.

"Any other takers?" He called out, but there was silence after that. He had seen the scavenger flee upstairs immediately after the temporary blinding.

_ Scavenger. Where are you? _

_ Just keep them contained, don't let them leave. _

Kylo twisted his lightsaber casually, expressing his annoyance at taking orders from her. A scavenger. They should be well on their way to Jakku by now, but she dragged him to this place on an unknown mission without any explanation.

A high-pitched scream pierced the silence and he watched as several of his hostages clapped hands over their ears in reaction. Kylo used the Force to key in on what was happening.

"Please no, I swear I'll stop - I just need-"

"You need to do what you're told. And I  _ told  _ you - warned you - last time what would happen, didn't I?" He could feel the scavenger's voice, filled with rage and threatening the men in front of her.

He could sense the abject fear emanating from the upstairs room as they watched her.

_ He's lying to you. _

_ Yes, thank you, I'm aware of that. _

Kylo huffed and tuned out - if she didn't want his help, so be it. After a few minutes, she came plodding down the stairs, her hood ripped away and her cape bundled between her shoulder blades, showing off the various weapons strapped to her hips and thighs.

A knife, pulse grenade, blaster, lightsaber - who  _ was  _ this woman?

"Can we go now? I'm bored," he asked as she came closer, not sparing any glances at the people in the room.

She looked pointedly at the half-seared body at his feet, "You're like a  _ child. _ "

He shrugged in response and she turned to speak to the people, "Your boss was a skintrader. I warned him a month ago that if I caught him doing it again he would suffer. I did, and he has. You have new management now - one that will listen."

She turned and walked out the door, before calling out, "Do better."

Kylo reluctantly shut off his lightsaber and followed her.

"I need a drink, you might as well follow. We need to talk." And she sped off, with no other explanation, towards her ship.

* * *

Rey led him to the bar that rented out their landing pad to her, stumbling to a corner where should could see everything going on, near the door. She had learned survival techniques quickly once she was out in the world, away from the blistering heat and oppression of Jakku.

Her eyes glazed over a little as if she were sleepy, and the man spoke up as he sat across from her.

"You've exhausted yourself, didn't they train you how to manage you power?"

She just glared at him until a waiter walked up, "What do you want?"

"We'll take two glasses and a bottle of Corellian whiskey," Rey replied, unphased by the standoffishness of the waitstaff.

They nodded and started to turn around, but he spoke up, "I'd like a glass of Abrax instead."

He turned and caught her staring, so they sat like that for a few minutes until the drinks arrived. A silent waiting game, subtle power struggle. She grabbed the bottle of whiskey and drank from it, not bothering with the glass since he had snubbed his nose at it.

He swirled the cognac around in his glass, watching her, "You're definitely not a Jedi if you drink like that."

Rey slammed the bottle down and glared at him, "I told you I wasn't - and what, too good for Corellian whiskey? It's the best there is you know."

"I know," was all he said at first, and she watched as he took a gulp of the cognac, watched his throat muscles contract as he swallowed. Rey didn't even know his name, but found herself fascinated by him - a mish mash of features that somehow piqued her interest. "Let's just say I'm not a fan of Corellia in general, plus Abrax is by far the better drink."

"You would like something as expensive as that," Rey snorted. "I'm surprised a place like that even has it."

He shrugged, "So you said we needed to talk? What do you want to know?"

Rey threw her arms in the air and huffed, "I  _ want  _ to know why I was attacked by seven people just now. But you seem to want to keep your secrets, which is  _ fine,  _ but doesn't incline me to help you."

He opened his mouth to answer, but she barreled on, "I don't even know your  _ name,  _ and yet you expect me to just up and take you to a place like Jakku. I'm not even a guide, I don't know who told you that."

She was sure her face was red, but tried not to care as his eyes wandered her face. Grabbing the whiskey bottle, she hid it from him, closing her eyes as she took another swig.

"I'm Kylo, I imagined you would have recognized me by now, truth be told." That surprised her, because it hadn't seemed as if anyone  _ else  _ had. "We were traveling with Force speed, hard to spot, and the people in the building back there were too scared - certainly they're not going to attempt to talk to one of their attackers."

"We didn't  _ attack  _ them," Kylo let out a bark of laughter at her grumble.

"You have a very interesting definition of the word attack - maybe just be honest with yourself and you'll not have to drown yourself in whiskey."

"You seem to know who I am, who told you where to find me?"

"Ah," he sobered up a little, face wiped clean of emotion. "I was on a hunt for a group rumored to be on Jakku. In my…hunting trips, your name came up. Well, not your name - I only know you as  _ Scavenger." _

Rey shuddered at the way he used her callsign. He had used it tauntingly before, but now she could feel his interest - his curiosity - and it covered her skin in goosebumps.

"Yeah well, my name's Rey, but that doesn't exactly work in this business."

"I understand," was all he said - simply, no underlying emotion. She nodded, almost grateful that someone understood - and that he didn't push. "I still need you to take me to Jakku."

Sighing loudly, Rey spoke, "Listen, it's not exactly a place I want to visit okay? You'll have to find someone else."

He reached down beneath his cape and Rey tensed, but he dropped a bag on the table in response, the insides clinked together and she frowned. There must be enough credits in there to buy a new ship, one with an upgraded-

"You still haven't told me who those people were, the ones you killed."

" _ We  _ killed," he correctly softly, and the hair on her neck rose up a little.

Deciding to ignore it, she simply replied, "Whatever happened, I think if I'm going to take on this job I need to understand the dangers - and as nice as money is, it's not enough. And none of this actually explains why we were attacked."

"The ones who attacked us - or me, really, you were just collateral damage," Rey bristled at his phrasing and Kylo shrugged. The truth was what it was. "They call themselves acolytes. Their group - The Acolytes of the Beyond - are relentless in their desire to bring the Sith back into power."

At that, Rey started in recognition; Kylo nodded, "They're not…like us, they worship the Dark Side. They've been trying to kill me for years. I usually avoid places like this because of it, but I needed to find you."

He felt a slight push against his mind, a warm caress almost - he knew it was her immediately so let her in just enough to know he was telling the truth and then pushed her back out again.

Rey watched him after that for a few moments, "I've never done that before." She whispered it and he felt her uncertainty, bordering on fear.

"Yes, well, I suspect there are many things you can do that you've not tried yet." He felt that her force use, while unrefined, was not unknown to her - she used it frequently, but the more…advanced areas were missing. "You need a teacher - I don't know what that light thing was that you used, but if you keep doing it without control, you'll eventually find yourself passed out in the middle of a group of enemies."

She snorted, "Stars, but you sound like an anchorite. 'You must understand before you do.'" She mimicked Yazuka's endlessly exhausted voice from her lessons.

Kylo leaned in at that, "You know of them then? The Anchorites? On Jakku?" Rey noticed he was much more animated now, so close she could smell the cognac on his breath. She didn't like it.

"I was raised by them, such as it was," she said this in a way that made him wonder if she would even willingly take him to them. He had to try, though.

"I must see them - it's why you must take me to Jakku.  It was rumored that you would know where they are, they have-"

"-knowledge, yeah yeah I'm aware. Whatever you need to know, they probably have it buried somewhere in their minds," Rey's words were bitter, but she couldn't help it. "I assume you needing them has something to do with these acolytes who are after you?"

"They're after me because of who I am, so no not really," Kylo's voice was heavy, but it could have just been the whiskey affecting her hearing. "I'm just after the truth."

Rey cackled at that, so loud that a few patrons turned to look at them in annoyance, but she couldn't find herself to care. "And-and- you think," she took a deep breath, "you think that the  _ Anchorites  _ will help you?"

Kylo bristled, moving to take the pouch of money back, "Either you take me to them, or I leave now - choose."

Her eyes narrowed as she considered him. Tall, broad shoulders, black clothes, with a style of lightsaber she'd never even heard whispers about. And he'd said she should probably know him - who he was. Well she didn't. But she really needed a new ship if she was going to take more work, the supplies would get her there.

"Fine," and she swiped the bag and slid out of the booth, leaving him to pay.

* * *

Kylo followed her up the stairs outside, to the landing pad he had seen her on earlier; he knew she was some kind of bounty hunter, but only took on specific kinds of jobs and had no set pattern of where she would take them. It was by an absolute stroke of luck that he had found her here. She squatted down to pull something from her boot - a comm device he hadn't known about - and watched her as she spoke seriously to someone, explaining that it had been taken care of and she was going dark for now.

The air went silent and Kylo realized he was being watched now, which made his back straighten. Rey spoke finally as Kylo looked at the ship curiously. "I'm not letting the shield down and you into my ship until we get a few things straight."

Kylo was amused at her audacity, but waved her on, "First, you're paying  _ me,  _ but you don't have any control over how I run things. You do what I say when I say, got it?"

"Yes, mother," he smirked at the inside joke. She clearly didn't know who he was, but he knew his mother would  _ definitely  _ like this one.

Apparently ignoring his quip, she continued, "Second, I don't believe for a second that whatever you're wrapped up in with the Anchorites won't bring trouble from these acolytes, so whatever you need from them you're to get it quickly. I don't want trouble brought to them."

Kylo nodded solemnly - although for someone who very much didn't want to go back to the planet, she certainly was a bit protective of it.

He watched as she brought her hand down, eyes closed, he could feel the Force as it moved to her will. The sound of the ramp lowering to the ground was behind him, but Kylo simply stared at her instead. It was almost intoxicating, being in the presence of another Force user again, but he knew that wasn't all of it.

She walked into the ship and as she moved to the cockpit, powering up some of the computer systems, he was reminded of his father. Against his will, he wondered what Han Solo would make of this woman, flitting about preparing to fly a ship she commanded.

The ramp started to close and Kylo moved further in the open area between the cockpit and the bunk, noting how small a ship it was for someone who reportedly lived in it. Cautiously, he walked into the cockpit and sat in the empty seat next to her, silently watching her enter in coordinates.

Keeping her eyes on the maps she was bringing up, she spoke, "I'll take you to Jakku - to the anchorites, even. Whatever these acolytes want from you, if they're tangled with the Sith it can't be good."

The silence stretched for as long as it took to exit the planet's atmosphere and Kylo just nodded in acknowledgement.

"What will you ask them?" she asked once they had entered hyperspace, presumably on their way to Jakku. It would take days of space travel to arrive there, and Kylo wasn't sure how much he should tell her.

Instead, he asked her the burning question that had been on his mind since she threatened him with it. "Where did you find your lightsaber? It is a Jedi weapon, and as you say - you aren't one."

Rey sighed and turned to him, her foot propped on the console, "I found a kyber crystal on one of my trips. I didn't know what it was, at first, but when it changed colors I could feel its vibrations in my body - and I was compelled to meditate. I guess now that was probably the Force guiding me."

Grimacing at the thought, she stood up, "Anyway, I don't know how long I spent like that, but when I came to I was missing several parts of my ship and had a new weapon."

Kylo raised his eyebrows - completely unguided by anything except the Force? Envy rolled through him. He had to make his lightsaber alone, it had not been that easy. "And the color?"

Rey shrugged, "Never gave it much thought, it's just a color. I always thought it was a funny joke the Force played, reminding me of Jakku every time I'd ignite it."

There was more to it than that, Kylo knew. Kyber crystals pulled energy and intent from Force users when they created their lightsabers - it was why the meditations took so long usually.

"Yellow lightsabers are rare, or were - all lightsabers are rare now, I suppose." Kylo spoke almost more to himself than her, watching her walk to the bunk and gather a few blankets. "They used to belong almost exclusively to temple guards."

"Well that doesn't tell me much," Rey spoke and he felt that she was grateful, that another mystery was falling into place.

"Kyber crystals are odd things, but the Force isn't known for its sense of humor generally."

Later, when she was laying in her bunk and he’d lain on the floor nearby using his cloak for a makeshift pillow, he heard her ask, "So if colors mean something, why is your lightsaber purple?"

Kylo went still for so long he thought she may have fallen asleep again, but answered anyway, "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter that holds the scene that inspired me to start writing this a few years ago. I wrote most of this chapter while I was stuck in a hotel room because of a canceled flight! =) Hope you enjoyed it - let me know!
> 
> Twitter @reylosource  
> Tumblr @reylosource


	4. Chapter 4

_ A stillness surrounded him, it slithered across his skin and made him shiver; when he was younger, there was always activity around him - his mother's aides, other politicians, the sound of his father's boots as he paced in their quarters. Living in a city added to it, and Kylo retreated inward always - but even there, his mind had been neither quiet nor still. _

_ Sure he was again dreaming, he looked around, unsure where he was or how he had gotten to this place, but he started walking - aimlessly; he had to do something to rid himself of that feeling. Of pain, of guilt, of annoyance. _

When enemies bring the fight to you, you slay them without question, Kylo Ren. That is all the truth you need.

_ Kylo clapped his hands over his ears, an exercise in futility because the voice was infused with power; he felt his body hit the floor, cool but rough stone knocked against his bones, making him cry out. The voice said nothing else, but it's presence was still there - the pain paralyzing his limbs until his world was nothing but. _

_ A pinprick of light, no bigger than a star in the sky, appeared; Kylo gasped internally, focused only on its presence, using it as an anchor to distract him from the pain. _

The pain gives you strength - use it to free yourself, Kylo.

_ He discards the thought, the slippery temptation, remembering how it felt last time - and how long it took him to recover. He certainly didn't have the strength to do it again, so instead he focused on pulling his body towards the light. It was growing - slowly, but surely. _

_ He staggered up, body tall yet twisted by pain, reaching out his hand towards the light; his boots slid across the floor slowly. A burst of light swirled in front of him before his hand made contact with another's - rough, but small. _

_ A shriek was heard at the same moment, making Kylo turn around; no one was there, but the shrieking continued. The hand his was connected to started shaking in his own, sweat making it slippery with fear. The sound was coming from the light source - Kylo let go of it immediately, watching the dark tendrils recede reluctantly from the hand. _

_ "NO!" The word echoed around him as he watched the light fade away, his body with it. _

Kylo's eyes opened slowly, too calm for the dream he had just experienced, but he was well trained. He turned his body away from Rey's bunk, looking outwards to the cockpit as he slowly realized he was shivering. Teeth chattering, he sat up and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders.

A loud shout made him jump to his feet and twirling around he saw Rey in her bunk, body convulsing violently. Cursing, Kylo walked to her in two long strides and took hold of her shaking face, "Rey! Wake up, it's not real."

He didn't know that for sure, as force dreams had always been companions in his life, but he hoped for her sake they were only dreams. Her face was cold like his, but her body slowly stilled as he murmured nonsensical words at her, until finally she was quiet again. Kylo pulled the blanket from the floor where it had fallen on his way to her, and covered her with it.

Rey's eyes opened at the added warmth, and Kylo realized how close his face was to hers - and was surprised she didn't immediately attack him on instinct.

"What are you doing?" were the only words she said, and Kylo felt unsure again. His hands flexed again, realizing belatedly that once again he had touched her without his gloves. Kylo backed away and sat in a nearby chair, feeling her eyes on him.

"You were having a - dream," he paused between those words as if they were dangerous. "You started convulsing and I was trying to wake you up."

He watched as Rey's hands went around her face in a mirror of his own, her expression confused; after a few moments, she looked at him again curiously.

Clearing his throat, he spoke again, "Do you have dreams like that often?"

"Yes, since I was little. I've never been a very pleasant sleeper," he could hear the humor in her voice, but didn't share it. He knew too much about the Force to think this was a coincidence.

"Tell me about them," his voice was stern.

* * *

Rey sat in the pilot's chair, her leg perched on the console, fingers fiddling with a loose thread on her clothing. Her armor had been removed prior to sleeping, leaving her in a flexible tank top and pants. Usually she would be wrapped in a blanket as traveling in hyperspace was always colder than pleasant, but he was still in the bunkroom.

She pulled at the string a little more, almost wishing something on the ship would break so she could have something to do with her hands. Kylo hadn't said anything for over half a day, just sitting in the bunk, meditating; she was cold, but wouldn't disturb him. Rey wouldn't know what to say.

Warmth crept into her cheeks, but not from embarrassment - from remembrance; his hands had been on her face as she woke up in a cold sweat. Instead of the dream, all she felt was an overwhelming sense of  _ knowing.  _ She  _ knew  _ him - his hands, at least. Her defenses went up, and despite everything she knew logically, her body didn't recoil at how close he was to her.

And when he asked about her dreams, she told him everything.

How since she was a little girl, when the Anchorites took her, she had been plagued by dreams that often left her in a fit upon waking. Dreams of running, of losing something, of screams - but sometimes there were  _ good  _ dreams.

Dreams of hands, calloused but gentle, clasping her face. Kylo had drawn back at that, barely listening. He cut her off with a crisp, "I need to meditate," and had knelt on the floor, his eyes closed.

Rey was too stunned to say anything else, slipping out of the bunk swiftly, pretending to check on the status of their flight plan. And then she realized how cold she was hours later - but still hadn't worked up the courage to disturb him.

_ Save him,  _ whispers the voice, and she scowls at it. "He doesn't need my help, clearly," muttering to herself.

"I do, or I wouldn't be here - trust me," Kylo's voice spoke from just behind her, with a bitter edge to it.

Rey huffed, her leg dropping to the floor with a thud, and moved to the small table around the corner, "Are you hungry? I need to eat."

He just stood there as she grabbed one of the packaged foods, ripping it violently before slapping it on to the burner plate. "So who are you, anyway? Must be a Jedi, you're so calm it's aggravating."

A soft huff of air came out, she wasn't sure if it was a laugh, "Calm is one word I would never use to describe myself. I'm Kylo Ren."

"Yes, you told me your name, but who  _ are  _ you? You appear out of nowhere,  _ stalk me,  _ get me into a fight that ends with seven bodies around us, and demand I take you to Jak-"

"I'm sorry you find it inconvenient to help me." Rey's hands shook as she turned the portions over with her fingers; she wasn't sure why she was so worked up - he set her on edge. She should never have taken him with her, but without almost any thought she had him sleeping on the floor of her ship on the way to a planet she avoided at all costs.

Kylo's hands appeared over hers, taking the food and turning off the burner. She hadn't realized her hands were shaking until then, and he shifted behind her to sit down. Rey sat across from him, watching him chew the food in silence, looking at the ship's walls instead of at her. After a few minutes she took a piece for herself and inhaled it, never one to waste energy on savoring something as bland as food portions.

"I studied the Force under Luke Skywalker," Kylo's robotic voice spoke into the silence unceremoniously. Rey shifted at the implication - the association with such a legend, but he didn't explain further, simply continued. "He is a Jedi, probably the last one. I grew up around him until I left ten years ago."

Rey couldn't help but ask the obvious question, "Why did you leave?"

Kylo finally looked at her, eyes roaming her face in a way that made her shift uncomfortably, "I didn't belong there, I had issues with the…methods. And the people. I went in search of the time before the Jedi, before factions of the Force splintered."

"That's why you need the Anchorites," Rey nodded along - that's the only reason anyone ever visited that place in the desert, those people. They needed answers from archives and history that no longer existed.

"Yes, but the Acolytes are…different. They've been after me for years, something to do with a Sith ritual." Rey thought he would be scared, but his voice kept the neutral tone as if he had explained this a thousand times before to other people who had helped him. She watched a ripple go through his body, "It doesn't matter why, they'll all be dead soon enough."

Kylo looked at her again, and she felt a presence in her mind that was familiar, surrounding her. 

She pushed against it, refusing it's call, and attempted to switch topics, "The Anchorites hold the Jedi in very high regard, I don't think they'll tell you much against them."

"I'm just looking for the truth - if they are who people whisper about, they'll have it." Kylo's eyes stared at the floor of the ship, his black boots scraping against it as he pulled his legs up to his chest, his arms resting on his knees. Rey watched his head fall back against the wall as he continued, "I'm tired of being lied to."

His voice was low but fervent and Rey looked at him sharply; she wasn't interested in joining some vendetta. She wanted to  _ help  _ people, not enable ancient blood feuds between the Jedi and Sith.

"So how did a desert rat such as yourself learn to use the Force like that?" His voice brought her back to the present and she scowled at him.

"You'd think you be a bit nicer to the person who saved your ass not long ago," her words were sharp, and she watched a smirk creep onto his face. He didn't respond to her, only closed his eyes; Rey wasn't done asking questions though, "Why did you ask about my dreams?"

Kylo sighed and without opening his eyes, answered, "Sometimes what force users dream of are really visions sent by the Force. As you have been the only other one I've encountered in a decade, I was curious about it."

Humming at that, Rey looked at his hands, remembering how they had felt so familiar against her face and noticing they were gloved again. "Why do you have those on?"

"It's cold."

"Not that cold, surely."

Kylo stood up without another word and stepped back into the bunkroom; Rey was left with more questions than she had originally, and less than two days until they landed in Jakku.

* * *

The ship was quiet except for the soft humming of the engines, Rey assumed that he had finally gone to sleep. Her fingers hovered over the datapad, wondering if this was the right way to go about finding more information about him - if he didn't want to tell her, she couldn't force him.

But at the same time, she had a right to know who she was bringing to the village. The anchorites' location was known only to a few, to protect their peace and purpose. And Kylo didn't seem the type to give up information willingly.

She typed his name in on the holonet and a string of crime flags came up. Rey huffed, not entirely surprised - most people who knew her would only divulge information to others of questionable moral standing. Or maybe they had been forced to, which made Rey shudder; it was certainly possible.

Scanning down the report, she leaned into the captain's chair, munching on a bit of protein.

_ He's not who he says he is. _

Rey snorted, she definitely knew that, but as if the voice could tell she wasn't taking it seriously, the next words vibrated through her.  _ Ben Solo. _

The name immediately registered and she dropped the datapad to the floor, recalling the stories of Han Solo - smuggler and rebel leader. But she also knew of the other whispers. His mother was Leia Organa, nephew to Luke Skywalker - and grandson to Darth Vader.

She gripped her lightsaber tightly, sweat making it slippery as she parsed the information given to her. She remembered how his strength in the Force had made her body tremble, his fighting style aggressive - but well trained. His  _ lightsaber. _

Had he lied to her on purpose? She grit her teeth and walked towards the back room, not caring that she was about to disturb his sleep. She kicked the door in and before she could speak a word, her body was pushed against the wall and she cried out.

Rey tried to move for her lightsaber, her breaths coming quickly as she realized that he was holding her there through the Force itself. Kylo looked at her wrist and arm, flinching at the bruises beginning to form on them from earlier, and released her.

"I was meditating," he said, as if that was any kind of explanation for his reaction.

"Isn't meditation supposed to be  _ calming?  _ What's got you wound so tight?" Rey moved back towards the opening in case she had to bolt again, her heart sputtering as he looked at her intensely. She noticed finally that he was in a looser shirt than before, still black of course, with the gloves still on - despite the shirt itself being sleeveless.

His arms were well defined and she felt herself gulping for an entirely different reason, before remembering why she had come in here in the first place.

"You're a piece of work you know that? You can't even be honest with me, I know the truth."

"I've never lied to you and never intended to start," he stated calmly. "Perhaps I should ask  _ you  _ what has you so wound up."

Her throat was sore from his impulsive action and she spat out, "I guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree, does it  _ Ben?" _

His eyes flicked up to hers once more, an emotion flitting across his face as he moved slowly towards her, "You've done your homework, Scavenger. Now do your job."

At that he pushed past her, giving her a wide berth to avoid touching her at all. He slumped into the co-pilot's seat, lips sliding against each other as he mulled over their interaction. Minutes later, she sat next to him, her hair once again in a braid, reminding him of his mother's stories.

"Buckle up, I don't want your body flying and breaking the glass, thereby killing me as well." Her tone pulled him out of his memories and he held back a scowl. She had every right to be upset with him, he had let violence take hold of him again - even unintentionally. Given what she now knew about his past, he had to be even more on guard of himself. He needed her, and he suspected greater things were at work.

_ She could be useful to you. _

He clenched his fists at the incursion of the voice, trying desperately to ignore its influence again.

"What's wrong with you?" Rey asked stiltedly, as if she had noticed his body language, but didn't want to ask the question.

"Tell me about the light you used with the vagrants back there." He wanted nothing more than to not talk about his demons with her. It would make them too real, if he were to speak about the voices.

She snorted as her seat harness buckled in before she turned the chair towards him; normally she wouldn't pry, but until this job was over his business was her own. Regardless, she let him change the subject.

"It's something I learned on Jakku, they have a lot of knowledge stored away, you know," she waved her hand, as if the millennia that the Anchorites had housed knowledge were a passing, known thing. "Holos on so many subjects, and I found one once - it had a record of some Jedi using the force to temporarily blind enemies." 

She scratched her bare forearm as she lied to him, remembering the voice, but that was not a thing to be discussed - especially with the grandson of the greatest Sith Lord in the known era sitting next to her.

She watched his hands run against his thighs as he contemplated her words. He wouldn't look at her. Moments passed, staring at the stars as they shot through space, before he spoke.

"That's a lie."

It was a quiet statement, as if he didn't care that she had done it, just something he had to let her know he knew about.

"Maybe it is," Rey replied, not willing to give him a single inch of ground. He was already too close, flying in her ship, she didn't need him to know her secrets as well. The ship jolted out of lightspeed and the desert planet of Jakku loomed before them. "We'll need to land there, since we'll have to travel on foot to their camp."

The ship broke through atmo with a stuttering jolt and she chanced a look at him. Stoic, disinterested almost.

"Have you heard of a place called the Observatory?" His voice was quiet, but it was the question that made her jerk the controls and caused the ship to jerk into a rock formation next to them. The screech of metal deafened her as she yelled at him to help her right the ship as it fell into a tailspin.

Kylo took control of the co-pilot's controls and fiddled with the emergency airlocks, his hands moving efficiently and knowingly across the control panel. Rey spared a moment to admire his aptitude before he yelled at her to pay attention.

A flush crept up her neck as she realized she had been staring and decidedly  _ not  _ helping. She grit her teeth, she knew there was no pulling out of the situation, and only a controlled crash landing would get them out alive.

Pulling up on the controls, she attempted to maneuver the ship towards the softer sands and not the rocky outcropping the would surely end both of their lives. The ship started shaking violently and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kylo take his hands off the controls.

"Are you crazy?" Rey was incredulous, knowing both of them were needed to keep the ship steady enough for her to control the crash. But he said nothing as his eyes closed, and she watched as his hand stretched out towards the shield of glass in front of them. Her eyes were wide as she felt the air beneath the ship push up slightly, slowing the spin in a decidedly unnatural way.

But there would be time to figure that out later, because it gave her control enough to make it to the softer patch of sand, where they spun along it until eventually the friction slowed them to a stop. Rey was panting, her hands unable to let go of the controls, stark white from lack of blood flow. She could hardly see anything with the adrenaline pumping through her, seeing only flashes of black and white spots behind her eyes.

A gloved hand felt at her wrist, gently lifting her fingers off the controls. She turned to stare at him; he refused to meet her eyes as he pulled her hands away, gently massaging them for a few moments before dropping them and standing up.

"We need to get our packs, this ship won't be able to take off again, we'll need to go on foot. I'll pack the rest of the rations, you handle the water supply."

His voice was steady, calm - as if he hadn't just somehow used the Force to control their ship without so much as breaking a sweat.

"What was  _ that?"  _ Rey hadn't moved out of the pilot's seat, just watched him incredulously as if that was a normal thing for him. Maybe it was, but Rey wasn't leaving until he explained himself.

He sighed heavily as he shoved all their food into his bag, "You know what that was."

She wasn't sure why such a display of power was affecting her this much, maybe it was the adrenaline from the crash, but she felt her body begin to shiver as she sat in the chair, attempting to process what kind of man stood before her.

"We need to  _ go,  _ who knows what kind of hostiles will be drawn to the crash," his voice was forceful, but she heard an undercurrent of understanding - of resignation, as if he had seen reactions like hers his entire life and knew how the story went.

But reason overcame her again and she shoved down all the questions she had, knowing that survival was all that mattered - especially on Jakku. That was the earliest rule she had ever learned, and it served her well. She slipped out of the pilot's seat and made her way to the storage area where she kept her go-bag, ripping the canvas water bags off the wall and tossing him one.

"Fill yours up while I grab the rest," he nodded and she entered a code in the wall, opening up a hidden hatch filled with various weapons. She slipped an extra knife into her other boot, the rest she would carry. It was not ideal, carrying so much through the desert, but they would make it work.

She filled up the rest of the water bags, ripping up a piece of fabric into strips and tossed one to Kylo.

"Wrap it around your mouth and nose, your hood won't do much against the wind here." Kylo thanked her quietly, cinching it in the back as he followed her out of the ship. Whatever feelings she had about the way they had landed, she was focused now - and in her element.

He was used to the fear people had when he showed the extent of his power, it was the reason nowhere was safe anymore. But he didn't have much choice in the matter, she was the only one who could take him to the Anchorites, and Kylo wasn't about to let them both die.

She grabbed a metal staff and began the hike towards the rocky outcropping that had caused their current problem and he followed in silence for half an hour. He watched the sure way her feet danced a path in the sand, nimbly scurrying up the mounds and hidden hills. Against his better judgment, he opened his mouth.

"So how did you come to live with the Anchorites?"

He watched her stiffen and realized that whatever it was, it was probably unpleasant - but she answered him all the same.

"My parents left me with Unkar, and I cleaned the scavenged parts brought in for him for a few years before the Anchorites came to take me away," her voice was calm and practical, not laced with emotion the way he had expected.

"But why did the Anchorites come for you?" They weren't known for their charity, but then not much was known about them in general - other than their odd obsession with the Jedi and knowledge of the Force. He was reminded of his uncle, but pushed all thoughts of the Jedi away.

"One day they just showed up, offering something better than Unkar - so I went," he watched her shoulders shrug as she continued. "They were harsh, but kind - in their own way, I suppose. I never went hungry."

Her last sentence struck him hard, the stark differences of their upbringing - his thoughts slid back to them and they returned to silence for an hour, the sun dipping down lower and lower.

"What about you, when you were growing up?" She finally broke the silence and he was surprised.

"I thought you had read all about me already," he growled out, remembering how she had read up on him, and his family's past - invaded his privacy.

She huffed and turned to him with her hand on her hip, "Listen, all I did was read enough to know that you weren't who you said you were, and I had absolutely every right to confront you about it."

He watched as she stomped towards him, finger jabbing his chest, "You show up, bringing death hunters with you, babbling nonsense about Sith rituals and how I need to take you to see the Anchorites, and I'm not supposed to question any of it? Who do you think you are?"

Her face was scrunched up in righteous anger and he felt something akin to awe spread through him, even after what happened in the ship she didn't seem to fear of him. They stared at each other for so long that she began to fidget, awkwardly removing her hand from his chest. He walked past her, they were close to where she said their village would be, just beyond the rocks.

"I was sent away from my parents when I was young, my power was wilder, greater even than my Uncle's - and were afraid," he felt the anger bubbling to the surface again as he spoke. "They thought that sending me to his temple he would be able to train me to control it. They said I was too dangerous when all they really wanted was for me to become a hermit like him."

He sighed heavily, remembering all the fights his parents had, the whispers when they thought he couldn't hear them.  _ He's got too much of your father in him, Leia. That anger…  _ Kylo hadn't understood his father's words then, but years later when the news hit, everything had made sense.

"They were afraid you were like him, your grandfather. Like Darth Vader," she came to the same conclusion he had, and Kylo jerked his head in response.

"All I wanted was the freedom to study the power I had, but Luke- he was scared, locked away anything that was deemed too controversial," he smirked as he looked over at her. "So I became good at sneaking around. Eventually I was old enough to leave, and I did."

"And so now you've found the Anchorites."

"Yes, or more accurately," he gave her a smile that took her breath away. "I found you."

Rey fought the blush and scurried to catch up to him, nearly running into the mountain of a man.

He held out a hand to stop her, "Something's wrong."

She didn't feel anything, but trusted his instincts and paused.

"I feel - death," he walked forward, eyes closed as if searching for something in the Force. "There's no one here - alive, anyway."

At his words she yelled and took off running down the rocky path where she had grown up, that would take her to the Anchorites and their mysteries. They would have known of any danger, they had always been prepared for it before - why would they be caught unawares now?

"No," she whispered brokenly as she skidded to the opening, seeing bodies everywhere, their clothing no longer shifting with the intent of the owners. Her legs buckled and she landed on her knees, a pit of despair welling up inside, forcing out tears as Kylo stepped out from behind her quietly.

She watched him move with cold calculation from body to body, squatting to check each one for signs of life, even though he knew there was no hope, but she was grateful for the gesture nonetheless. Her body was frozen in grief as he walked back, squatting in front of her.

"They've been dead for days, it seems. Nothing taken, clean shots - no fire. I don't know who it was, but they weren't out for theft or destruction. Just the kills." 

He tilted his head as he spoke lowly, watching tears track down her face. His own gave nothing away, hands opening and closing into fists as he looked around, lost.

She stood up slowly, pushing away the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her as she stepped to the closest body and placed her hand on one of the wounds. She felt a jolt and was catapulted into darkness, hearing echoes of screams, but she instantly recognized what she was seeing. The Anchorites' last moments - blaster shots hit the ground around her and she took off towards them, needing answers.

When she saw them, the vision tumbled and she was back on Jakku, surrounded by dead bodies - with Kylo watching her warily. Rey let out a scream as she launched herself at him, catching him unaware.

"YOU did this, you monster," she pummeled her fists against his chest, kneeing him in the groin when he tried to grab her wrists.

"What- REY," his confusion was evident, but all she saw was red as she raked her nails down his face. She had other weapons at her disposal, but she felt the primal need to take her anger out on him with her bare hands.

"The Acolytes - they did this! And it was you who led them here," she wailed as he finally forced her to the ground, hovering over her as he gripped her wrists, drops of blood rolling down his neck from her wounds. Rey snarled with pleasure as she saw what she had done, but instead of causing his confession, only calmness pushed outward from him.

"Rey, I had nothing to do with this - they're hunting me, yes, but how could I have led them here if I didn't know where they were? I didn't-" he sighed and let go of her wrists, but still straddled her as he stared up at the dusky sky. "I didn't cause this."

Sobs finally hit with a cry, "But they were after you, they must have-"

Kylo pushed backwards and sat in the sand, pulling up his knees as he finally looked at her, "Whatever secrets the Anchorites held, I wasn't meant to find them. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to fix that."

It was that shaky admission that finally hit her, that he was as much a victim as she was in this. He was no different than any other who sought their knowledge, but still Rey couldn't shake the feeling that there was far more to it - to him.

_ Sleep. Rest. _

The voice cajoled her and she nodded, pushing off the ground towards one of the huts where a bed surely would still be.

Kylo watched her stumble away and sighed, grabbing their abandoned packs and following her, hoping to get some rest as well. If the Acolytes had done this, they were far more aware of his actions than he thought - or his contacts were jeopardized. He had a sinking suspicion that whatever was pulling him in this direction was gaining ground, and as he watched Rey's gentle breathing, knew that sooner or later she would be caught up in it.

He scowled at the thought; he couldn't be held accountable for her safety. It was hard enough just keeping himself alive. A whimper made him place a hand on her arm, soothing her. He hoped whatever dreams came to her were soft ones.

But all Rey dreamt of was a flat rock formation near the village, and rough hands against her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter @reylosource  
> Tumblr @reylosource


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the needless wait.

A cool breeze brushed against Rey's face and as her eyes flickered open she knew the dreams had come for her again. But this time, the location was new - a grassy field with tall mountains beyond and small huts surrounding an unusual building of stone. Markings littered the outside walls in a language she had never seen before despite all her study - harsh strokes and shapes lining the opening of the building without a door.

_ Go. Seek. _

The voice was pushing her inside, but she refused to obey - instead turning to stare at the empty huts. No one was here, not anymore anyway; she felt only ghosts, their lingering presence causing her to wrap her arms around herself. The hut she walked towards was nothing special, much like the ones she slept in with the Anchorites - bedrolls and a little shelf, clothes scattered without care. She ran her fingers against a tunic with a delicately designed symbol and she felt a sense of awareness - of knowing. Rey pulled her hand back, warily looking around the space until she spotted something covered haphazardly by a blanket. A box, covered by a soft decorated fabric; something in her body resonated with the discovery and she couldn't contain her curiosity.

With quivering hands, she opened the ornate box; inside was a dagger of unusual style. Knives weren't very popular now, most armed people opting for blasters, but Rey had always felt a preference for knives - when it wasn't safe to use her lightsaber, anyway. She always had a few hidden on her person, including two now in her boots. But this dagger was something else - it appeared to be too ornate for its true purpose, but something urged her to take it. It was only a dream and so she grabbed it and turned it around, inspecting each detail.

Etchings marked the blade, the hilt slightly curved in a way that fit her hands, but it wasn't a knife made for violence - that much, Rey felt. Inspecting it further told her nothing, but she hadn't expected it to. She was acting on instinct only as she slid it into her belt.

Another cold wind whipped through the hut and she was pushed outside, "Alright, alright. I'm going."

She took the hint from whatever was guiding her dream and walked slowly back towards the unusual building without a door. Rey placed her hand on the edge of the building's opening, over the marks, feeling the indentations; taking a deep breath, she stepped inside and immediately doubled over from the pressure of a hundred of people screaming in terror. She felt slices across her stomach and arms and screamed, hands clapping over her ears as they increased in both frequency and volume.

"I don't understand!" She yelled into the black void, unable to see anything inside the building. She began to crawl along the floor, shivering with pain and terror, not sure where she was going but needing to move nevertheless. Rey felt something hit her face bluntly and she slammed to the floor, groaning as she rolled over and began to sob. She had never felt so hopeless.

_ "You'll never get what you need," a cold and gravelly voice echoed into the space. "We are survivors, and you will not find them." _

A patch of warmth began to grow against her cheek and she opened her eyes slowly as the voice and pressure faded, seeing soft light running in patches along her body. The screams and voices faded as the warmth spread, and she reached out-

She broke into the present with a gasp, her body upright on the bed. Unlike last time, Kylo was simply watching her from where he sat breaking his fast. His eyebrow rose in question at her abrupt awakening, but said nothing as she caught her breath. Rey felt his eyes on her as she struggled to breathe, grateful for his silence.

Shaking her head, she stalked out of the hut, intent on moving beyond the nightmare as she always did.

* * *

Once again, she found peace as she traveled through her form exercises. It felt strange to do them here - find peace here, in the Anchorite village she had run from so often - but in a way it was fitting. The anger and terror from this morning's dream faded away as her body moved fluidly from one stance to the next.

She felt his presence beside her, and she didn't need to open her eyes to know he followed along, mirroring her as she picked up the pace. Mornings were the best for forms, and she always felt invigorated after - but this time she felt herself purposefully syncing with Kylo's movements. His energy was much more wild than her own, but she felt it resonate with her nonetheless.

As the routine came to a close she opened her eyes, catching him staring at her with a guarded expression. His eyes were open and intense as they stared back. She felt a tingling sensation run down her spine and tried to shake it off, but it wouldn't let her.

"Are you going to tell me what you dreamed of?" His voice was rough in all the right ways, but Rey scowled.

"I don't have to tell you anything," she grit out as she walked back to scrummage for her share of the morning's rations. All the peace she thought she had gained from the forms washed away as he followed her.

Kylo was quiet, but his presence refused to let her think as he watched her rip the rations into small edible pieces. "I know you have Force dreams, you can't just ignore whatever it was."

Rey scoffed, "And how would you know it was a  _ Force dream?  _ Are you in my head? Maybe I just have nightmares."

She spat the words at him, agitated by the way he seemed to know more about what was going on with her than she did. It had been years since she had been back to Jakku and she was remembering with every moment why that was.

Kylo sat across from her, legs crossed as he watched her eat, his lips shifting and pulling in thought. Finally he spoke, "When you had your dream before, on the ship, I felt - ripples - in the Force. I've never felt anything like it, but when you told me of it I knew without a doubt it was a Force dream. I have had them too, all my life."

Her lips parted as he confessed to her, warming slowly to the stranger in front of her, "What are yours like?"

The question slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it, a strange desire to know more - she had never met anyone else like her - but then, she never talked this much with other people. He ran a hand through his dark hair and she felt her heart sputter a little at the innocent gesture.

"They vary, but a consistent aspect is a warm presence - some person I don't know - guiding me towards a blinding light," his voice was quiet, but Rey was slowly realizing why the description of  _ her  _ dream had sent him into an hours-long meditation session.

"You think we're having the same dreams," she said matter-of-fact. It made a lot of sense, but also none at all - nothing tied them together except they were both Force Sensitive.

He simply nodded, but she shook her head. "This one was different - I was being shown something, an echo - like a memory. And I woke up with an intense pull to-"

She shut her mouth, annoyed at how much she was saying. All he wanted was to be taken to the Anchorites, her job was done - she needed to repair her ship and get out of there before Jakku swallowed her whole.

_ Go. _

Cursing lowly, she finally answered, "It wants me to go to the plateau."

Kylo looked as if he had a dozen questions just from that one statement, but apparently settled on, "Tell me about this plateau."

* * *

He almost regretted forcing her to take him to Jakku, but as he paced back and forth in front of her, listening to her explain what this mysterious plateau was, he felt the familiar tendrils of his curiosity wind around him.

"It's just a few clicks that way, you can see it from here," he honed in on her voice as he stopped to look in that direction, seeing a faint outline.

Sighing, he called his lightsaber to him from where it sat next to her, and spun it around in his hand, "It's just a rock, what's special about it?"

He could feel her irritation grow with each word out of his mouth and he smirked as he twirled the unignited saber around his body.

"Do you have to do that?" Rey waved towards him vaguely, but he didn't bother stopping as he went through what seemed like a parody of her morning routine, angry slashes and footwork. It wasn't calming in the slightest, but that wasn't the point.

"Just tell me about the rock, scavenger. What I'm doing doesn't concern you."

"Yes, but it's annoying," she muttered under her breath, but he heard her all the same and threw her a smirk she promptly ignored. "Listen, it may be  _ just a rock,  _ but it's where the Eremite lived thousands of years ago. It's who started the Anchorites, so they believed it was a holy place - they never stepped foot in the caves of the plateau."

He stopped his movements and nodded, finally sitting on the ground before her, one hand resting on his folded knee. "So if they never went there, why are you saying the dream is sending you?"

"Because  _ I  _ was there all the time," she said matter-of-factly with a grin that he returned. She certainly didn't listen to what she was supposed to do, even when she was young. Kylo wondered why it took him so long to learn that himself. "And it's not  _ sending  _ me, the dream wasn't about that - it was just a feeling when I woke up. Whatever happened with the Anchorites, we'll learn more there."

Kylo took a gulp of water from one of the skins and shook his head, "The  _ Acolytes _ are what happened to these people, whatever knowledge they had, I wasn't supposed to know about it."

It was always that way - those who surrounded him feared truth, and certain knowledge - all he wanted was the ability to learn and understand, and then choose a path forward. Rey stared at his fists as he flexed them, opening and closing intermittently. He wondered what things she was hiding from him.

"That's none of  _ your  _ concern, Kylo Ren," she responded sharply to thoughts he hadn't spoken out loud, but he simply shrugged rather than let annoyance take over.

"You'll tell me at some point, of  _ that  _ I am sure," he sighed and handed her the waterskin. "So why are you so reluctant to visit this place?"

"I don't like the idea that I  _ have  _ to go there, it felt as if the Force demanded it - that it was fated," Kylo listened as her voice trailed off, an insecurity that he would not have attributed to her was present, making him mull over his next words.

"What do you know of the Force, where did you learn about yourself - the Anchorites?"

She had certainly not been entirely pleased at the thought of returning to them, even briefly, and though her sadness over their destruction was palpable - it was clear in her behavior that happiness was not a familiar feeling.

"They were knowledgeable, but more concerned with the keeping and storing of knowledge than teaching it. Everything I learned was on my own - but when I was at the plateau caves, there was always a voice-"

"A voice?" His words were sharp and he saw how she sat straighter in surprise. Voices were never to be trusted, but this was the first time anyone else had ever mentioned hearing them.

_ She's just like you, Kylo. What an exquisite mate- _

He shut out the snake-like voice, physically shaking his head as she continued to explain.

"It was helpful," she shrugged. "It would guide me on what to read, and answer questions when I visited - it's how I learned the forms, and when I was old enough - it showed me where to find kyber crystals for my lightsaber."

Swallowing, Kylo asked, "And the voice never spoke to you outside of the plateau? Never asked you to do anything you didn't want to do?"

"It was just helpful, but as soon as I earned enough credits and favors I was off this planet and it was mostly silent. Still, after the dream, all I can think about is going back to that place."

He stood and went to pack their things, throwing his bag around his chest and clipping his lightsaber to his low-hanging belt. Whatever she felt about fate or destiny, he could understand chafing at, but he needed answers and the Force was only giving them to her right now. He would listen.

He tossed her bag at her, "Let's go, take me there."

"Excuse me?" He had taken a few long paces towards the unimpressive rock, hearing her scuffle and feeling the anger build. "I'm not taking you  _ anywhere.  _ Our deal is over, I need to fix my ship and get the hell out of here."

He spun around and jabbed a finger towards her, "You might want to ignore the Force's guidance right now, but  _ I won't.  _ Whatever is going on, I can't keep running from the Acolytes forever - and when they get me-"

"What do they even want with you? All that taunting about your  _ great destiny  _ was just for show _.  _ They're just a bunch of relic seekers."

Kylo ran his hands through his hair in frustration, "Look, you know who I am. The Acolytes? They're fanatical. Obsessed. Whatever they want with me, it's not good for the Galaxy - that's all I know."

He knew more than that, but nothing that would be persuasive at that moment - in the end, their wants were just as shrouded as the path forward right now.

Rey simply stared at him, and he felt tingles of the Force move around him, brushing up against his mind. Against all logic, he let her in - searching for what, he wasn't sure. But whatever she found, it was good enough. Her face softened and she slid her bag across her body and took off towards the plateau.

"Fine, I'll take you there and we'll see what great mystery some old rocks unravel for us."

* * *

It didn't take long to travel across the rocky desert that led to the plateau, and with each step Rey felt herself becoming more and more that lost girl. She had spent the past few years building up her connections, helping mete out justice where it was needed - justice that had never been afforded her. But she had always found solace here. Hands ran across the opening of the cave, familiar etchings lined the walls.

Tally marks.

"What are these?" Kylo asked behind her, that curiosity once again plaguing her.

Rey ran her fingers along the grooves of one of them, unable to deny him an answer. "Marks, one for every day I lived here."

He said nothing, which suited her just fine; she didn't need anyone's pity and certainly not his.

"So - what now?"

Rey shrugged and slipped off her bag and sat down on one of the smoother rocks, "Your precious Force guided me to the plateau, it didn't come with an instruction manual."

"It's not  _ my  _ Force - and you seem at ease with it when you fight, why won't you listen to it now?" The frustration in his body was obvious, and he slid down the wall across from her, listening to the wind whistle around the entrance.

"I-" she began to tell him  _ exactly  _ what she thought about his arrogant assumption, but as her emotions rose she felt something - a heavy presence in the corner of the cave. She crawled over to it, blindly stretching her hand into the dark space.

Kylo simply watched her, and after a few moments the tips of her fingers touched the edge of some kind of box. Grunting, she tried to stretch even more, but to no avail.

"Use the Force," Kylo said. "Hold your hand out at the opening of the hole and focus on what you want. The Force will respond to your need."

Rey sighed heavily, but followed his instructions - a full minute passed as she poured her need into the dark hole. As she was about to give in, the box clattered against the opening and landed in front of her.

"Good," was all he said, but she felt immense pride. "Was that the first time you've called an object?"

"No, but I don't do it a lot."

"Should work on it more, it can be of some use in a fight," he holds out his hand and she places the box in it.

"What is it?" She wonders.

She watched his gloved fingers run over the symbols on each side of the cube with a look of wonder, "It's a Jedi Holocron."

Rey had never heard of such a thing, but it was clear Kylo was at the very least familiar with the ornate box. He placed it on the floor and she watched as he slowly pulled the black gloves off.

"Why do you wear those again?" She couldn't keep the question from slipping out.

He held out a hand in a silent command and she took it, surprised to feel the roughness. He certainly seemed more polished, but the hands told another story. His fingers laced with hers and he placed his other hand on the box. With a sudden rush, she saw one of the Anchorites climbing into the cave, carrying the holocron and dropping it into the hole in the corner.

The scene shifts in a swirl of blue light and with this one, the box was being handed from one person to another. These people she didn't know, but when the one with the blue skin spoke she recognized it instantly. That was  _ the  _ voice. The one who spoke to her when she would play here.

The vision flickered, but before it cut out it looked at her directly, as if it knew she was there. Gasping, she ripped her hand from Kylo's and the scene ended, her mind once again her own.

Kylo's fingers flexed at the loss, but said nothing as he removed his hand from the Holocron.

"Did you recognize them?" He asked, his voice low.

"The second one - with the odd clothing - he must have been an Anchorite, but he's not familiar to me." Rey hesitated, but Kylo knew there had been more and so he waited. "The blue one - I didn't recognize, but…the voice, when it spoke. An-and it looked right at me."

Kylo nodded, slipping his gloves back on and picking the Holocron back up. "I suspect whoever that person was, it was a very long time ago - this Holocron is quite old and unlike anything I've ever felt even in the archives."

"So - the thing you do, with your hands?" Rey realized that there were bigger things at work right then, but something tugged at her to know more about the man she was unwittingly paired with.

"It's a Force ability, my touch can activate visions of past events, the history of things. It's not perfect, and it's not always wise or welcome."

"Can't you control it?"

He scowled and she almost regretted asking, "Control has never been my strong suit in regards to the Force."

Not quite sure what to say to that, she let it go and took the Holocron off the ground. "So what does it do, then?"

"It's basically a memory storage artifact, whatever is in there, someone didn't want the knowledge to be easily accessible."

Rey scrutinized the construction, looking for ways to pick it apart, but found no traditional openings. Kylo took it from her, "It requires the Force to open. Let's see what this one has to say."

The eagerness in his voice drew her eyes to his face briefly, but his attention was entirely on the mysterious device. He held the corners of the small box with the tips of his fingers, eyes fluttering closed and Rey held her breath for long moments, unsure.

She felt a soft energy shifting around them, sparks popping around the metal box; Ben's face scrunched up, his breathing labored. Without thinking, her hands slipped over his and his body sagged in relief, sparks petering off slowly.

Pressure pushed their hands away and the box fell to the ground, surrounding the cave in the blue light of an old hologram.

"It has been a long time, Lost One," what appeared to be a man had turned towards Ben, ignoring Rey. He was dressed in simple robes, with trimmed hair and a smooth face; he was certainly no Anchorite.

At her thought, the man turned towards Rey, "You're right, child. I am not of the Anchorites, but they were part of my charge."

"This isn't like any holocron I've ever interacted with," Ben spoke in awe, reaching out to move his fingers through the figure.

"It is thousands of years old, with a little more twists - thanks to the Jedi of my time. They needed to be sure I would be present in this time, though we were not sure who they would be."

Whatever puzzle was forming in her head, it finally clicked, "You're the Eremite." It was hard to keep the awe out of her voice as the figure simply nodded.

"You have been such a wonderful student, Rey. Truly worthy of your place here."

Her face paled and she felt Kylo's eyes on her, questions churning in his mind. But the Eremite said no more about it, and she simply knelt on the ground, unable to trust her legs to hold her upright.

"I'm so pleased to meet you both, it was always a gamble whether you would work together or not to open the holocron."

A warm hand touched her shoulder and she swallowed her fear as Kylo knelt next to her, curiosity giving way to concern - for her, perhaps, but the words the figure was spilling out didn't paint a clear picture yet.

"What knowledge do you hold, why did the Anchorites hide it - die for it?" Kylo's voice was strong, letting her shock fade. She rested her hand on his and he squeezed her shoulder, communicating silently. It did not go unnoticed.

"You are being chased by dark disciples, Kylo Ren. The Force has been wounded and out of control - millennia ago I arrived here; Jakku was lush and green, far as the eye could see. I was told I would die here, waiting."

Kylo fell back, sitting on the ground, lips shifting in contemplation, "What were you waiting for, then?"

"I entrusted the Anchorites with this holocron, and a…blueprint, of sorts. Things to watch for, signs to read - to know the time was nearing. A seer spoke of the wound, of balance, and of a pair - only known as the Lost One and the Freed."

Kylo snorted, "This is ridiculous, I have scoured the Jedi's archival records and there is not one mention of any Force wound or anything like it. You're  _ wrong." _

Rey watched as he stood, pacing the cave; energy rolling off of him, hands gripping the air, searching for  _ something _ . She turned back to the Eremite, "You should probably get on with telling us what this wound is, before he destroys the holocron."

Kylo glared at her, but she simply shrugged.

"It is to be expected, his energy is darkening even now," Rey threw up her hands, exasperated, but he continued. "Whether you choose to believe it or not, the wound is very real - the fact that you are here means it's close to sundering the galaxy, splitting itself irrevocably. The cause is unknown, only that two would heal it. And so I spent my days, building the Anchorites solely for the protection and knowledge that would be needed today."

Humoring him, she asks, "So how do we heal this 'Force wound', then?"

"I don't know, I only know that you must go  _ home." _

Kylo let out a shout that startled her, "Of  _ course  _ you don't know anything, you're just an old man with another Jedi riddle. How many prophecies did they get wrong? My entire family's life was destroyed because they interpreted one wrong. This has  _ nothing  _ to do with me."

He stalked out of the cave, anger trailing him.

Silence filled the space as Rey mulled over the words, the Eremite simply watching the scene placidly.

"You said I was a great student - I've never met you, though," her voice was quiet and he simply nodded.

"You have, in a way. Did you never wonder who spoke to you, trained you here?"

"That's impossible," her words were emphatic, though laced with uncertainty - she  _ had  _ recognized his voice. There was no way a holocron could have invaded her mind, taught her all she knew about the Force.

"Whether or not you believe it is irrelevant, but part of my job, once the Anchorites found you, was to ensure you were prepared."

"For?"

"For what you'll have to do," was all he said, and the words made her heart race.

"You said you didn't know how to heal this thing, so how would you know what I have to do?"

He stared at her, pity etched across his features even through the blue monochrome. He said no more in the face of her glare, until she bent to pick up the offensive cube.

"You must do whatever you have to, Rey - both of you. Whatever he thinks of prophecies, there are hints of the wound all around you. It's not a coincidence he is being hunted."

She mulled the words over, whispering a thank you before she snapped the lid shut, closing off the signal. If he was powerful enough to speak in her mind, what would he need something like this for?

Sighing, she slipped it into her bag and walked out to where Kylo stood, his hair mussed as if he had just woken.

"I've had enough lunatics telling me I'm meant for great things," he growled out without preamble.

Rey snorted, "I certainly won't tell you that, you're a bit of a disaster. At least he wasn't in your head since childhood."

She watched as he shifted away, face blank, "We should go."

"Where? My ships busted, remember? I need time to repair it, which means we need supplies."

She set off opposite the direction they came from, and Kylo follows without comment. "Destinies are nothing but trouble, my family taught me that."

"I'm not exactly  _ thrilled  _ about what he told me either you know, but I'm not the one who threw a hissy fit about it. I made a point to get off this planet, escaping my fate of - whatever it was they had planned. And then  _ you,"  _ she drawled, "Had to show up, demanding I take you back here. If that wasn't fate, then it sure was a coincidence."

They picked their way in silence after that; Kylo never asked where they were going, and Rey was afraid of what he might say. When the Eremite told them to go  _ home,  _ she felt an immediate understanding - a pull towards something she had long forgotten.

Niima was never a place she felt safe at, the Anchorites were better - but  _ home  _ was here. She ran her fingers along the smooth rock opening into the long-abandoned living quarters.

"Why did you bring us here, what is this?" Kylo's voice only held curiosity and she took a deep breath, picking up a discarded scabbard.

"This is where I grew up," she turned and met his eyes. "This is my home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on twitter/tumblr if you want =) @reylosource
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for some feeeeels.

Kylo watched her face as her fingers ran along the edging of the scabbard she picked up off the floor. His instinct was to argue with her about why they were here, a place clearly long abandoned, for supplies - Rey was keeping her secrets for now; but he would go where the Force led him, and regardless of what she said, it did guide them. Even if he had issues with how people chose to interpret it.   
  
Letting her sit with her thoughts, he explored the dwelling, small beds carved into the rock walls, metal gadgets sitting somehow undisturbed on a table. If he touched the walls, he imagined he would feel the love that had once existed - that had protected Rey even though they were long gone and buried. The feeling of acceptance that he could only dream about, created by her family.    
  
He wondered if they were ever frightened of her, if they would have sent her away in fear. Kylo looked over at her, hands curling around the scabbard against her chest, wandering around the cooking area.    
  
He doubted it.   
  
What was it the Eremite said? That the darkness was surrounding him, even now? Isn't that the same thing the Acolytes cooed to him as they chased him throughout the galaxy?   
  
_ Your power lies in darkness, Kylo Ren. I have always told you this. _   
  
As always, he pushed the voice away; he never responded to it, even in the depths of his terror and rage. The Force managed to give him that much willpower at least.   
  
His eyes shifted back towards where she stood, fingers still gripping the scabbard tightly as she stared at nothing. Without a second thought, he walked towards her - his body edging into her personal space. She didn't react at all, as if in stasis.   
  
She smelled of sand and sweat, tendrils of hair sticking to the nape of her neck; he wasn't sure what made him lean in, lips coming within mere inches of her skin. But before his eyes closed, he finally took a good look at the object in her hands.   
  
He took a step back, snatching it out of her grip effortlessly, blood returning to her knuckles at the loss of it. It snapped her out of it as she yelled, "Oi! What do you think you're doing?"   
  
Kylo ignored her, brushing his fingers along the piece of leather, trying to scrub it clean. "This scabbard, it has something etched in it - didn't you notice?"   
  
"I was a bit distracted," she muttered, and while he understood he still pursed his lips.   
  
"You need to learn to control your emotions, you won't always have me here to notice things the Force pulls you towards," his statement was arrogant and he knew she was glaring at him, drawing breath to argue with his hypocrisy. But he was finally able to read the words, and he exhaled harshly, earning her silence. "This is the Sith language."   
  
"The Sith had a language?" Her question surprised him and he looked over to see her face open and curious.   
  
"They had an Empire once, even - followers all over who were indoctrinated in dark and very corrupt uses of the Force. It went beyond just the few you’re probably familiar with - over time, things are forgotten." He recognized the word and handed the scabbard back to her, trying to process the new information as he caught her up on thousands of years of intra-Force user politics. "Their way of power was…unnatural, and it sickened their bodies and minds, but made them very powerful."   
  
"The Jedi were powerful," she retorted.   
  
Kylo rolled his eyes and sat on one of the stone beds, running his hand through his hair as he leaned against the wall. "Yes they were, but the way the Jedi use the Force - it's, more complicated. Tightly controlled, takes longer to master and requires certain…ethics. The Sith had no such qualms, dipping deep into the Force's abilities without regard for consequences or balance. Their goal was, in short, the destruction of the Jedi religion and domination over living things."   
  
He watched Rey pace the room, hands twisting around the scabbard, probably wondering why she had never been taught anything about the Sith. Kylo had to wonder himself, but held back his questions for once.   
  
"They call it the dark and light side of the Force, Jedi were the Light and Sith the Dark," he finished, once he was sure she had processed the rest.   
  
"I wasn't aware the Force had sides," her comment was snarky, unsure. He sighed and rested his head against the wall, staring up at the top of the cave.   
  
"Everything has sides," he said simply.    
  
Long minutes passed, his eyes closing as he mulled over the complexities of the battles between Jedi and Sith philosophies; he had glossed over a good bit.   
  
"What does it say?" Her voice was sharp and close and when Kylo opened his eyes, she was standing in front of him. He hadn't sensed her at all.   
  
"Jensaarai."   
  
The word seemed to have its own energy that Kylo was trying not to focus on, dark thoughts lingering in his mind, causing him to clench his teeth for control. He felt her breathing, knowing she wanted to ask the obvious question, but Rey clearly sensed his struggle. He was grateful for the time she gave him, the subtle understanding.    
  
He looked her in the eyes, "It means followers of the hidden truth."    
  
To Kylo's surprise, Rey didn't flinch or seem relieved; at that, he focused his senses on her and realized, "That's not the first time you've heard that word."   
  
"No," she said. "But I never knew what it meant."   
  
He held back the questions that sat in his mind and simply removed his gloves; Rey watched as he tugged each wrapped finger, slowly sliding them both off. Without any word or explanation, he brought out a hand, palm up.   
  
Rey hesitated, she knew what he was doing - but she had been unprepared for this intrusion into her family - what would he see, when his hands touched it? Slowly she walked over to him and placed it in his palm, but refused to let go when he gripped it and tugged.   
  
Kylo wrapped his other hand around the weathered scabbard and felt the familiar pull into memory, diving into the murky miasma. He saw a couple who, based on Rey's familiar gasps, must be her parents - the woman had the scabbard strapped to her thigh in a similar fashion to Rey's blades. He wasn't sure if it was intentional or a practicality, but the resemblance was striking.    
  
"We have to go, they must be at the Observatory already," the man he assumed was her father pressed on, as a group of them ran through a village that looked very much like the now destroyed home of the Anchorites. This was certainly Jakku.   
  
The vision slid, showing shots of people Kylo had only read about. Sloane, Wexley, Rax - this was over thirty years ago, during the Battle of Jakku - his parents had mentioned this, how close the Empire came to destroying itself and the Rebellion. Only Sloane's defection and Wexley's heroics were ever mentioned when it came to stopping the Contingency - who were the others?    
  
"Tashu is there, he's already gathered many of the Sith artifacts from the Observatory - listen to his chants," Rey's mother spoke fervently, with a great deal of fear laced in her words as the chants filtered through the halls of the Observatory.   
  
Kylo understood that fear, what they had tried to do in the Observatory here was the stuff of nightmare. The Eremite's words on the Force Wound surged forward unbidden and he shook his head. Later.   
  
"I'll take Rax, I've fought the snake before - if only during training," a woman he immediately identified as  _ the _ Admiral Rae Sloane spoke to the group as they stood in front of the Observatory's entrance, just inside the door. "Wexley, with me - he's sure to have backup in this fool of a mission."   
  
Despite being on opposite sides of the conflict, the Admiral and the Rebel ran down another corridor towards the lunatic Gallius Rax: right hand to Lord Palpatine, brainwashed native of Jakku, foundling of the Anchorites. He had drawn both the Empire and Rebel forces into a large battle over Jakku, knowing none of them would survive once Tashu activated the Contingency deep below. One of Palpatine's many back up plans.   
  
They watched as Rey's parents took off in another direction, the chilling chant growing louder; Kylo was not familiar with this part, the history had only recorded Sloane and Wexley's fight with Rax. He grew cold as he realized this was yet another thing that had been hidden - or lost.   
  
At the edge of the hall was an opening, revealing a large circle - some kind of mine shaft, and Kylo knew where it went. To the core of Jakku - and there at the edge of it, a man wrapped in familiar robes stood in incantation. Every now and then his arm would fling something else into the shaft, causing a rumble that made Rey's mother hit the side of the hallway. Kylo knew who that was, even if was thirty years ago.    
  
Tashu.    
  
Kylo's blood ran cold at seeing him, even in a vision, and he gripped Rey's hand and scabbard so hard she whimpered.   
  
Rey's father called out, causing the chanting to cease. Kylo's eyes widened as he pulled out a lightsaber - for there was no mistaking the hilt, even before the orange blade shot out. Tashu was no match for two Force users, but he picked up a long metal staff and stalked in their direction, unwilling to surrender. He was laden with amulets and oddities that Kylo could only call Sith - the artifacts Palpatine had collected for the dark rituals Tashu was so fond of.    
  
He had probably had a few followers down here as well, before their throats were slit and sacrificed to the borehole.   
  
They watched as Rey's parents fought Tashu, preventing any more artifacts from being sacrificed to the Contingency. Her mother used her blades, shallow cuts meant to bleed and weaken an opponent over time while her father fought with his lightsaber in a way Kylo had never seen before, fluid - as if dancing. Nothing like Kylo's training, or his own brawling style.   
  
They saw Tashu finally retreat, running towards the entrance to the Observatory. Rey's father pulled the woman back, stopping her from following. They were so much younger than Rey’s memories, her mother’s caramel hair longer and pinned only lightly as it fell down her back, father’s face smooth and bright.   
  
"It's done now, leave it, we've won this day," he clipped his weapon to his belt of stark white that stood out against the deep green of his armor.   
  
"He'll be back," she spoke with a resigned tone, finding no joy in the win.   
  
"We'll watch this place, ensure it can never be used by them again. Seal it off."   
  
The vision that had frozen them in place flashed again and her parents appeared, older and in this same room.    
  
"They've recovered, they're done licking their wounds-" her mother's voice whispered with anger, but he couldn't tell where it came from.   
  
"We can't stay here, Rey isn't safe - you know they'll take her if they find out she exists. We need to hide her and lure them away-"   
  
Rey ripped her hand from where Kylo had trapped it, and he let the scabbard drop, breaking the vision. She was panting, he sensed overwhelming fear and loss as she lay curled on the floor. Her eyes were vacant, body shivering. He didn't want to cause more panic, but he walked over to one of their packs and pulled out a blanket. Despite the heat of the day, he knew that being cocooned helped him and covered her gently with it, sitting on the floor in front of her, hands resting on his crossed legs.   
  
After a few long minutes, one of her hands found his; he simply let her do what she wanted with it, holding his breath as she pressed her fingers in between his, squeezing it hard. He didn't dare move, and eventually her shaking stopped and she fell asleep.   


* * *

Kylo eventually succumbed to his own exhaustion and laid on the stone floor, somehow cool despite the afternoon sun that managed to seep into the cave. He pillowed his head with his arm, the other hand still clasped in Rey's. Once sleep had taken over, the fear and anxiety left her face, save for a few mumbles and twitches now and then. He just stared at her, thumb absentmindedly caressing the back of her hand.    
  
She had learned more about her parents today than she ever remembered, he suspected. Perhaps she had never even known how they had come to leave her with Unkar, setting her on this path. At least he knew where he came from, but she had no idea. She was her own person, free of fate and indecision - she could make choices that wouldn't be judged against her legacy or expectations.    
  
He envied her as much as he respected her; she was a desert flower.   
  
At that, Kylo blanched, unsure where the thought had come from, but not welcoming it.   
  
_ It is your blood calling to hers. She is powerful, make her yours. _   
  
Despite the sinister cadence of the voice, he couldn't shake the feeling it was right. Everything was pulling him towards her - call it listening to the Force, or fate - or other. She hadn't wanted to help him, but she did it anyway. Regardless of what had been said, he would never have forced her to be his guide. He recognized the subtle hand of fate in their choices and actions, and wondered.   
  
"Your thoughts are loud," she mumbled, eyes still closed. Her hand squeezed his, as if reminding herself he was still there with her, that he hadn't left.   
  
He said nothing, but moved closer to her - he could feel the soft warmth of her exhales against his face and it comforted him in a way he couldn't explain.   
  
Rey's eyes opened slowly, catching his as he stared at her with something akin to desperation, a neediness that Rey knew all too well.    
  
"My parents ran, hid me because of what happened." It was a simple statement, but it was the first time she had said it out loud, making her face the truth - or looking for confirmation.   
  
"Yes," he answered quietly. "The man they fought - his name is Tashu."   
  
Rey moved closer across the floor, pushing her forehead against his chest, needing desperately to block out the implications of whatever he was saying next. Kylo brought their clasped hands together in between them, pressing his cheek against the top of her head as he continued.   
  
"Tashu is the leader of the Acolytes of the Beyond - the people who are chasing me." He drew a deep breath, "They are likely the same people who hunted your parents, for revenge I suppose."   
  
Rey knew she was crying, but tried her best to ignore it. For some reason, seeking Kylo's warmth and presence was different than having him look at the tears on her face. She didn't know what he would do if he saw them.   
  
She stayed pressed against him for a long time, the glide of his thumb against her skin soothing. It had been so long since she had been touched, certainly not after her parents left her - her legs tucked up against his as she curled closer inwards. 

Eventually, Kylo shifted to lay on his back and brought her with him, pulling her on top, arm soothing against her back. The gentle rhythm of his breathing was almost enough to lull her into sleep, but the steady beat of his heart in her ear was entrancing.   
  
He didn't let go of her hand. Rey had no idea why she was suddenly so desperate for his touch, why he was allowing it - his angry outbursts and condescending remarks had not built an image of a warm and comforting soul. But it was a riddle for another time.   
  
"What was the Contingency?" Her voice broke the silence to ask about the word the group kept talking about in the vision.    
  
Kylo sighed, "It was a plan by Emperor Palpatine - in the event of his untimely death, his loyal servants would use his Observatories - storage places filled with ancient Sith relics full of power - to essentially destroy the Empire. And in this case, the Rebels as well."   
  
"Why on earth would he want the Empire destroyed though? Didn't he build it?" Rey shifted her body, one leg moving from between his to wrap around the side of his waist.   
  
Kylo took a deep breath, trying to ignore the rising attraction he was feeling in this position, "He was a Sith - and quite mad because of it, in the end. The idea was that if the Empire could not protect its Emperor, it didn't deserve to exist. The Rebel fleet being a target was just how his lieutenant Rax lured them here."   
  
Rey mulled over those words, not understanding the logic - but she supposed he was right, that madness was a side effect of this dark power. In the vision she’d seen Rax and Tashu split up. "Why did they go in different directions once down in the Observatory?"   
  
"The only story ever reported, that I ever learned about, was the fight with Gallius Rax - there was another borehole that contained explosive energy of some kind; enough to destroy the entire planet and the fleets above it. But supposedly that wasn't the only thing, there was a storage bay large enough to house a cruiser. The kind Palpatine used. It was assumed he would use it as an escape, but Rax and the others were killed before he could."    
  
Kylo let the words sink in before continuing, "The other part - with Tashu and your parents - I had never heard about. But judging by what he had been doing with the artifacts and chanting, it was likely that was the true plan - there was never any explosive energy with Rax's side. This planet must have some kind of well or history with the Force - or the Sith, I suppose. It was never documented."   
  
"But somehow, Palpatine knew?"   
  
"The history that the Jedi and the Republic kept has been inadequate," Kylo said in a clipped voice, irritation seeping in as he remembered what had set him on this path in the first place. "It’s not a surprise that the Sith would keep its own records, and they were not nearly as circumspect in their censorship."   
  
Rey felt the anger in his voice, not understanding where it came from, but she squeezed his hand nonetheless. It was soft with sweat, but she didn't care. She had lived a lifetime covered in grit and grime of some kind.   
  
After a long time, her eyes closed and drifting off to sleep, she gave voice to the fear.    
  
"They're going to hunt me, too."   
  
Kylo knew who she was talking about and squeezed her harder against his chest, trying to protect her from the world, "If they find you, yes. I think they will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what yall think! =) @Reylosource


	7. Chapter 7

Kylo was the first to wake, wrapped around Rey, tucked in a blanket to keep the desert chill from their bodies.

_Keep her close, they will tell you everything you ever wanted to know._

The lure of truth, of knowledge, was seductive to him - but he disentangled himself from her body. She barely reacted to his loss as he opened one of the packs of food, searching for fire supplies or a generator in the kitchen to heat it up.

They hadn't talked about the other thing - the word on the scabbard, the one that had belonged to her mother. _Jensaarai._ Aside from the word's meaning, he had no idea what it meant - certainly not who her parents were. Seeing a trained force user with a lightsaber was extremely rare even thirty years ago. Perhaps her father had been one of the lucky few who had escaped Order 66 - but Kylo dismissed it. He was far too young, would not even have been a youngling then.

The food was hot, but tasteless; he made a pot for Rey, kneeling on the ground to wake her up.

"Rey," he spoke softly, hand grasping her shoulder and shaking lightly. "You need to eat, time to wake up."

Her face scrunched up as she shifted and stretched and he held his breath at the visceral need to kiss her. He had never spared any thought to affection, half his life spent training to be a Jedi and the other half running from it. In search of some-

"Hidden truth," he spoke in awe, wondering if that was the connection the Force wanted him to make. He had left Luke, furious at how he wasn't trusted - how he was feared; but it was also spurred by this constant need for _knowledge._ It's why he had sought her out in the first place, wasn't it? The Anchorites had apparently held far more information than even the Jedi, whose records were severely damaged in the years since their eradication.

The word - Jensaarai - followers of the hidden truth. What was it? Rey knew the word, but not the meaning; after she ate, he would ask. He needed answers.

* * *

Rey devoured the gruel he had mixed up with fervor, barely noticing the lack of taste. Food was food, sustenance and water were what she needed most right now.

"So what now?"

She watched Kylo as he folded up the blanket that had been wrapped around them both during the night, and blushed as she remembered her desperation. She didn't know what had come over her, her body seeking his warmth and comfort. For once in her life there was someone who didn't run or push her away when she did.

"You need to tell me where you've heard the word Jensaarai before," he was forceful, direct. So much like he had been when they met just days before, _perhaps slightly_ less cocky.

"I don't _need_ to do anything." Rey snipped at him, because it was true - he had no right to demand things of her, certainly not things from her past.

Kylo slammed the pack down, "Do you really think you're not involved in this now? After what we saw? For whatever reason, this involves both of us now."

He gestured between them with his finger, keeping his distance as he ground out the words.

"There might be some connection, but that doesn't give you any right to _tell_ me what needs to be done," she huffed and slammed the bowl down on the table. "If you want to know something, you _ask_ Kylo - don't demand it."

He stopped and cocked his head, staring at her as if she had suggested something novel. Maybe he didn't even realize the way he was asking was considered rude or condescending. _Definitely a snob_ , she decided - but considering his family, she understood. He _was_ royalty after all.

"Fine," he ground out. "Jensaarai means something, it showed us what happened with your family - I don't know who they are, but your father certainly was a Force user. I've never seen or heard of an orange saber before."

Rey snickered as she unclipped her own lovingly crafted lightsaber, "I guess unusual colors runs in the family."

Kylo decided to hold off on continuing the yellow kyber crystal color history lesson at that moment and continued, "So where have you heard it before?"

Rey smiled as his tone changed to something softer; he was a good listener.

"The day we left this place, the day they dropped me with Plutt - my father told me I was more than his daughter," her voice quivered at the word, but she steeled herself. "And then he said I was Jensaarai."

Kylo stepped towards her, his hand moving towards hers, but held back. "That's exactly what he said, nothing else?"

Rey simply nodded and watched as he processed everything, running his hand through his hair as he stood there. His fist clenching and opening rhythmically; he always seemed to be filled with tightly controlled energy.

"We need to go to the Observatory - your parents obviously stayed here to protect it from the Acolytes and we need to be sure it's still sealed."

Because they were dead and had been for fifteen years. She knew what he was saying, why he was worried, but-

"It's been fifteen years, whatever was down there they surely would have it by now - and what they needed it for must already be done."

She had a point, but Kylo knew they had to check. He had to see it for himself. "The Force doesn't show me visions for no reason, I'm being pulled to it - it's just a feeling. We have to go."

"Oh come on, you still have free will - you can choose to ignore whatever it's saying, what if we're not supposed to touch whatever is down there? What if my parents sealed it off, or worse, booby trapped it?" She couldn't keep the annoyance out of her voice at his insistence - following the 'will of the Force' was getting aggravating, especially for someone who had spent her life at the control of others.

"You don't have to come."

Of course she did, and he knew it - she was as tied up in this as he was now. It had been the reason her parents died, she owed it to them to find out - to check, at least. They had abandoned her - whatever the reason - and left her to a life of manipulation in the name of some prophecy. But she remembered the twist of her dad’s smile, and her mother’s laugh and shook her head, sighing.

"Fine. But I don't understand why you talk about hating your past and legacy while walking right into it everywhere you turn."

"I don't hate my legacy, I'm trying to understand it. I hate how it causes problems like the Acolytes hunting me, but I don't hate _it,_ understand?"

She didn't, but it was his life - if he wanted to spend it being carted around by some mystical energy then that was on him. But she wasn't sure why it bothered her so much to begin with.

* * *

Rey found her old junky speeder near the village, managing to get it working without much fuss - leaving them just enough time to get to the Observatory. It wasn't necessarily a hidden location, fairly documented from Kylo's studies, but those who lived in the desert stayed far away. Whatever energy it gave off, if any, was enough of a deterrent for everyone but those who were determined - or crazy.

Kylo found himself taking full advantage of their positioning as he sat behind her on the speeder; she had silently pulled his hands around her waist, pressing them against her stomach. He pressed his entire chest against her back, their faces wrapped with cloth, eyes protected with goggles. But his arms were secure around her and she pressed into him as they flew across the desert.

Neither one said a word about it when they arrived, Kylo grabbing their packs from the netting on the side of speeder in order to make camp before dark.

"Are you sure this is it? There's nothing here," she looked out at the seemingly flat and empty desert, but Kylo shook his head and nodded towards the slightly elevated patch that looked more like a hill than an entrance.

"It's a flat elevator platform just over there, according to the records. This is the place. I can feel it."

"I don't feel anything," Rey was curious why he seemed so certain.

"Maybe it's the darkness descending on me," he mocked the Eremite's words, but Rey scowled at him. She knew he was just as troubled by those words as she was, if for different reasons. He was potentially dangerous; that was the real message from the Eremite. Rey had to watch him.

They set up camp silently, one tent and a small fire to keep them warm as the chill set in and the twin moons of Jakku began to rise over the blue horizon.

Kylo sat cross-legged in front of the fire and Rey watched him dip into his meditative state; she probably should have worked through her forms, but felt entranced just watching him.

"I can show you how, if you want," his words surprise her - she expected him to be more unaware of her gaze. But he didn't clarify further, just let her sit with his offer. Rey was certainly curious about what it was he was doing - but was it dangerous? To be so disconnected from reality with him around?

He shifted around, his eyes opening, "Rey, I am not dangerous in the way you think - if you are curious, let me teach you this."

Rey felt her body flush with heat and Kylo wordlessly turned his hands over, palm-up. She moved in front of him, resting on her knees as she tentatively placed her hands over his. He gripped them tightly as he spoke.

"Breathing comes first, the awareness of what keeps your blood moving - your connection to the Force. I want you to count silently to four with each inhale and exhale, I will guide you."

She did as he asked, listening to his low, soft voice whispering, "Inhale, two, three, four. And Exhale. In, out."

The silence in the desert seemed to fade away, a cool breeze rustling hair that had escaped her braid during the day’s travels. His voice lulled her for minutes until she had no concept of time or feeling in her body. Kylo was far, far away, but she still felt him holding her hands, calloused palms rubbing against her own.

"Imagine something tranquil, a place or thing that makes you feel safe," Rey immediately thought of the green fields from her dreams. But her mind wandered, wondering what it was that made Kylo feel safe. Where did his mind take him when the emotions became too much, when things became too complicated to unravel?

"Focus, Rey," he chided as if he knew her thoughts wandered. "You are safe within the walls of your mind, what question are you trying to answer?"

Her body felt light, but she didn't expect his prompting. Is this why he meditated, for answers - not peace? That shouldn't have surprised her, not really. But she did as he asked, focusing on her question - why was she being dragged on this journey?

His voice spoke again to her, but she didn't hear him as she floated further away, honing in on the question. She didn't try to answer it, only opened herself to the answer.

For a long time, all she felt and saw was bright light, until a shape began to emerge. Dark colors swirled around it, manifesting in what was unmistakably a person. Rey sent her focus, her energy, towards it; it came closer and closer, and then she knew.

She knew what it was before the face solidified.

It was Kylo Ren.

Her eyes opened and she gasped for breath, watching as Kylo leaned to his side for the water canteen, holding it up for her. She gulped it down, blinking rapidly, trying to unravel yet another riddle.

"I take it you got your answer then," he drawled mildly.

"It didn't make any sense, just like the dreams." At the mention of her dreamscapes he tensed.

"It's not always clear what the Force is trying to tell us," he said diplomatically, and he smiled at her raised eyebrows. "I never said I knew exactly what it was telling me."

She gripped the water bag and looked longingly at their tent and blankets, "We should get some rest I suppose."

Kylo simply nodded, watching her carefully. "Do you want me to join you again?"

What a loaded question, but she saw that he understood her; the need for touch, for safety - warmth. Most surprising to her was how much Kylo filled all of those for her. She answered with a nod and he gave her a rare but brilliant smile.

She crawled into the low tent, Kylo following after, pulling her back against his chest and throwing their blankets over them both. The care with which he tucked it into her sides made her push closer against him.

"I've never slept beside anyone before," she whispered, as if it was her darkest secret.

"You and I are much alike, scavenger," he replied, his words losing all bite. "Sleep, we have a long way to go."

Those words made her wonder whether Kylo had known what she would ask - and maybe even what the answer would be. Her world had changed so much in the last few days she hardly knew which way was up and what she should do; in the desert night, fire crackling nearby, wrapped around the dark prince who had tracked and forced her back home, she knew with utter certainty that Kylo was her answer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it =) 
> 
> @reylosource


	8. Chapter 8

Kylo was up just as the sun began to emerge from its hiding place, carefully extracting his body from Rey's. She’d turned towards him in the night, head tucked under his chin; he had lain there for nearly an hour, feeling her breath on his chest, the tiny shifts in her body.

_ It's nearly time, Kylo Ren. _

The voice surprised him, it had been silent for nearly a day - the longest since its first appearance. As he began to pack up their minimal camp, it continued.

_ You know what it was you saw there, in the vision. You cannot deny the pull you have to her, you think that is an accident? You are darkness and she is for you, a prize at the end. Should you give in, she would be yours. _

He shook his head, trying to convince himself of the lies. The voice had always plagued him - listening to it had always brought him pain. It had taken years to build up the ability and skill to resist the lure, hours upon hours of digging through old Jedi archives for the right techniques. The very ones that had seen him sent away from his parents.

They had been scared of him, of what he was searching for. But he had only sought knowledge - the truth, so he could find his place and protect himself from whatever seemed to have hold.

_ When you're in the Observatory, you will see the truth. I am right. _

Kylo threw the pack on the ground and stalked away, as if physical distance from her would solve the problem. It wouldn't - the voice was the problem, and it would never go away.

Eventually, the Acolytes would get what they want and him with it. He wasn't strong enough to fight them alone forever. And he was all he had, regardless of whether Rey was still here.

Kylo paced across the sand, shifting under his boots with each step; he looked back at the dying fire, the pack he had thrown to the ground laying open, food spilling out.

She was after answers about her parents - why they had protected a place like this, years after the Empire had been ruined over an elaborate game of chess. And he couldn’t give them to her - she didn’t belong with him, chased needlessly by a dark cult.

"Kylo?" her voice made him turn, surprised at how far he had traveled in his contemplation. Even for this early her eyes were sharp, holding her body as if expecting an attack from any angle. He smiled as he walked back towards her, reminded of her ferocity. The voice was wrong, she would never be his.

He caught up to her quizzical expression, "Only dealing with inner demons, not to worry. Perimeter is clear for now."

Rey seemed to weigh his words, opening her mouth as if to ask the obvious question. But she didn't, it was too much. He understood. She wasn't here for him.

"I've already packed everything but the tent, we'll need to head over before the sun gets too high."

She nodded and snapped the blanket from the tent, folding it efficiently before strapping it to their bag. Kylo watched her movements, reminded of how much of her life had been spent alone. Even the people who raised her had only done so because of some prophecy. His lonely existence was only caused by himself.

Leia would love her.

Kylo took a step back, examining the thought that had popped into his head, surprising, but not wrong. Maybe he would introduce them, Leia would enjoy a protégé. Kylo had certainly never been enough for her.

"You going to help me?" Rey's hand waved in his field of vision and he stepped forward, helping her breakdown the small tent. She watched as he folded it the rest of the way, "Are you absolutely sure you want to open this place?"

Kylo shook his head, silently laughing at how she could seemingly read his mind. "No, I'm not - I don't want to go in there, I want to ignore everything the vision and the Force is telling me and run like hell. This place is obviously watched by the Acolytes. Your parents died because of it. There is nothing about me that wants to go in there."

"Then why on earth are we here?" Her tone grew irate, frustrated, and Kylo couldn't blame her.

"Because  _ you  _ need answers and that's what the vision pushed us towards. And I'm here to make sure nothing happens to you."

Rey strapped her bag against her body, "You told a different story before. I don't need your protection - in case you've forgotten, I was the one who beat  _ you  _ up in that alleyway."

"Everything I've told you has been the truth," he stared at her in earnest, willing her to believe him. It was all connected - the Force, the vision, the Eremite, her parents, Rey herself, the Acolytes - he couldn't ignore the current focal point of it all: the Observatory. "This place is dangerous, and I don't want to be here. But I  _ have  _ to be. I told you, you could stay here. I don't need you anymore."

The words hit her and she recoiled before he could take them back; Rey's body turned in on itself and she pulled herself on to her speeder before he could even process why she was upset.

"Rey," he walked closer to her, voice low. "I didn't mean it like that, I-"

"Can we just go? We're both stuck together for now, and I want to get this over with."

Her voice was cold, and he couldn't blame her for it. He climbed behind her, taking care this time to use the straps on the sides for balance and not her body as they took off for the mechanical lift that would take them deep into the Observatory.

* * *

They walked the perimeter of what they were sure was the opening to the lift, Rey inspecting it for any mechanical switches that would grant them entry.

"You're absolutely sure there was nothing about how to get  _ in?"  _ she asked, her anger and hurt from earlier pushed away, focused on the task at hand. Kylo shook his head.

"I'm sure, but there must have been a way - Rax was here first, with Tashu." He squatted down, placing his hand on the hot metal. "These were built by a Sith, perhaps-"

He knelt, feeling the vibrations in the sand, placing his other hand against the interface. Rey's eyes were on him, sharp and curious. Kylo closed his own, connecting to the ecosystem deep below them, the roots and terrain that surrounded the accessway. Long minutes passed, his breathing somehow syncing up with Rey's. She was the only thing he could hear.

He felt it then, the latch underneath, and flipped it with an ease that should have worried him.

The metal below him began to shift and Rey gripped the back of his shirt, hauling him away to land on the safe sand.

"Thank you," he murmured. She had used the Force on him, but she probably wasn't even aware of it. Rey was a natural in terms of control and power, and Kylo was in awe once more.

Rey didn't respond, just stood there watching as the platform fell open, stairs going down to what was certain to be a lift to the lower levels. She took the first step before looking back at him with worry.

"I have a bad feeling about this," she said.

Kylo huffed and scrambled off the ground, following her as she climbed down the stairs with a grace all her own. His loud steps echoed, hers made no sound at all.

Her hands rested against the lever that would take them down, "Here goes nothing."

Before either one of them could back out, she pushed it forward and they dropped faster than anticipated, her body falling backwards into Kylo's. He barely had time to brace the fall with his feet when she hit him, but he held her firm to him, steadying them both as they kept falling.

He hadn't expected it to be this deep.

The elevator slowed and eventually jerked to a stop. Kylo released her once she stood straight again, both of them stumbling, slightly disoriented.

Kylo stepped off the platform into a dome-shaped room, two hallways in opposite directions.

"This is it, what we saw," Rey's voice held awe, as if she hadn't believed what the Force had shown them.  _ Him _ .

"Safe to say the security was the latch above, only Force users can open this place." Kylo tried not to think about who would have opened it for Rax. Maybe Rax himself. There had to have been a reason Palpatine had groomed him so, though he had Vader. The only other Force user was-

"My father and mother went that way," Rey gestured to the hallway to the right, looking longingly towards it, as if traversing their path would bring them closer to her. Kylo said nothing. Waiting.

"That's where we need to go, Rey," he said it as gently as he could and watched as she tensed up at his presence. She gave him a small smile, enough to let him relax; she wasn't tense because of him, then. It was this place, and he couldn't blame her. Walls were a black stone, stale warm air, and the hallways were pitch black.

Rey pulled out her lightsaber, igniting both ends, washing them in yellow light. His own wouldn't be of much use, dark as it was.

"So what are we looking for again?"

"I don't know," he replied simply, running into her back as she stopped to stare at him incredulously. He just returned her stare before finally relenting, "Your parents stood guard for fifteen years, we need to make sure this place - the artifacts - are undisturbed. If the Acolytes have looted this place, we need to know - they'll be more dangerous than I had anticipated."

Rey wasn't sure whether she believed that was the whole answer, but it was true enough. "That doesn't explain why  _ you're  _ here."

"I'll find out soon enough, I suppose," he shrugged in that infuriating way of his. He followed the Force as if it had all the answers, and Rey  _ knew  _ it didn't. It didn't - couldn't - know everything. It should have protected the Anchorites, her  _ parents,  _ if they were all so important.

But they didn't - because the only thing she could rely on was herself.

Her hands twisted around the metal center of her saber, feeling his presence behind her. Could she rely on him? Everything seemed to be telling her  _ no,  _ even him - but something in her, some overwhelming tug, made her continue on with him. Whether she could trust him or not, Rey felt safe with him.

At least for now.

A shaft of unnatural light sputtered on as they walked forward, causing them both to slide into defensive stances, Kylo's lightsaber drawn in a blink of an eye.

"It's fine, must be motion censored," he extinguished his blade and she responded with the same, walking alongside him until they reached the circular shaft area where her parents had fought the leader of the Acolytes of the Beyond. Preventing a catastrophic end to Jakku - and the Empire and Rebel Forces. Who knows what else, given the relics that strewed the floor.

"I wouldn't touch any of these if I were you," Kylo warned, kicking a few around where they rested on the floor. "A lot of Sith things have been known to possess anyone who touches them, and we don't know the origin of these other than them not being good."

Rey nodded, accepting his knowledge in this area, looking around for what she knew existed, "There it is."

Kylo followed where her arm pointed, seeing a scattering of artifacts.

"I suppose this is confirmation that they haven't been here," Kylo should be relieved, but everything about their situation left him on edge and his eyes roamed the corridor and walls as Rey picked at the surroundings. He noticed she was careful about what she touched, mindful of his words.

Kylo took a glove off to rest his hand on the wall, hoping the Force would tell him something, but it was silent. He felt only the warm rock under his skin. Rey called his name, but whatever she was going to say seemed to die in her throat as Kylo ripped his hand away.

"We need to go," his panicked voice made her touch his arm, turning him to look at her.

Rey stared at his wide eyes and felt his racing pulse under the skin, squeezing his arm in what she hoped was comfort. The ground seemed to shake with the effort, making them stumble apart.

"Jakku doesn't have quakes like that," she was beginning to understand what made him panic, but she couldn't sense much beyond the walls.

"Those are ships landing," he was grim as he looked over at her. "I'm not sure there's a way out for me here, but we need to go - now."

Rey nodded and he turned towards the hallway, saber at the ready; she dashed over to grab the object she had been staring at. She’d wanted to ask Kylo about it, but there was no time, and somehow she knew to take it. He would be furious if he found out, but she would deal with it later.

They ran down the long hallway, rocks and dirt falling around them at the disturbance from above. A large chunk of rock loosened as Kylo ran by, nearly falling on Rey, but he spun around, catching it in mid-air. His face struggled with the effort of holding it with the Force and Rey raced around it as fast as she could.

"Thank you," she gasped as she ducked beneath his shaking arm.

"Guess we're even now," he gave her a small smile as they stepped into the curved room with the lift.

"They must not be able to call it back without a Force user," Kylo theorized as he peered up towards the opening. He knew it must be the Acolytes, tracking them - perhaps even set the trap in the first place. It was always supposed to play out this way, but - Rey wasn't meant to be here. The Acolytes hadn't planned on her, or they would have had him days ago in the alley. Maybe.

He stared at her, knowing they weren’t here for her - it was always him they chased, tracked. She would be safer this way, Kylo thought as he stared at her face, freckled from the sun and achingly beautiful. He drew a breath, not seeing any other way - there was no reason for both of them to be taken. 

"I guess I know why I'm here now."

"That's not funny," she huffed. "There has to be a way out of here, how else were they supposed to escape back then?"

Her words jogged more of his memory of the Contingency plan and he realized she was right; but they would never be able to launch it with the Acolytes' ships surrounding the Observatory.

"The Acolytes brought multiple ships, I doubt we'd get away," he began walking towards the lift, taking a step on it. "But you can."

"Kylo! That's ridiculous, you know what they'll do to you-"

She sprinted towards the platform and Kylo froze her with ease, unsuspecting. He couldn't allow her to get hurt because of him.

"Take the hallway that Rax went down, it should lead you to a number of ships - and a rather large one. When the Acolytes leave with me, wait for one cycle and then take one and go." He smiled sadly at her furious expression. "They don't know I'm not here alone. Rey, if you need anything, find Luke. Find Leia. They'll help."

He hit the lift's lever and it began to rise, unfreezing her as he went. He heard her scream at him, but couldn't make out the words.

Down below, Rey seethed and screamed as he left her there alone. As if she needed his protection, as if they couldn't take on the Acolytes - they were a good team, fought well together. She swiped tears from her face, furious at his arrogance. Silence took hold as the platform sealed shut, and all she heard were blasters and a thud on metal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed. find me @reylosource


	9. Chapter 9

Water dripped down the cracked walls in a mesmerizing cadence with torches that lined a circle where Kylo Ren lay shackled. Bruised, weakened, but alive. Hair matted to his face as he floated, frozen, above the circular contraption. His mind was silent, his will and connection to the Force kept weak from the chemicals that coursed through his body.

The chamber was cold, air heavy with the smell of mildew. There was no sense of time here, or place. Nothing but the drip of the water and his memories.

Feet shifted outside the stone walls and dread settled into his stomach as he realized they must belong to the Acolytes that had taken him. Kylo knew what was ahead of him, what their goal was - a ceremony, a transition - the ritual that he had always run from. A few of them scurried around him, their robes shifting against the floor, preparing a circle with a black sand he didn’t recognize; they would have to bring him out of the stasis eventually, to convince him. Make him choose.

They always wanted him to make the choice - give in to the darkness, succumb to the voice’s seduction - or die. As if there was ever any choice - he was dead either way, spiritually or physically.

The leader knelt down, pressing a few buttons before stepping back, watching as his captive's body dropped to the ground, grunting as his back hit the device and rolled off. Kylo laid there for minutes, slowly coming back to a body that wasn't entirely his own; he had never felt a moment where he hadn't been surrounded by the Force. His mother used to talk about how he glowed with it while still in her womb, but it had darkened with time.

He was empty now, dissociated from the living energy that had merged with his consciousness from the moment of conception.

It was horrifying and disorienting, but he pushed off the ground with a grunt, eyes taking in the surroundings. Dark, cobbled stone lined the floor and the walls were bricked and wet from an unknown leak. There was no door, just an opening into a long narrow room with a spiral staircase that tugged at his memory. He must have read about this place, at some point.

An Acolyte stood in the corner, watching him with an eerie stillness, a red marking on his face.

"We have waited a long time for you to come to us, Kylo Ren," his voice was modulated, likely from a translation device. Kylo couldn't identify the species, and focused on that, pulling on the strands of his memory to waken his senses. The marking wasn’t natural, and its entire body was hidden by robes that made him shapeless.

"I didn't come to you, Acolyte," he spit out, irate at the suggestion. His voice was hoarse, weak and without proper hydration, kept alive just barely.

His eyes studied the mysterious circle as he watched the Acolytes file into the room, ignoring his protestations.

"Oh, did you think you were listening to the Force when it told you to go to the Observatory?" the Acolyte leader hunched over and watched Kylo's face as he realized how deeply he had been fooled. "The Sith are powerful, Kylo Ren, and yet you have never truly appreciated it. Never accepted it. They have ways to confuse you, to fool you. And you thought you were too powerful for it, hmm?"

Kylo groaned, grabbing his head, shaking it furiously. He was wrong, _this_ is what Sith do, confuse and befuddle and make him question everything inside, the one thing he had always been sure about: the Force. He would never have allowed it to betray him like that.

"I need water," he demanded, and the Acolytes simply watched him. "Aren't I supposed to be worshipped? Is this how you treat your future leader?"

Laughter echoed in the chamber as the leader stepped closer to him, "You are nothing but a vessel, a conduit to the Lord's resurrection. He has brought you to us, and you have been given every opportunity to embrace your destiny."

His hands flicked up, gesturing to another group who began to create the circle that had been outlined. Kylo's breath came short, eyes trying to focus on anything but the now-fuzzy shapes of the Acolytes. Whatever they were planning, they had grossly underestimated how much water his body needed. He might not make it through the transition.

"So now we will take it from you, and you will not stop us. _He_ will lock you in your own mind," the Acolyte hissed. "As punishment."

_Do not worry, Kylo Ren. I will make sure Rey is well taken care of. Sith are quite fond of pleasure slaves, you see. And she is of most interest to me._

A lifetime of ignoring and pushing the voice away fled with the threat towards Rey and a feral scream came from deep within his body as Kylo launched himself at the nearest Acolyte, hands wrapping around its throat and squeezing with glee as the life faded from his body. The others pulled at him, wrapping a chain around him and slipping it through a hook in the cave floor. They had come prepared.

He pulled at the chains, metal digging into his skin as the links pinched his muscles. The adrenaline from the fight brought awareness and sight back to him as his eyes sharpened, mind calculating his next move.

"You see? The darkness, the violence, it is your birthright - without a thought you extinguished that being’s life. Not something a Jedi would do."

The Acolytes began chanting in unison as the one with four eyes sliced his palm with a dagger that seemed to suck all the light out of the room, long and tapered with a red hilt. Kylo struggled against the chains as each one did the same, holding the blood in their hands, the chanting becoming deafening. His head pounded, as if someone was digging into it in a most brutal fashion. It had never been like this when his mind was read by Luke, it had all the pain of the dark side slithering around it.

"With this blood, we offer sacrifice to our Lord, the greatest Sith, to usher in a new era." With that, still chanting, they held their hands out palm down, letting the blood hit the cave floor. It sizzled as it hit, unnaturally, and Kylo saw the leader pull out what he knew immediately to be a Sith Holocron, the three-sided shape unmistakable. He scrambled back to the center of the circle, putting distance between himself and an object that would surely possess him if he did not stop them.

"You do well to be frightened, Kylo Ren, but it will do you no good. This is our life's work," he slid a key in, opening it. A dark vapor seemed to slide out, searching for a host. Kylo searched for anything in his mind that he could hold onto as a waypoint, something to keep him centered and strong for the fight that would come. "And yours is at an end, I fear."

The vapor hit his face, seeping into his pores and eyes, and his body seized up in one tremor after another as whatever presence was vying for control. It tried to seal over his mind, but Kylo pushed at it, using his waypoint to tether him to consciousness. To slip into the void would be to give up.

He focused on the bright light from his dreams, the ones he tried to hide from everyone; shifting colors of gold and brown and red. Yellow. Like Rey's lightsaber.

Kylo's eyes flew open, "Rey."

Her name was like their chanting, a talisman, a ritual - repeated enough times, it held power. Power to center him, a strong rope around his mind giving him focus.

The power the Sith presence brought to him slid and rested in his limbs, but for the first time Kylo felt in full control of his powers. It was exhilarating.

Kylo's hands shot out, blasting a bolt of white lightning towards two Acolytes who had held firm in the circle. Surprised shouts followed, and the rest tried to run. But Kylo used his new powers to teleport to the entrance of the cave, sending them flying backwards before he stalking into arms distance, landing blow after blow. Bodies burned, ripped apart in his rage, circled around him.

 _Yes, you've forgotten what power truly feels like. But you’re remembering, no longer will you be the one running - they will run_ from _you._

His mind, not fully human or his own, grunted as he stalked back towards the circle, towards the one that had led them. Refused to feed him. Kept him weak.

The leader knelt there in the center of the circle, besides the chains Kylo had broken. He looked serene, and Kylo sneered.

"Our sacrifices will be remembered," were his last words as Kylo grabbed his head and sent wave after wave of Force lightning into his body, refusing to stop until long after he had ceased moving.

_Very nice, Kylo Ren. It seems I was right about you._

Kylo shook his head as the presence began to fade, whatever possession they attempted had failed, and now all Kylo could think about was the blood on his hands and the water skin in the corner. He stumbled over, opening and draining it with shaking hands.

Kylo collapsed onto the ground, losing consciousness rapidly, unable to feel anything in the Force other than exhaustion. Her name still chanted in his mind as he walked back to the way point of sanity, a brilliant shot of a desert girl pointing her yellow lightsaber at his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, kylo.
> 
> find me on twitter/tumblr @reylosource


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I triple checked this one. No double posting. It is actually 5k words. =)

Blood splattered as the alien's body hit the floor, spewing from their mouth. A mud-covered boot settled on top of its head, pushing the face into the hard floor of the now-empty bar.

"I don't  _ understand  _ what is so hard about answering my  _ question _ , Olep," Rey grit out, listening to him moan in pain as she pressed down harder.

She had wasted precious days fixing her ship to leave Jakku, praying she would never have to return, with Kylo's words in her mind.  _ Find Luke Skywalker. _ She knew he had meant if she found herself in trouble, but right now he was the only one in need of his family's help.

It was easier said than done and nearly a week after his abduction, Rey had only made it to the nearest spaceport. One she knew all too well.

Only for whatever reason, no one seemed to want to deal with her anymore - her ship sitting in the port, useless without the right parts. Which led to more than a few broken noses and bones, and probably added to her reputation - which she couldn't feel bad about. It was a useful reminder to them of how she had earned their respect.

And why it was a  _ terrible  _ idea to deny her what she needed.

"Who told you I was burned?" she struggled to keep the desperation out of her voice as it wavered, and hoped it just sounded like anger. Kylo had seemed certain that she hadn’t been made by the Acolytes, but the timing - it was all wrong. She  _ needed  _ to get to Chandrila. To Luke - and Leia.

Olep’s silence went on for too long; Rey sighed, lifting her foot off his head as she unclipped the lightsaber from her belt, thumb shifting over the activator. He watched her, the green blood sliding down his bashed-in face, and held his hands up as he realized what she held.

"Ok! You win," he spit a mouthful of blood onto the floor as she kicked her boot against the counter, knocking off the mud as she watched him stand slowly. She still had the Force if necessary, not that he needed to know that. “It was the creeps - those Vader worshippers. Paid us all off, with a warning that they would be watching. No one wants to get in the middle of you Force freaks again.”

Rey's eyes narrowed, but nodded. He would be incredibly stupid to lie to her now, and she sensed no dissembling in him. She pulled one of her long knives out from behind her armor and walked behind the bar to fix a drink. She hoped she was going about it all the right way, trusting Kylo's instincts with his Uncle. And she knew for certain that asking around about the Acolytes was likely to get her killed and on their radar.

Olep grunted as he sat in front of her and she handed him a towel dipped in water to clean his face.

"You're a real piece of work, Jakku."

"Whatever gets the job done," she replied dryly. Didn't much care what some seedy bar owner thought about her.

"Guess it's good for me you don't take on the dirty work."

Rey's eyes dropped to the mug, watching the liquid swirl with the movement of her hands, not knowing how to answer that. Instead, she pulled a chip out and slid it to him.

“List of parts I need,” she knocked back the rest of the burning liquid as he grunted and inserted it into his datapad. “And I need them  _ now.” _

* * *

"I'm surprised to see you here, but happy," Leia hugged her brother, greeting him as he entered her office. He had only sent a cryptic announcement about visiting, which could only mean trouble. Ben.

She sighed as they sat on the couch and Luke wasted no time, "Have you felt anything from Ben, heard from him lately?"

Leia shook her head, "Nothing out of the ordinary. Just spikes every now and then, but never anything concerning. I still feel him. I would know if something happened."

She knew how desperate her voice sounded, but pushed forward - she  _ would  _ know. He was her son. Han had always scoffed at the Force’s powers, but he never argued with her when she thought Ben was in trouble. He did his best to help him secretly, even on the run - even without Ben knowing.

Luke opened his mouth when Threepio entered the room, "Mistress Organa, I am sorry to disturb, but there is a woman who is demanding to speak with you. She says it's about Master Ben."

She shared a look with her brother, whose lips drew down into a frown. "Very well, see her in then Threepio. And see that we are not disturbed."

Luke held his tongue, fearing the worst - it was no coincidence, what he had felt in the Force and this woman visiting.  Once again, he lamented that Ben had not kept in contact. If only to allay their fears.

The door slid open and a girl stepped in, barely twenty, as young as Leia had been when she took the mantle of a Rebellion leader. She stood tall, her armor an unfamiliar style, dark purple with a cape pinned across her shoulders. Threepio hadn't disarmed her he noted as he sensed more than one hidden weapon under the flowing fabric. 

He sensed concern, her nerves jumping out at him through the Force. Luke recognized immediately that it coursed within her, as strong as Ben’s ever was and he leaned forward with undue focus as she finally spoke.

"Thank you for seeing me, Senator," her voice was polite as she nodded to both of them in greeting. "Master Skywalker. I journeyed with Kylo Ren for a brief time, and three cycles ago he was taken by a group calling themselves the Acolytes of the Beyond."

She shouldn’t know of them, unless it was the truth - she knew Ben - the group had been obsessed with Vader and then Ben, once he left. His inability to control the darkness within him had left him a beacon for those who would use him for dark purposes.

Rey waited, watching as her words sunk in before continuing, "He said if I ever needed anything that I should find you both. We need to get him back."

Leia had tensed at mention of the Acolytes, as she knew of their existence as well - and their danger - but said nothing to Rey. The Senator turned to her brother, urged him, "I know what you will say, but we can't abandon him, whatever he's done. He’s my son - and he asked for help."

That isn’t quite what Rey had said, but her mind focused only on one thing.

"Whatever he's done?" Rey's voice was sharp at the insinuation that what the Acolytes had done was Kylo's fault - he had given himself over to them to protect her, despite spending nearly a decade running from them. "Kylo hasn't done anything  _ wrong." _

"He was always a troubled boy who turned into an angry young man. It was a matter of time before he capitulated to them," Luke said softly, regrettably. "It's the reason I'm here. I felt a dark presence in the Force a few cycles ago, I had hoped-"

"It's not  _ him _ ," Rey ground out, not understanding where her anger and defensiveness came from. But even the suggestion from his uncle that Kylo had turned - he hadn't even seen him in ten years. "I promise you, he did not turn."

Leia's eyes seemed to refocus on the woman, "How did you say you knew my son again?"

There was suspicion in her voice, but Rey didn't feel it was malicious. It was natural a mother would be suspicious of a stranger bearing messages of her lost son.

"He found me, wanted me to guide him to Jakku - to the Anchorites," Luke shifted uncomfortably at the mention of them. "We ended up in the Observatory and he gave himself up to them."

"Why?" Leia's voice was softer, sensing Rey's turbulent emotions and conflicted feelings.

"I was down there with him, but the Acolytes - they had no way of knowing I was with him still. He was protecting me."

Both of them shifted, looking at each other again in silent communication.

"Rey, I'd like you to stay while we discuss what to do. We'll talk in the morning," Leia's words were an invitation, but the tone was a command and Rey bristled at the expectation. It had already been many days since Kylo had been taken, and if Luke was right then each one was critical.

Threepio entered and offered to show her to her room and Rey nodded, turning to leave the Skywalker twins to deliberate.

* * *

The next morning she was up before any other sounds were heard in the apartments. She wore only her light clothing that went under her armor as she roamed the halls, lightsaber still clipped to her belt. She didn't know this place, and in her experience anything shiny was to be met with suspicion. It hid things.

She asked a droid for a suitable place to stretch and was directed to the training room. As she stepped inside, she was met with large padded floors and racks of weapons. Leia didn't seem the type to use this place, she wondered if anyone still did.

"It was for Ben," Luke's voice and presence surprised her as he walked the hall towards her. "When he would stay here, he would train. Always fighting some imaginary presence, ever angry."

Rey stiffened at his description of his nephew, the disappointment laced in his words, and he gave her a sad smile. "You think I'm unkind? To speak of my nephew this way?"

She said nothing as she closed the door to Ben's place, not wanting his uncle to step in and taint it. Somehow she knew that Kylo would hate it. If she ever got a chance to explain.

"Ben was always shrouded in shadows, we tried our best - my sister and Han. Trained him as best I could, but there was always something there, lurking." Luke sighed, as if it pained him deeply to recount. "But in the end, he fell as I had sensed he would."

"He fought against them -  _ ran  _ from them - for a decade. All because he didn’t want to be used that way. You didn't see him as I did," Rey's voice raised as her pleas became more passionate. "Fate isn't real, the Force doesn't have some big plan for him, he's not destined to be this great dark leader. That's not what he  _ wants _ . And he has proven that tenfold"

"For someone who just met him you seem to think you know a lot about him," Luke mused. Rey bristled at the patronizing words. “And his history.”

"I think I know a great deal more about who he is  _ now  _ than who you always saw him as."

Luke said nothing, then gestured towards her room. "You grabbed something in the Observatory, didn't you? What was it?"

Rey took a step back, surprised and unsure, "How did you know that?"

"I sensed it when you arrived. It is a dark thing, why did you take it?"

"I- I don't know, I just did," it was the truth, Rey truly had no idea why she had taken the artifact Tashu had been holding. Kylo had said not to touch anything, but there was  _ something  _ about it. She knew she was supposed to have it.

"And is that not its own form of fate, of guidance by the Force?" She knew this tone, it was the tone the Eremite had taken every day the voice taught her, a teacher. She pushed back, ignoring his suggestion. Focus on Kylo.

"Kylo is not fated to be dark, he spent a decade running from the destiny the Acolytes claimed he had - and  _ you  _ never even gave him a chance," Rey stalked around the circular rotunda, energy swelling as she argued on behalf of someone she barely knew. "If anyone is responsible for this situation, it's  _ you,  _ not Kylo."

"You seem to think you know what's going on, but you have no idea."

"Rey," Leia's voice drew her out of the standoff. "Would you like to dine in with me this morning?"

She looked pointedly at her brother, making it clear he was  _ not  _ invited. Rey took a deep breath and nodded, following her as they reached the dining room.

"Don't take his words to heart too much, dear. He is full of guilt over my son leaving," her voice was gentle, knowing. Comforting. "But let's not talk about that right now, please have a seat."

Rey took in the long table, bigger than she's ever seen - even in cantina's; this entire place was more elaborate than she had ever thought possible, and as Leia gestured to a chair on the corner near her, Rey was hesitant to even sit. Leia simply watched her patiently as she waved to Threepio, who brought out the serving plates.

Rey slid into the chair and as she settled in, Leia finally continued, "So where are you from, Rey?"

"Nowhere, really," she shrugged as she snatched a bread-like lump in front of her, pulling her leg up to her chest as her attention turned only to food and not to propriety.

"Everyone's from somewhere," the voice was quiet, but insistent as Leia began to pile food onto her own plate.

"Jakku, a few places there. My parents, then Unkar Plutt, then the Anchorites." It wasn't a source of pain for Rey, not anymore - but the tenseness in her shoulders seemed to stand out as arms pulled the bread apart.

Leia mulled over that, both of them eating in silence. "I've never been there myself, but many people sacrificed themselves to end the war there."

A sadness settled into the room and Rey stopped chewing to watch the older woman; Rey knew she must be, in part, talking about what Kylo had mentioned - the Contingency, the defections - and the massive ship battle and destruction that littered the sands. But it didn't explain the sadness - not truly.

"My son was born shortly after that," one of Leia's hands went to wrap around her stomach and Rey looked away, not wanting to intrude on a private moment. "Carrying him was one of the only times I felt so close to the Force my brother always spoke of, he was like a bright light I carried around with me."

Rey wrapped an arm around her leg, hugging it to her chest as she rested her head on the knee, watching Leia speak about the man who had upended her life not long ago. Light was not something she would ever have associated with him.

"I felt - there was always some dark presence that lingered, reached for him. I felt so protective. He  _ had  _ to be protected from it - and it seems I failed," Leia sighed and shook her head, bringing her back to the present and the food in front of them. "I'm sorry Rey, forgive an old woman her memories."

There was nothing to forgive and so Rey simply gave her a small smile as they went back to eating. She distracted Leia with stories of her on Jakku, innocent ones that gave away nothing of the pain and loneliness. Chasing banthas, the women who watched Rey with Unkar, even a little about her parents. The pain in Leia's eyes as she spoke about her son made the words flow, anything to remedy it was worth it.

Leia sipped on her drink, eyes running across the young woman’s hair and face. “You braid your hair.”

“Yes,” Rey was hesitant - she had never been asked about hairstyles before.

“I was raised in Alderaan, you know,” Leia continued, heedless of her companion’s confusion. “Long since destroyed, but the women - braids were an artform there. Each one had a meaning.”

Rey pulled the long simple braid in front of her, fingering it idly as she thought about the words, “Mine doesn’t have any meaning, it’s just - easier.”

“Perhaps one day, when we have time, I will teach you some,” Leia smiled and Rey nodded, wondering if they would ever meet again after she rescued her son. "And you left Jakku - what takes up your time now?"

"Odd jobs, I keep a ship and sometimes take on enforcement jobs, pleas really. Making sure people treat others…fairly," that was the most politic she could be, blood flushing her cheeks.

"You know, as a Senator I keep tabs on certain stories," Leia hummed thoughtfully as Rey stuffed her mouth with a new forkful of food. "The ones I'm always interested in are of someone they call  _ Scavenger." _

Rey coughed at the codename and Leia's eyes sparkled and sharpened, catching the scent.

"The interesting thing about this person is it is said they use a lightsaber of unusual design. A yellow one, but in staff form - double-sided. Curious don't you think?"

She swallowed as she processed just how to answer the question, "Kylo taught me about lightsabers - the colors, styles. They all mean something, something unique. I think he would be interested in discussing these reports once he is back with you.”

They finished their meal in silence, and it served its purpose - distracting Rey from her argument with Luke. She didn't recognize Leia's machinations beginning to turn as she watched the young woman.

* * *

After breakfast, Leia had new sets of clothes and undergarments delivered - appropriate for any climate she may face- which Rey eyed warily. Gifts usually came with strings. She tried not to let the bitter reality of her situation get to her, but the disappointment was strong. Kylo had told her they would help  _ her _ , but maybe he had been right to stay away for so long. His uncle didn't seem inclined to trust him at all.

But Leia had promised her any supplies and ship she needed in order to find her son, and Rey's chest ached for a mother's love like that again. It was hard not to believe in Leia’s desperation.

"Rey," Luke's voice called to her from the doorway and she stiffened. "Can we talk?"

Sighing, she gestured to the couches in the suite, not leaving the bedside as she continued throwing her things into the bag once more.

"I fear we got off on the wrong foot. My past with Ben is painful for me - I feel as if I failed him and took him away from his parents. He hasn't come home in years."

"That's because he was running from  _ them.  _ The Acolytes," Rey huffed. 

“He never lived up to the rigors of the Jedi religion. It snipped at his anger, his darkness. Stoked it,” his voice was weary, filled with none of the hope Leia had about her son.

Rey ignored him, switching on her datapad to scan for responses to the flags she had sent out for Kylo. Luke wouldn’t let it go - Ben’s fate - as if he knew something others didn’t.

“He came back once, a few years after he left. Needed help, the Acolytes had just begun their chase,” she stopped as the Jedi spoke slowly, lowering her hands and turning towards him with dread. “Ben was asleep, and I  _ had  _ to know. If it was a ruse - we hadn’t heard from him in years and he felt  _ different.” _

“What did you do?” Her voice was steady, but the anger was building as her mind raced.

“I read his thoughts,” Rey took a step towards him, fists clenching at the confession. He had been  _ asleep,  _ trusting his Uncle to help him - even after years. “All I felt was  _ malevolence.  _ I couldn’t stop myself - the lightsaber was in my hand without a thought.”

It was as if she had been doused in cold, cold water, her eyes narrowing. “And so he never trusted anyone again. Especially not himself.”

Rey laughed, bitterness wrapping around it as she tied her bag off and slipped it over her shoulder. “He is not  _ evil.  _ Whatever is wrong with him was stoked by  _ you.” _

Luke nodded, pensive. "I understand that you believe that to be true, but please believe me - there is a darkness in him, the anger wraps around him like a vice grip and neither I nor his parents have ever been able to teach him how to loosen its grip."

"Is that why you all talked around him when he was a child, about his anger and darkness - how did you expect him to ever trust himself when his own family didn't?" Rey felt the anger bubble up in her, that righteousness that had fueled her on all of her jobs - that centered her. A purpose she didn't understand, but embraced all the same. For this man she barely knew, yet knew so viscerally. He was the echo of her, of her pain and history - the same, but fractured.

Though she had been alone, abandoned by her family, she had been raised by people who hadn't feared what she was - or might be. They were at best indifferent, but she learned - was free to explore the knowledge given to her.

Kylo had been chastised for chasing the mysteries of history - and the darkness. And still he resisted.

"Rey, we have all made mistakes," The Jedi's words made sense on the surface, if he hadn't made it clear the entire time she's talked to him how little he thinks of his nephew's life on the run - or control.

"I'm bringing him back here," Rey reiterates slowly. It wasn't something directly promised to Leia, but whatever was happening with Kylo and the Acolytes had gone beyond his knowledge. They would need Luke's help, regardless of what Kylo thought. "Maybe you'll learn how wrong you’ve been, then."

Rey pulled out the holocron she had stolen out from her hiding spot and stuffed it into the bag. Luke was watching her with a solemn expression.

"You need to be careful with that thing," he nodded to her bag and she knew he was referring to the artifact. "It's energy is dark, and it most certainly will require something equally dark to open it."

"I can take care of myself, Jedi," the words were biting, but she didn't care as she tightened her belt and knife sheaths against her thigh.

"Yes," he drawled. "That's what I'm afraid of."

* * *

Days later, Rey finally landed on a small, dark planet named Mithru; she had never heard of it, but Leia assured her that a contact would meet her there. One of Han's friends, apparently, who might know something about where Kylo had been taken.

It was a planet far away from any sun, which left it dark and cold among the mountainous landscape. It was no wonder certain types liked to hide here, but it wasn't the bustling seediness of any planet or city she had ever been to. It was quiet, foreboding almost.

But she clipped on her cloak, shifting it to hide the lightsaber hilt in the small of her back as she moved across the metal plank into the building. Not even a droid had come to greet her, nor flag her ship as she arrived.

The door opened automatically as she walked towards it, presenting only a lift with one button. She never walked into a place without knowing exactly what to expect, but here she was.

"You're gonna owe me big, Kylo Ren," she muttered as she stepped onto the platform and hit the button with her fist. The door shut as the lift dropped down faster than she would have liked, forcing her to grip the railing on the side wall. It went on for nearly a full minute before it began to slow, rolling down and down until coming to a stop.

She expected to hear music, but the bar room was quiet as she stepped inside. This whole place was quiet and the hair on her neck seemed to prickle as she casually rested a hand on the knife at her side. The lightsaber resting against the curve of her back seemed to hum, as if sensing it might be needed soon.

The droid tending bar whirled, but she watched it as she moved to a booth in the corner, sliding in to begin her wait. She flipped the hood of her cape around her face to hide the way her eyes flickered around, catching at the slightest movements.

Hours later, nursing the only liquid courage she had allowed herself to indulge in, a woman with long hair of deep purple slid into the seat across from her. Rey wasn't familiar with this race of sentients, with light blue skin that made her golden eyes glow.

Markings covered her arms and neck and Rey's eyes narrowed as she took them in, feeling as if she knew what they were. She wished Kylo were here.

"What do you want?" her tone blasé and biting.

"Heard you're looking for someone, Rey of Jakku," the voice made her skin crawl, a high toned rasp that seemed out of place in the quiet of this planet.

"I'm just passing through, needed a few repairs," the lie slipped from her easily as she focused on reading the woman in front of her. There was no panic or tension, just a supreme focus on whatever agenda she had. Rey couldn't discern it and wished again with a pang that Kylo were here, or had spent more time teaching her this particular skill.

The woman gave her a lazy grin as she pressed her back into the corner of the booth and propped her legs on the table.

"The person you planned to meet with is not coming, so you may as well get your information from me. My name is Kiza."

Rey chewed her lip, sensing nothing but the truth in her words, "Why do you think I need information?"

"To get him back, of course," her hand waved in the air as if such paltry desires were beneath her, but Rey saw the flash of pain and anger in her golden eyes. "Lover-boy, in desperate need of a rescue from so many things. The Acolytes. Love. The Force. Destiny. And little Rey, all twisted up in his web."

They stared at each other, Rey sliding a knife out slowly, holding it close in her lap. Whoever this woman was, she had to be affiliated with the group who took Kylo. No one else would have known so much - or even who she was. How did they even know about her?

And then she remembered, "The Acolytes we fought. But we killed them all."

Teeth flashed, sharp and white, "Maybe that you saw, but we aren't where we are without back up plans. We were going to take you both, but then the  _ Jedi  _ had to go and sacrifice himself. Caused the entire shaft to cave in. Forced us to leave you."

Rey remembered his wild look when he thought she would follow him, the determination as he rose on the lift. The cave-in had been caused by him, to protect her. They had always known she was there.

The information rocked her.

"The man is boring, but necessary. He feels too much, trusts the Force too much. All that power, but none of the will to embrace it."

Rey couldn't stop the question, "Don't you worship the Force? The Sith? Isn’t the point to trust what it says?"

The woman let out a harsh laugh and spit on the ground, "The Force, bah. Too many people trust it. And Sith? You say the word with such disdain, but what do you truly know about them?"

The knife in Rey's grip turned over and over in her palm as she considered the woman's question. The only thing she knew about them was they were considered evil, the darker side of the Jedi - but Kylo had known their language. It was inscribed on the scabbard in her parent's home.

"I see the wheels turning," Kiza's words were eager, drawing on Rey's curiosity. "What the galaxy has branded the Sith may work for simpletons, the truth is much more potent - and complex."

She leaned in, words only for Rey's ears, despite the emptiness of the bar. "The Force is a river," her hands flowed, mimicking a water's path. "It sweeps up anything in its path to do its will. This is what some call fate."

The disdain for it was clear. "But the Acolytes took Kylo because it was his destiny - if you eschew fate, are you no better than those who allow the Force to guide them?"

"Those who wield the dark side are strong, they are the riverbreakers. They are not beholden to anyone but themselves.  _ Ben Solo  _ could have been the greatest there was, but he was weak. His belief too strong - or not strong enough."

_ Luke would have an interesting conversation with this woman,  _ Rey thought snidely. They both seemed to agree on Kylo's weakness, but for different reasons. Rey found herself again annoyed by this assumption and shifted in her seat before leaning in, elbows on the table.

"Then why take him? Why even take me?"

"Weak or not, he's still the only person who is capable of doing what we need. It will take some time," her fingers danced across the table in time with her words. Rey ignored them, never taking her eyes off Kiza's face. "But you - we did not expect. You were not foreseen in the river."

Rey huffed, thinking back to the cave on Jakku, to the Anchorites who had spent millennia protecting the Eremite for the time they would find someone like her. But they, too, had banked on both of them being there at the same time. Rey scowled again, thinking of their mysterious, mystical job no one seemed to know anything about.

"Ah see - you chafe against it as well," Kiza cooed. "I see how you itch for your own choices, to forge your own path away from the one set forth in front of you. You are a  _ riverbreaker  _ indeed."

The word was said with such reverence that Rey sat back in surprise, "You haven't answered my question - why take me, if you didn’t even know who I was?"

"Ben Solo has spent nearly ten years on his own, and for the first time we found him fighting alongside someone." Kiza shrugged in an overly-casual way that made Rey's eyes narrow, "We thought you would be able to persuade him."

"You would have lost that gambit," her voice was firm, no doubt in her mind.

"Truly?" Kiza's legs dropped to the floor with a thud and she slid to the edge of the booth. Standing up, she looked down at Rey, "Lover boy is on Khar Delba. And if you hurry, you might find him alive."

Rey pushed out of the booth, not bothering to watch her back as she walked away from the mysterious woman.

"Oh and Rey?" she cursed her curiosity as she turned to listen. "Be sure to ask him about the voice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed - let me know! @reylosource on tumblr/twitter ♥


	11. Chapter 11

The planet Kiza had mentioned was only a day's journey, but it was one Rey feared was too long - Kylo had talked as if they always intended to sacrifice him - why would they wait so long if they were just going to kill him? She tried to push the worries out of her head as she broke through the planet's atmo.

Another abandoned planet, but this time she felt the poignant unease slither around her. Darkness cocooned her with the icy chill and it had only been a few minutes. How had Kylo spent over a week here? It already clawed at her, the seductive tendrils trying to worm their way into her mind.

It was no wonder that this planet was where the Acolytes decided to gather. In the distance, she spotted the dark citadel that rose from the ground, a long abandoned stronghold of the Sith.

Rey found a safe-enough landing spot and set the ship on the ground, immediately activating the cloaking feature that had required her to use Leia’s ship. She didn't have to hide with hers usually.

Scanning the surrounding area for life forms came up empty, which concerned her, but ultimately Rey knew what she had to do.

Walking to the bunkroom, she settled onto the bed with her legs crossed and tried to channel the feeling that Kylo had attempted to teach her. A meditation that focused on being one with the Force, rather than the ritualistic fighting forms she typically employed to center herself.

This was about finding Kylo, not fighting - at least not yet.

Taking measured breaths, counting down from four in, exhaling out in a slow and regular motion; her air swaying like the tide through her nose and out her mouth. With each second, her mind became more disconnected from her body, and she felt the unnamed power flow through her.

She didn't have time to experience the wonder of it, simply channeled her energy on finding Kylo, her mind connecting with the living energy that covered even an abandoned planet like this one.

There, a faint pulse of light in the darkness, Rey knew without a doubt was Kylo - he lay in the direction of the citadel. Weak, but alive yet - she visualized wrapping a rope around his presence, tying it back to her as she reconnected with her body.

Rey gasped, sucking in the air as she finally returned, slumped over on the soft bed. It must have taken her hours, but she felt the thrum of his presence in the Force again - and knew where to go.

Rey disengaged the speeder from the ship, packing it with supplies just in case, before taking off in the direction of Kylo's Force signature. It was entirely possible that the Kiza woman was setting a trap for Rey, but it didn't matter in the end - she knew how to take care of herself. She couldn't wait for anyone else to arrive, his presence was weak enough as it was.

It was possible they were only keeping him alive until she got there. The thought made her grip the handles even harder, hand sliding around them.

As she sped closer to the center of him, citadel looming tall against the horizon, the darker the world seemed to get; the feelings she had experienced as she landed were magnified, feeding the anger inside of her. Anger that she had been forced into this situation by the powers that be - the Eremite, Luke, Leia, Kylo, the Anchorites - even her parents. Especially her parents, for leaving her alone with no one to protect her. They hadn't known about the Anchorites, only left her with Plutt to some scavenger's life.

As the word  _ Scavenger  _ hit her it was as if her mind cleared, remembering the way Kylo called her that - with disdain then something else entirely. It was the way his voice said her name that kept her focused in the miasma, until she saw it - there was no question - dark spires shooting up from the ground, signaling which tower he was in.

The entrance was caved in, but there was an opening in the rockface and only one sentient being pulsed there.

Kylo.

Rey parked the speeder in front of the opening and hopped to the ground, feet kicking up dirt from the impact. Despite the silence both physically and in the Force, she pulled her lightsaber out of its holster, thumb sliding over the activator. Just waiting. Just in case.

Her footsteps were silent, the emptiness of the world threatening to consume her - why would anyone wish this on the galaxy?

The moment she walked into the entryway, all she felt was death; three bodies sat at the entrance, dead by some unknown violence, eyes vacant. With growing dread, she walked further into the darkness until she saw a spike in the ground with chains beside it - and Kylo.

She ran towards him, nearly tripping on yet another body, sliding on her knees as she rushed to check him. His face was gaunt, paler than usual, blood drying on his mouth and nose. Covered in dirt and with a pulse so weak she could barely feel it, forced to press her ear against his chest to hear the slow thud of his heart.

Her hands framed his ice-cold face, shaking him slightly, "Kylo, wake up!"

It was futile, she knew this, whatever had happened to him had drained him of everything - his physical and mental energy was gone, a faint whisper only.

Her hands rested against his chest as she caught her breath, eyes darting around for some explanation - and landing on the charred body of some alien. Crawling over to it, she inspected the wounds that looked very much like marks left by fire - but it was as if the life force had been drained and left him burned and wrinkled. Rey had never seen or heard of anything like this, but she pushed that away when she saw Kylo's lightsaber in the Acolyte's hand.

_ What did they do to you, Kylo? _

She slid it into the holster on his belt and stood up, her arms wrapping underneath his as she attempted to pull him to the speeder, grunting as he moved barely an inch.

"You are never living this down," she muttered as she finally let go, already exhausted at the attempts. Knowing what she had to do, she let go and closed her eyes, focusing on his body. It lifted into the air and Rey walked with it until maneuvering him gently into the speeder.

He hadn't so much as moved an inch on his own other than the faint rise and fall of his chest.

* * *

The speeder skid into the ship's hangar and Rey leapt out before it even stopped, jamming the button to pull the ramp up as she jumped into the pilot's seat. She was in the air and off planet barely two minutes later, the pressure on her chest beginning to lighten the further away from the planet's core she got.

Punching in the coordinates for Chandrila, the ship launched into hyperspace and Rey felt as if she could finally breathe again. Her hand slipped into her bag and pulled out a transmitter programmed to reach Leia - and only Leia - signaling for a call as she walked over to Kylo's unconscious body.

His pulse was still weak, but Rey could feel his Force signature strengthening - although whether it was a sign of him getting better, or just being off that planet, she couldn't be sure.

"Rey, are you okay?" Leia's voice buzzed out of the commlink.

"I have Kylo - he's in bad shape, he looks weak. I can barely feel him in the Force," Rey squatted down to feel his forehead, cool and sweaty to the touch. Bacta wasn't going to solve whatever was wrong with him.

"Bring him to Luke's temple, I will give you directions and meet you there with a medical team. How far out are you?" Gone was the concerned mother, the words were all business - commanding and practical. Rey began to understand how different she was from Luke - and how similar she was to Kylo.

He would absolutely hate the comparison.

Rey made a mental note to share it with him when he felt better. A simple thing, but it gave her something to hold on to - look forward to. He had to get better, if only so she could annoy him again.

"A standard day, maybe."

"We'll be ready. Take care of him for me," Leia cut the transmission before Rey could respond, and she set the commlink on the seat as she lifted Kylo once more, carrying him to her bunk.

His lips were cracked - a sure sign of dehydration, and wondered again why the Acolytes would go through all of this just to starve him and then let him be rescued. They had chased him for years, only to finally let him go after only ten days. Something wasn't right, and as she ran a piece of cloth under the running water, the nerves she had felt on that planet surged anew.

She set a cup and the wet rag on the edge of the bed, lifting Kylo's upper body up to rest against hers. Brushing his hair back, she pressed the cloth against his lips, droplets of water slowly being soaked into his skin. Rey cleaned his face of the sweat, sliding it across his forehead and cheeks, noting the small moles that dotted his face.

She had never been close enough to really look at them, or perhaps it was a deeper hesitancy - he was so observant, so strong in his ability with the Force that there was no way he wouldn't have noticed her inspection of him.

Undoubtedly, he would have thought her gaze calculating rather than filled with the curiosity that drove her now.

Maybe he would have been right, but in this moment she simply appreciated the softness of his features, the full lips that so often were twisted in derision.

Her arms wrapped around his chest as she ran her fingers through his hair, dirt and oil from nearly ten days coating the strands. Fingers untangled one knot at a time, the methodical motion soothing her wild and wandering mind.

They were both alike, each of them running from something - real or imagined, searching for some kind of purpose. He had found his in the search for the truth, as he called it - the Force, the teachings and failures of the Jedi; where did it go wrong, he had told her one night - that was the question he had never found an answer for.

Rey supposed it made sense that he would find his purpose in the Force; his entire life had been wrapped up in it one way or another - generations of his family, even. Kylo had found comfort in the totality of fate and the grand design, even if he sometimes rebelled against it.

But to her it was a concept that had only ever brought her pain. No prophecy would bring her parents back, nothing would - they had chosen to leave her, alone and abandoned on Jakku.

Fate was cold comfort to her. She refused to believe she had no control over her own life, that everything was predetermined - and in that, perhaps the Acolyte's words had some truth to them. What had the Eremite called her? Her fingers paused in their detangling.

The memory was on the edge of her consciousness, but she couldn't grasp it.

She picked up the cup of water and tipped Kylo's head back, pulling his mouth open slightly as she poured a little into it. His throat very subtly contracted and Rey let out a haggard sigh of relief as she made him drink more.

Once the cup was empty, she shifted so his head rested in her lap, a hand on his chest to reassure her he was still breathing as she leaned against the wall to rest.

* * *

Just under a cycle later, Kylo still unconscious in her bunk, Rey landed at Luke's temple. She wasn't sure what to expect, the only knowledge she had of this place was what Kylo had told her - but as she stepped off the ramp Leia's medical team rushed in and she didn't have time to be anxious about it.

Leia was standing there with a pensive look as Rey walked over to her, trying to leave the team to do their jobs inside.

"He's not any worse than when I found him," she said quietly, trying to allay the mother's fears.

"But not any better."

There wasn't much to say to that, so Rey kept quiet. The team came out of the ship with a holoscreen that covered Kylo's face that Rey couldn't understand and they followed them inside the temple.

It was not what she expected. Clean, polished marble the color of the sky before a storm - lights lined the corners and the hall opened into a large, circular courtyard. Lush and green - the kind of place Rey would have cherished as a child. Kylo was moved into a room they couldn't enter and Leia gestured to sit with her on the half-wall that framed the courtyard.

"He'll be okay," Leia said as she held Rey's hand. She wasn't sure why the woman was comforting her, but perhaps it made Leia feel better and so said nothing.

"I shouldn't have let him leave without me," the words were whispered with an ache that Rey hadn't expected.

"From what you told me, he didn't leave you with much of a choice. That's how he always was," it was the truth, but it didn't make Rey feel any better - she couldn't shake the idea that some part of her had wanted to stay behind. To stay frozen under his spell. "For all of his studies and drive to learn more, Ben always seemed to be driven by emotion - and not great with talking about them. Gets that from his parents. Both of us."

The Senator nudged her shoulder into Rey as if sharing some conspiratorial gossip, which made her smile; she had never really had anyone talk to her without strings before.

"His decision to leave me wasn't driven by emotion, though - it was the logical decision," Rey said firmly as she looked at Leia in confusion.

Leia hummed at that suggestion, "Wasn't it though?"

The two of them sat in silence then, both women deep in thought.

* * *

"Leia. Rey." Luke's voice made them both shift awake, still in the same place as before - but the sky was darkening, hours later.

Luke looked haggard, more so than before - and he was leaving the room where they had taken Kylo.

"You've seen him? How is he?" Rey surprised herself with the urgency, asking questions before even his own mother. She hadn't realized how concerned she was.

"He was severely dehydrated, but his body will heal in time." He seemed to be sharing a moment with his sister, because she stood up and walked past him and into the room without saying a word.

"Whatever happened, there's something else wrong - you weren't there. That entire place was steeped in something that ripped at my mind, something malevolent," Rey confessed - she hadn't shared that with Leia, but it was why Luke had to be here.

Whatever she thought about what happened between him and Kylo, he knew the most about the Force and what might be happening.

"Yes," he took Leia's place next to her, sitting with a heavy sigh. Pushing his hands into his sleeves, he continued, "His mind - it's fractured. Torn in a way I've never seen it; he's always had frayed edges - but this is something different."

"Will it - get better?" Fear crept into her body at the thought that he may have suffered irreparable harm because she hadn't fought him hard enough in the Observatory.

"In time, perhaps. His body must heal first, and then we'll see." He stood up, "Come, you need to eat - I've had them prepare a room for you."

Rey didn't want to argue, but she kept glancing at the door Leia had entered, Luke's warnings running through her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed - let me know! @reylosource on tumblr/twitter ♥


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I commissioned the lovely Jabberwockyface to draw a scene from this story (from chapter five) - hope you like it! She was great, her info: https://jabberwockyface.tumblr.com/

_ _

_ She stood at the edge of a cliff overlooking a dense forest, listening to the rush of water from the river beside her. _

_ A waterfall, he had said - she had never seen one before. Arms wrapped around her shoulders as the man stepped up behind her. _

_ "Do you like it?" his voice was hesitant, unsure. _

_ "It's beautiful, Ben." She had never used his old name before, but in this place it felt right. Perfect. Unfettered from the chains of destinies and prophecies, they were embraced for what they really were. _

_ He walked around, standing in front of her, on the edge of the waterfall; it should have made her nervous, but she felt no fear. _

_ "It could be like this forever, Rey - I'm so tired of fighting it. Let's just go," he implored her, gripping her hands with an urgency that made her face fall in confusion. Fighting what? Everything was perfect here - she never had to worry again, and she had Ben. _

_ "Ben, you need to come back. Please. Whatever happened - we'll deal with it. I won't let them hurt you again," the words slipped out without warning, and the dreamscape seemed to rip and pull as Rey urged him. _

_ "It's not safe, Rey -" at that, he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. Brief. "Something to hold on to." _

_ Rey was shocked into stillness and could barely process the words before he turned and dove off the cliff, headed for the water below. _

_ "BEN!" _

* * *

"BEN!" The spike of fear and adrenaline ripped her awake as she pushed her torso off of Kylo's bed. It had been two days with no change and the fear had begun to gnaw at her, the sting of guilt palpable. More than once she had fallen asleep next to him on accident, but this was the first time she had dreamed of him.

Rey rubbed her eyes as she sat back in the chair, wondering if she could scrounge some food from the kitchens at this hour. She looked towards the door and jolted back into the seat as she finally noticed Luke's presence.

"How long have you been there?" her tone was defensive, accusatory - had he seen her sleeping? Heard her dream?

"Not long," he said easily, his face placid, giving nothing away. He was dressed in his brown and tan outfit that she had always seen him in - all of them here, as if color was somehow offensive to them - or the Force. Luke walked closer to Kylo and stared at him for so long, Rey wondered if she should give him some privacy.

As she moved to get up, he gestured for her to sit.

"The med droid informed me that his vitals are stabilizing, but I worry about his mind - his presence in the Force is weak," Rey already knew all this, but sensed he was getting to the point the long way around. "I've been doing some reading and I believe Ben went into a hibernation trance to protect himself."

That was not something she was familiar with - nor Luke, apparently, based on his comments. How did Kylo know of it, then?

"Ben was always a voracious learner, it does not surprise me that he would have continued that even after he left here," Luke answered her unasked question and she shifted. "It is a meditative state - Force power, if you will - that slows one's body to preserve energy. Or in Ben's case, nutrients and water - he knew he was weak and shut his body down to buy more time."

Rey stared at Kylo's face, holding back the urge to brush his hair back; he had hoped that someone would find him, then.

"So if his body is recovered, why hasn't he come back?"

"Whatever happened to his mind, I suspect. I haven't been able to make contact with him at all, despite many attempts; it's likely that our past has made him reluctant to reach me." Luke stared at her, this stranger who had found so hard to bring his nephew home - it was a long shot, but she was clearly connected to Ben in some way. "I was hoping you might give it a try."

Rey laughed, feeling a twinge of awkwardness - why was everyone trying to force them together in some way?

"I don't think I would be any more successful than you," she hedged as he refused to let her eyes leave his. Rey was beginning to see how unnerving a Jedi's focus on you could be.

"You haven't had any contact with him at all? No dreams?" Rey paled as she realized that their dreams may have been Kylo's consciousness reaching out to hers. Luke saw the change in her body and nodded, "I will help you."

And he did, guiding her to take Kylo's hand - bare, despite her protests that he would want them gloved - as he walked her backwards in meditation. She would need to find Kylo once her consciousness connected with his, and convince him it was safe to return.

How she was going to do that, Rey had absolutely no idea.

All sense of time was lost, her breathing the only thing she focused on - just as Kylo had taught her, pushing Luke's voice out of her mind. She squeezed his hand, hoping he could feel her wherever he was.

_ Rey. _

His voice surprised her and she felt herself smile in response.

_ Kylo. I found you. _

_ You need to leave, Rey.  _ His voice seemed both far away and right beside her, a desperate urgency she couldn't fathom.

_ Why? You're safe, I brought you to Luke - your mother is here, and your father - soon - _

Panic was all she felt at first, then,  _ I don't trust myself around you - they did something to me. _

Rey suspected as much, but it didn't change anything.  _ Kylo, I trust you - we can't help you unless you come back. Whatever you're scared of, I'm sure Luke and I can handle it. We can fix it. _

Kylo hesitated, longing for the quiet bliss of his dreams, but he remembered the elation he felt as he fought with her - Rey. She was so powerful, perhaps she could-

_ No. _

_ Kylo, please. You can't let them win. Come back to us.  _ To me. But she didn't say that, such sentiments were dangerous - complicated. Rey remembered the way the Eremite looked at her with pity when she asked what her role was in all of this. Kylo had left the cave in a rage and hadn't seen, but Rey understood - a little, anyway. She wouldn't make it out of this alive if the Force had anything to say about it.

The desperation in her voice made Kylo pause, wondering if she had felt the kiss he dreamed of - but that was impossible. He pulled away from the connection, diving deeper into the black pool, contemplating.

Rey opened her eyes, immediately finding Luke's and looking away. She felt a wetness on her face that she knew had to be tears. Saying nothing, she stood and stalked out of the room - leaving Kylo to his own devices.

She hadn't spent much time investigating the temple Luke had built up after the Empire fell, spending most of her time in or near Kylo's room. She expected to see and feel more Force users, but all she found were beings of various sizes who seemed to filter in and out all day. Leia had explained, briefly, that Luke had only ever trained Ben - the rest of his time was spent with followers of the Church of the Force. They helped gather Jedi annals and artifacts scattered after the purge.

It was odd to have people who worshipped force users around her, they demurred and bowed slightly as she walked through the halls and through the courtyard. It was hard not to draw connections between them and the Acolytes.

Room after room was filled with datapads, scrolls, books - handwritten, some of them.

A leather-bound journal sat alone on the desk inside one of them and Rey couldn't stop her hands from snatching it up, wondering why someone would just leave it out like that. It had a coating of dust on it that she wiped off with her shirt as she sat on top of the desk, back braced against the wall.

_ Jedi teachings suggest that one's passions are an enemy that one must fight and control, if not eradicate. As if we are not ourselves capable of choosing when to be driven by them and when not - if the Force is made of all living things, an energy we cannot escape or divide from ourselves, why must we eschew such a basic tenant of sentience? That is, to care about something other than oneself - or the Force. _

Each page was filled with contemplations, debates on long-accepted philosophies; Rey lacked the body of body of knowledge it was referring to, but the musings resonated with her. Even the elegant scrawl of handwriting on the pages pulled her towards it, her fingers lightly running down each page as if she could feel the indentations and be closer to the author. Probably some long-dead Jedi.

The words reminded her of one of Luke's chastisements of Kylo - that he was ruled too often by emotion, and wondered what the author of this journal would say to that. Was it a bad thing, truly?

The fear on Kylo's face from their shared dream made her pause. Maybe it was.

It kept him from coming back to the world, he didn't trust himself - or them. What had happened with the Acolytes? So many questions that can't - won't - be answered if he stayed this way. Her feelings of shame had whisked away in the past hours and she left the room to hunt for food, tucking the journal behind her back, using the looseness of her shirt to hide it from prying eyes.

* * *

When she entered his room again, Rey let out a relieved sigh that Luke had left - leaving Kylo alone. Leia was busy with whatever Senators did, waiting for her husband to return - Rey got the impression she was not one for idleness, even if it was her son who was lying unconscious in the bed.

Rey dragged the chair closer to the end of the bed and propped her feet on it as she opened the journal to continue reading, tearing off bits from the loaf of bread she had snatched from the kitchen.

_ Scavenger,  _ she heard it in his voice and smiled sadly.

* * *

There was nothing but darkness around him, an echo of the dreams that had always plagued him; but there was no light here, no way out. He had submitted, snuffed it out - even if just for a moment, and for his survival. Luke had been right all along - everyone had; he was always meant to turn.

Rey had seemed so sure, so desperate for him to listen to her - but she didn't know, hadn't realized what had happened with the Acolytes. There was no way she'd ever look at him the same way - ever trust him enough, the way she had. He remembered her surprise when he kissed her and the dreamworld pulsed in response to his shame.

It hadn't been planned, but all he could think of in that moment was how unlikely it was that he would ever see her again.

The thought haunted him.

There was something about her, the reckless ferocity, the unfettered way she lived her life. Even when he had left and made his own way, Kylo had always been running from something. For Rey, it seemed like she had always been running toward it, head-first.

He didn't understand what drew him to her, but something was there. And Kylo had always been too curious for his own good.

_ Rey,  _ he called out in the darkness of the dream, hoping she would hear.  _ I'm sorry. _

Nothing happened for a long time, until a hand touched his as he laid on the ground. A jolt pulled him forward and up into a light so blinding he had to shield his eyes.

He was thrown back into his body, immediately feeling the cold air of nighttime even under the blankets. The surroundings were all too familiar - the room that had been his so long ago; eyes drifted towards the window he had shattered in his anger and frustration.

There was a cup of water on his bedside table and he pushed up, downing it all. He had clearly been taken care of after the rescue, but the act of drinking on his own was surprisingly pleasing.

His feet hit the floor and before he stood up he realized someone was there, curled up with her head on the end of his bed. Rey, with her brown hair braided back, in unfamiliar clothes - but still her. In her lap was a book that made him smile and he slipped off the bed, kneeling in front of her.

All Kylo wanted was to watch her sleeping peacefully, but she would be upset if he left her to wake up and find him gone. He set his hands on her knees and shook them slightly.

"Rey, wake up." It didn't take long for her eyes to open, hazy and unseeing as she sat upright in the chair; Kylo waited until she seemed to register his presence - and that it wasn't another dream.

"Hi," he said simply as a hand raised to brush back tendrils of hair that had stuck to her face in sleep. Rey said nothing and he just stayed there, watching for long minutes. "I'm sorry."

Her face pulled in confusion, "For which part?"

"That's fair," he smiled sadly. He had unwittingly dragged her to Jakku and set her on a path she clearly didn't want, and was too good of a person to let him die at the hands of the Acolytes. "For all of it - I'm sorry. Thank you, for rescuing me."

Silence dragged on as they regarded each other and Kylo came to a decision. Rey watched him stand up finally, watched as his emotions were wiped from his face in the blink of an eye, "I'm alright now - my mother will see to it that you're well compensated for all the trouble I've caused you. You have my personal code should you ever need anything from me."

He didn't catch her stunned face morph into anger as he walked towards the door, but he couldn't ignore her hands as they shoved his back - not hard, but enough to make a point.

"You stupid arrogant  _ snob." _

She felt his anger grab hold before he turned to look at her, the warmth they had shared before gone, "Excuse me?"

"You! And your assumptions - you  _ didn't  _ drag me anywhere. You were a cocky bastard, but I still agreed to everything we did. I  _ chose  _ it," Rey was furious and Kylo's anger gave way to confusion. And it hit her that perhaps the concept of choice - of choosing to follow - was one that he had never entertained. Her voice softened, "Kylo, you don't need to pay me for my 'troubles'. We're friends."

Kylo turned that word over and over in his mind, tasting it; surely he had friends before, right? The longer it went on, the silence, the more Rey questioned that - but then she turned the question inward.

Had  _ she  _ ever even had a friend before? Contacts, sure - people she had helped, of course.

"Then does my  _ friend  _ know if they still make food around here?" Kylo interrupted her musings with a soft look, the brief anger gone from his demeanor - his mercurial moods seem to be infecting her more and more. But Rey grinned nevertheless, taking his proffered hand and escorted him to the kitchens.

If anyone seemed surprised to see the previously comatose patient up and smiling, they didn't say anything.

* * *

Despite the med droids saying he was back at optimal health, his body still tired easily and he found himself bedridden again, sitting up against the wall as he watched Rey read. His journal - not that Kylo had told her it was his. He had forgotten about the book that held so many teenage musings, evidence of his early attempts to work out what exactly he was supposed to  _ be. _

_ You know what you're supposed to be, Kylo Ren. _

_ Go away!  _ The voice had become more insistent in the past days, since he had pulled on the power offered in order to save himself with the Acolytes.

That's all it had been - the darkness had receded once he returned from hibernation, although Luke still deemed his mind too fragile. Kylo hadn't argued, for once. The pool of darkness at the edge of the waterfall was more tempting than ever, and he still remembered the absolute bliss he felt when he had succumbed finally.

But perhaps that had been Rey's presence more than anything else.

True to her word, she had stuck by him, escorting him back and forth, keeping his mind and body distracted while it healed. She understood the supreme difficulty he had with keeping still, even in his weakened state.

Today he was expecting a far worse challenge than the one the Acolytes presented - his parents were visiting.

"Leia was here the first few days," Rey said in her defense, but all Kylo could do was roll his eyes.

"That's about as much as I expect from her until she goes back to trying to govern the Galaxy," he muttered as his eyes shut, head pressing against the wall. Kylo sensed her unease with his bitterness and sent a gentle test nudge at her presence.

He had kept his use of the Force the past week at a minimum, only using it for basic things - and conversations with Rey when she was finally kicked out by med droids and Luke.

_ We need to ask Luke about your parents soon,  _ he told her silently as she read yet another book he had recommended - this one on combat techniques. Every time he had suggested bringing up the Observatory with Luke, Rey avoided and dropped the subject.

_ Whatever we find out, I'll help you. Friends, remember?  _ He watched as she attempted a scowl, purposefully avoiding his face until it morphed into an indulgent smile when she lifted her head.

_ Friends. _

"Well this is cozy," Kylo's face froze as his father's gravelly voice spoke into the silence. He watched as the pilot's eyes took in Rey who was currently sitting in the chair along the edge of the bed facing Kylo, and his son's soft smile as he watched the woman read.

"Han - this is Rey. Rey, meet my father -"

"Han Solo!" Rey's eagerness made Kylo groan internally, taking a deep breath. She had been excited to meet the notorious smuggler and pilot, even if she hadn't brought it up too often.

"Don't forget me, Benny-boy," Kylo's fists clenched as he heard the voice of his parent's golden boy. Poe Dameron.

"What are you doing here, Poe?"

Rey casually looked over at him, but he felt her question his coolness at the appearance of his childhood  _ friend. _

"Don't start, Ben - we're just back from another route check-up, came straight here." Kylo's eyes narrowed as he took in his dad's hand waving, ignoring the issues he had with Poe.

Who had now turned his charms onto Rey, an alluring grin and a low comment and introduction and Kylo's mood darkened when he saw her return the smile and even laughter.

"Guess those two will keep busy," his dad grumbled as he slumped into Rey's chair, dropping the book on the floor.

"Hey Han, I'm going to take Rey to look at the ship - might be looking at a new crew member here!" Kylo shifted up against the wall again, feeling Rey's eyes on him. He said nothing, and when he finally looked at her she was leaving the room right behind Poe, chattering excitedly about flight simulators.

"Take it easy, kid, women don't like the jealous types," it annoyed him how easily read he could be - or maybe it was just Han's way.

"I'm not jealous, I'm annoyed. See how you like being bedridden for over a week," he grumbled and as he finally looked at his dad they shared a gruff grunt.

"Leia tells me you've been on the run from these guys for years, why'd they finally catch you now?"

Kylo's mood darkened at the implied chastisement, "They tracked me somehow. Caught me off guard on Jakku."

He wouldn't admit to being manipulated by the voice, certainly not to Han - who had always been the most suspicious and wary of his son's possible tendencies. If anyone knew about the voice - what he had done to those Acolytes - what he was like when he gave in-

He shook his head, "They had us trapped, I left Rey there and gave myself up."

Han hummed slightly, once again reading far too much into his words.

"Not like you," was all he said - but the implication was clear. Kylo was a selfish child.

_ Arrogant snob,  _ Rey had said.

"Well I guess things change after a decade," Kylo drawled.

A few minutes of silence followed until Han spoke again, "Or sometimes someone comes along and pushes you into a garbage chute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Let me know if you enjoyed it! =)
> 
> Twitter @reylosource  
> Tumblr @reylosource


	13. Chapter 13

Kylo knelt in the corner of the training room, watching as Rey went through her form routine; sometimes he would join her, others he'd just watch the way she moved. Her body flowed like water from one stance to the next, breaths controlled, yet loose. It was entirely opposite of everything he had ever been like - as a student and beyond.

In the past week, they had built up a routine, his muscles returning - aching each evening. He was still disconnected from the Force - by choice, for once heeding Luke's warnings. Even Rey sensed the conflict that had grown since his time with the Acolytes.

Still, she let him be - she didn't look at him with fear, simply showed up each day at his door ready to begin again.

They exchanged knowledge and training - Kylo was eager to hear what the Eremite had taught her, and he suggested books and holos to devour each day. They fed off of each other's curiosity and passion - and as he watched her braid whip around as her routine increased in pace, he lingered on the defined muscles in her arms.

"I can feel you watching me," she called out through controlled breaths and he stood, casually shifting his lightsaber in his hand.

"Just evaluating," was all he said and he could feel her huff at the blatant lie - or arrogance. Kylo really  _ was  _ evaluating her. "Did you watch the holo on saber staff fighting?"

Rey finally gave up the pretense of concentration and deactivated her saber as she stopped moving, "Of course I did."

"Then why are your movements still wrong?"

"Are you an expert on staff fighting now?"

"I am when you need me to be," he replied simply. Kylo had spent years learning and training on his own and craved the balance he found with Rey - he learned what she learned. They improved each other's understanding of the Force.

She huffed and gave him an exasperated glance, a slight sheen across her exposed skin - arms, shoulders, calves. Their training clothes were loose and tempting, though they had no right to be.

"Here," he set his lightsaber on the ground and walked towards her, placing his hands on her hips, shifting them slightly before moving to her feet. "You're quick, faster than me - your advantage is two-fold with a saber staff. You both extend your reach and the speed of your attacks."

"And this stance is supposed to do what?" gone was her defensive and cautious tone, slipping into the curious student. Kylo wondered if Luke had ever taken students, would she have been  _ his  _ Padawan?

As if they needed any more complications between them.

"Both of those things require more balance than traditional forms. Footwork is even more critical,” he paused, the next words reluctant. “We should consider dancing."

Rey sputtered into laughter, "Excuse me? Why dancing?"

His lips pulled slightly in thought as he circled to watch her face as a hand slipped around her waist, taking her in his. He didn't miss how her body leaned towards him when she tilted her face, a soft expression meeting his own intense stare.

"It helps with footwork, I've read," he murmured in a low voice as she edged closer to him.

"Care to share where you read that?" Kylo froze as she began to lift up on her toes, stretching towards him, eyes on his lips. He pulled away, hands dropping to his side.

"It doesn't matter - we should spar, are you warmed up?"

He heard a heavy sigh as he turned his back to her, picking up his lightsaber once more. It was for the best, at this point he trusted nothing that his instincts told him - he had been manipulated before. And more than once the voice that haunted him - and the Acolytes - had expressed an interest in being close to Rey in a way he couldn't allow.

Kylo felt her decision before she moved and twisted around, activating his lightsaber as he connected with hers, pleased by her aggressiveness as always. Her breathing was still controlled as they traded blows, but he knew her style by now - soon she would dip into the ferocity that was so alluring.

Then she would scream, grunt, and her fluid motions would become slashes and jabs.

His brawling style was well-matched with hers, but the emptiness of fighting without the Force was palpable. Rey feinted low before twisting the top half down against his shoulder and he gasped in surprise - and pain - as the burn singed his skin.

Her pleasure was quickly replaced with concern, but he was not one to stop a fight and continued the assault, pushing against her with renewed fervor. He kept distance from her, cutting broad strokes she couldn't match with her reach.

Kylo watched her begin to falter, feet staggering at some unseen pressure - surely she wasn't tired yet.

_ She is a prize to be won, look at how well she compliments us, Kylo Ren. Even now you corrupt her, steal her light. Complete the transition and  _ take her.

He screamed in pain, fist clenching as his lightsaber clattered to the floor; a searing pain arced through his body as the dark pressure turned inward. It felt as it did in the cave with the Acolytes, when the miasma had attempted its possession.

Falling to his knees, he held his head as he tried to focus on anything but the presence inside of him.

Vaguely he heard a voice calling to him, saying his name, but his focus was all inward.

Rey was finally released of the invisible hold as Kylo collapsed to his knees. Running towards him, she felt nothing but agony and darkness swirling around him. She knelt in front of him, hands covering his own as he panted, pain lacing through her body through their physical connection.

He stared at her wildly, straight through - unable to focus on anything, but the desperation tore at her.

Without any further thought, she pulled his lips to hers, surging into a kiss she had dreamed of for weeks. His screams fell quiet as her tongue softly ran against his mouth, pressing her lips against his over and over until finally his body relaxed and Rey nearly sobbed as his arms went around her, pulling her tighter against him.

Mouths open in a slow dance, her tongue diving into his. Rey felt his darkness lapping around her consciousness, flowing around them, driving her deeper into the embrace as if somehow she could heal him, take it away. Share whatever burdened him.

Her hands pulled at his neck and hair, teeth nipping at her lips, dragging her bottom one with a snarl. Whatever energy was between them, she drank deeper and deeper, his hands sliding along her spine.

The blind panic and pain that had frozen him seemed all but gone as Rey kissed him, welcoming his rough edges that seemed to soother her own, slotting against each other. Their bodies reacted to each other and she felt him against her thigh and gasped in feral need.

She moved to climb into his lap and as his erection touched her center Rey was blasted back with an explosion of power.

"No!" Kylo panted, wild eyes returned as her body landed with a hard thud against the wall. Rey pushed off the ground, standing there with utter incomprehension.

They stared at each other as he stood slowly, breaths deepening with each passing second. Rey watched as his presence shifted from wild to exhausted, and whatever dark energy existed before was gone.

Cautiously, she stepped towards him, but he threw his hands up, "No, please Rey - don't come any closer. Not yet."

Before she could argue, the door to the training room opened and Luke stood there with a grave expression, "I think you both better come with me."

* * *

Kylo followed her at a safe distance as she walked beside Luke, his mind reeling and still on the edge. He had always had control issues, but never like that - everything felt wrong.

Except for her. Rey had never felt more right than when her lips pressed against his and he drowned in it, welcoming it, consuming her. It was every bad dream he had ever had come to fruition - a bright light snuffed out by his selfishness.

Rey looked back at him before she ducked into Luke's study, eyes wide and concerned.

Without fanfare, they sat down, Luke studying them both, "I believe it's time to tell me who you are, Rey."

Kylo looked at him in surprise, not expecting that to be the initial question - his face turned to her, watching as she tensed up, ready to spring forward and fight if needed.

"What does it matter?"

"You know why I'm asking," she did, they both did - Kylo held her gaze, letting her know he would tell Luke if she wanted - if it was easier. A small shake of her head was all he got in response.

"My parents were the ones who fought Tashu during the Battle of Jakku. They left me there when I was five years old."

She spoke cooly, but Kylo sensed her discomfort as Luke studied her.

"I see," was all he said as he finally sat in his chair, hand rubbing his bearded cheek, lost in thought.

"One of the last things I remember was my father telling me I was Jensaarai - Kylo told me what it meant, but neither of us know who they are."

That was enough to snap Luke out of his memories, "They appeared out of nowhere one day, shortly after Tashu and a small group of followers escaped Imperial custody here on Chandrila. Shortly before you were born, Ben."

Kylo shifted, leaning in at this news - why had it been kept secret?

"Before their appearance, knowledge of the Acolytes was non-existent. They explained they would need to escort the pilot Wexley when the mission to Jakku took place." Luke heaved a great sigh as he pulled out a small chip, a memory card, "They left this in my care, that I would know what to do with it when the time came."

He handed it to Rey and she snatched it out of his hand, turning it over and over as if it held the secrets of the galaxy - and for her, perhaps it did.

"How did they know about the mission?" Kylo asked, giving Rey time to just listen and process.

"I didn't even know about it - nobody did, Rax hadn't put it into motion and Sloane would find out shortly thereafter. If I understood it correctly, your father at least had significant precognitive powers."

"So they knew what would happen on Jakku?" her voice hardened and Kylo knew she was thinking about how they had left her there, knowing what would happen - or suspecting.

"I don't think it's that straightforward, but they knew enough to make me trust them with Tashu while I kept the rest of the fleet distracted in battle." Luke leaned back into his chair, studying their reactions as the words settled in the air. "The only thing they asked was for me to hold that chip, and that I keep their role a secret. Apparently the Jensaarai people are quite secretive."

"That explains why I've never heard of them before now," there was an edge to Kylo's voice he couldn't keep out. Yet another thing that had been kept from him in his studies, but he pushed the anger aside and focused on Rey. Her hands shook and he placed his own on top of them as they clenched the small piece of metal.

"I didn't know them well, but your parents were honorable - and made great sacrifices for the Galaxy."

"What's with you Jedi and your secrets?" Rey spat as she stood up, pointing her finger at Luke. "I'm beginning to understand why Kylo left."

She stormed out without another word and Kylo held back, knowing she needed time. His eyes focused on the desk in front of him, Luke watching him warily once more.

"You lost yourself again in there," he said quietly - not a question. "I haven't felt that in years, Ben."

Kylo dragged his eyes up to his uncle's with a feeling of dread, "I couldn't control it anymore."

The confession, the admittance that after everything, he did succumb - he fell into the darkness, briefly, but it was enough. Whatever had been done had unlocked the door he had kept closed for so long, and Rey - she brought him back, but he was fractured.

Luke said nothing and they sat in silence until Kylo eventually stood up and left, Rey's grief pulling him in like a tether.

* * *

"Rey," his voice hit her hard as she curled against the wall in her room, looking out at the dark city below. Had it really only been today that they had kissed - that he had pushed her into a wall in terror? The card in her hand felt like lead, her chest hollow as she tried not to think about what was on it.

Her parents had known, maybe all along, what would happen to them - and they just left her there.

"Do you think they knew?" was all she said, and Kylo walked up, sitting beside her. Rey looked away from the window at him, arms wrapped around her knees, "Do you think they wanted me to be raised with the Anchorites?"

"Maybe," he said, and she sniffled as tears threatened to overwhelm her again. She hadn't let herself believe it, and Kylo wouldn't lie to her - he didn't know, but it was possible. Maybe even probable. "Whatever they did, it doesn't mean they didn't love you - they left this for you."

His hand reached out to touch the card that was clenched in her fist, but she laughed darkly. "You still trust that the Force guides everything?"

Kylo paused, hand dropping down, brushing against the skin of her legs briefly.

"I'm not sure anymore - about anything, really."

Rey blinked away tears as she narrowed her eyes at his head, tilted back and staring at the ceiling for answers. "Is that why you pushed me away?"

He winced briefly at her accusation, but shook his head as he shifted his body in a mirror image of hers and finally looked at her.

"When the Acolytes took me, they tried something - the ritual I always suspected, but I didn't know-" he took a deep breath and Rey watched him struggle with the words. She was grateful he was finally telling her, even as a distraction for her. "Something -  _ joined  _ with me - shifted. I was chained to the ground, Rey, paralyzed by whatever they had given me. But when it connected with me - the rage and anger that is always inside of me was released."

"The bodies - I knew you had to have been the one to do it," she whispered, the slow realization flickering over her face. "Kylo, they were  _ burned." _

He looked away, clenching his jaw at the reminder, "It was so natural, like breathing - the lightning. Afterwards I collapsed and then - I was with you."

The words were soft and she wanted to respond, but her mind kept flashing back to the massacre of the Anchorites - how similar their deaths were compared to the ones Kylo had killed.

"There's more," he hedged, and the prickle of fear made her skin itch. "There's a presence in my head - it's been with me as long as I can remember. Talking to me."

"Like mine?" The Eremite had only appeared when she first stepped foot into the Plateau, but she was no stranger to voices in her head.

"No - it is malevolent, a sickness. I ignored it - ran from it - for decades; it tried to convince me of things," his eyes looked back at her. "Of my destiny. But after the Acolytes were killed, for the first time it was…pleased. It wants to control me."

One leg dropped to the floor as Rey leaned in to touch his cheek, "You're afraid."

"Yes," he admitted. "Whatever they did to me, I'm not the same man I was."

Kylo pulled away from her as he stood up, "I was never that good of a man to begin with, but at least I could control it."

She watched as he turned his back to her, unsure what to say. The vulnerability in his words pulsed in the air between them, the weight heavy; is this why he had been so dogmatic about the Force and Jedi philosophy - why he had left Luke and his family in search of answers they could never provide?

_ I guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree,  _ her words to him came thundering back, the night she had discovered his family's legacy. No wonder he had been angry - no wonder his fear was palpable.

"You're not him, Kylo."

"Aren't I? It's why the Acolytes want me - because of my  _ destiny,"  _ he spat, and again she was reminded of his complicated relationship between the Force and destiny. "Even my own family-"

She stood up, walking behind him and wrapped her arms around his body, tightening even as he froze in surprise.

"Do you know why the Acolytes worship the Sith?" she asked quietly and Kylo shook his head. "They believe that the Sith are riverbreakers - that they can break the path of the future the Force has laid out."

"The Sith are misguided, Rey."

"Maybe," she hummed. "But that doesn't mean they can't be right about some things."

He turned in her arms, looking down at her as he gave her a small smile.

"The voice," he spoke as his hand cupped her cheek, thumb brushing her lips. "I think it guided me to you. Called you a fitting mate."

Rey tensed at the implications and Kylo nodded in understanding, stepping back - not far, but enough.

"I think I'd like to go to bed now," was all she said at first and he simply turned, headed for the door. "I want you to be there."

His body froze, but he didn't turn around. She didn't expect him to, could feel the anguish rippling in the Force.

"Later, when I watch what they left." The memory card her parents had left her; Kylo's confession had been a welcome distraction, but no more.

"Whatever you need," he said as he slammed the keypad with his hand to open the door, leaving without another word.

* * *

Kylo slouched in a chair in the corner of the cooking area, downing a mug of some sort of alcoholic brew the cook had nudged towards him. Everything was a mess - can't trust his mind after what the Acolytes did, Rey can't trust his heart because of them, and his family doesn't trust his control. Even  _ he  _ agreed with them at this point.

He replayed the surge of darkness and desperation when he pushed Rey away over and over again in his mind, wondering how she could ever look at him the same.

And yet still she needed him to be there and it struck him again just how alone she was in the world. So much like him, but in ways only they understood.

A chair slid out and Kylo looked to find Luke staring at him, a silent request for permission. Sighing, he nodded and sat up slightly under his scrutiny.

"Did I ever really have a choice in my life?" Kylo asked, bitterness laced in his words. It felt as if nothing he had ever done was of his own choosing - he had left Luke, but was it all some big manipulation? Like his journey to Jakku - to the Observatory - to  _ Rey? _

"You've always trusted the Force in your own way, respected its presence in the Galaxy and the power it brings you. You're lost now because you never took the time to understand who  _ you  _ are - always looking for answers in history and philosophy."

Kylo drank deeply from his mug to hide his annoyance, and Luke shifted, resting his elbows on the table as he continued. "It's dangerous for a Jedi to lose himself, but perhaps even more so to never know who they are in the first place."

"I'm not a Jedi," Kylo spat.

"So you've said," Luke mused. Kylo hated being placated, and Luke's tranquility had always been something that rankled him. The anger and violence that was second nature to Kylo was anathema to Luke, who had faced the ultimate test with Darth Vader - his own  _ father -  _ and held true to what the essence of a Jedi was. He was prepared to die for it.

Kylo would never be that person, Rey was right - he was too arrogant, selfish.

Pushing that away, he took a deep breath, "There's something else we need your help with."

Luke raised his eyebrows and sat back in his chair, gesturing for him to continue.

"While on Jakku, Rey and I found a very old holocron with what seemed to be an entire being's consciousness - he called himself the Eremite," Kylo watched his uncle's face for any sign of recognition, but he didn't even twitch. "He was some holy person for the Anchorites - but he told us something about a Force Wound. Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

The Master Jedi closed his eyes, hand rubbing along his face as he tried to pull any memories of it from his studies.

"I have no recollection of such a thing ever being mentioned."

"Would you be able to ask the followers to help look? The Eremite was…vague. Just that we were living in a time of a Force Wound and Rey and I were, according to the Force users are the time, the only ones who could heal it."

Luke leaned in, voice low, "He used that term - heal?"

Kylo just nodded, "He wouldn't - or couldn't - tell us what that meant, or why us in particular. Will you help us look into it?"

"Yes Ben, of course." He let out a relieved sigh, surprised that he had braced himself for Luke's refusal, and wondered at what point they would all stop expecting the worst of each other.

* * *

Much later as the sky darkened and Kylo prepared for sleep, he sensed Rey's presence on the other side of the door and wondered if now was the time. He sat on the bed staring at the door, willing her to knock or enter or something that wasn't just standing on an imaginary precipice.

He felt her waver, but a knock surprised him, "Come in, Rey."

The door slid open and Rey walked in, carrying a holopad; she stood just inside the door and they stared at each other, the weight of their last conversation rolling over them like a blanket.

Kylo simply shifted down the edge of his bed and waved his hand to come sit next to her.

"Are you alright?" His voice was warm, filled with concern as she sat down, closer to him than he expected. Rey held the memory card out to him.

"Will you do it?" Rey looked over at him, her face devoid of emotion, but Kylo could feel her anxiousness as she shifted under his gaze.

Kylo nodded, taking the storage device from her hand and pushing it into the holopad, holding it so they both could watch. Her shoulder brushed his as she leaned closer to him, out of support rather than necessity. The need to be close to someone - him.

His hand found hers as it rested in her lap, squeezing it as the video fluttered to life and Rey sucked in a shaky breath.

A woman and man sat there, barely older than Rey, dressed in shockingly similar armor to her own - though different coloring and without Rey's modifications. Her mother's caramel hair was cut at the ears, her father's face a few days past his last shave.

Both looked immeasurably sad and when her dad started to speak, Rey squeezed his hand so tight he lost feeling. But he didn't pull away.

"If you don't know this already, we are Jensaarai - as are you. We hope that one day you will go there and meet your people; they are secretive, but they will know you. Our home is a moon called Susevfi."

Kylo was unfamiliar with the smaller moons, but it should be easy to find in the temple archives - or the Republic's. Her mother took over and smiled at them - at Rey.

"I always knew I would have a daughter. I haven't met you yet, but we hope you know still that we love you very much." Mother and daughter shared tears and Kylo watched Rey's face as she drank in every second of the holo, as if she could will herself back in time to go to them.

"We never wanted to leave you, Rey," she sobbed as she heard her father say her name, realizing the extent of their precognitive abilities. "It was our duty, as I hope you will understand in time - in life, we are often made to choose between two things that would bring us great pain. I love you, Rey."

"We both do, please remember that," her mother pressed two fingers to her lips and held them out as the recording shut off.

They both sat in silence, Kylo setting the datapad on the bed beside him as Rey froze. The pressure on his hand slowly eased up as he tilted her head towards him, watching the quiet tears form in her eyes.

"It's okay to be angry," he whispered, watching as she realized that was the emotion that was overwhelming her. But she didn't have the energy for outbursts or destruction and so she simply leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I've never felt so alone," she admitted brokenly and Kylo's heart surged, wrapping his arms around her, letting her know he was there - that she wasn't alone.

Long minutes passed in silence, both consumed with their thoughts.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Any other time, his heart would be soaring at the idea - the kiss had unlocked a wellspring of emotions he had never embraced before, it felt so long ago - but the broken way she asked made him stand up.

He slipped his arms around her and lifted her up, setting her in the bed, pushing the datapad to the floor as he slipped in beside her. Immediately and without hesitation, Rey shifted and rolled into his side, her head resting on his arm.

"I'm sorry I called you selfish," she said quietly as he pulled the blanket over them, adjusting their alignment. He paused in surprise, remembering her anger.

"You don't have to apologize for being honest with me, Rey. Never," he was fervent, forceful even.

"Thank you for what you did on Jakku." Kylo took a deep breath. She had figured it out, then.

"I guess we're even now though," he murmured as he took a chance and kissed her hair. "You're welcome, though. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hadn't. I'd say that's pretty selfish."

The sound of her laughter made his heart swell, her hand resting innocently on his abdomen, making him tense slightly. Rey didn't move it either way, but after a second she leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked =) @reylosource


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up splitting the original 7.5k word chapter 14 into three parts to make it more palatable. Enjoy part 1!

 

Susevfi was a smaller moon on the very edge of the Outer Rim, one of the last legs of the Corellian Run trade route. Kylo had never visited it's planet Suarbi, but it’s location was easy enough to find in the archives. He looked over at Rey, hands busy on the controls as she steeled herself to land on the remote settlement that her parents had marked.

There were people here other than the Jensaarai, mostly traders of irrelevance; he had spoken with his father about them, but aside from vague memories there was nothing substantially interesting about them or the moon.

She circled high in the air, looking for a suitable landing spot when he spotted three people mounted on creatures with long necks, waiting near a patch of white grass.

"A welcoming committee, great," Kylo said dryly as he looked over at Rey, who simply nodded and wrapped her hands tightly around the controls as she began the ship's descent.

Rey landed a dozen paces away from them, unbuckling and rushing back to slip the rest of her weapons on.

"They'll probably take those from you."

"They can try," Rey glared at the group from behind the window as she cinched her cape around her shoulders and straightened her lightsaber belt. Kylo just huffed and gave her a quick smile, resting his hands on his belt as she prepared to face another piece of her puzzle.

Nodding at him, Rey watched as he pushed the button to disengage the ramp and her hands fluttered nervously at her sides. Kylo grabbed one and laced his fingers with hers, squeezing once for reassurance before the ramp set down and she pulled away.

They approached the group with reserved steps, Kylo reaching out and sensing for any issues, "I feel nothing from them."

He was puzzled, but Rey noted the extra beast without a rider beside them and raised an eyebrow.

One of the three dismounted and walked towards them, a woman with white hair and markings across her brow. They regarded each other for a few moments before her eyes darted between Kylo, Rey, and back to him. 

"You are the Jedi?"

Kylo tensed at the question, it was the last thing he expected to be called, but he felt Rey's eyes on him and jerked his head in agreement. 

"Good," the woman grunted. Kylo noted a surprising lack of weapons on those that greeted them and wondered at their confidence. "You'll come with us."

"Why?" Rey finally spoke, demanding some kind of explanation before they abandoned their only way of escape. Despite her desire to know more, she refused to shake a lifetime of caution when it came to her safety.

The two strangers still on mounts shifted uncomfortably, watching as the white-haired woman turned back to face Rey.

"You have come to learn of your heritage, Rey Khoros. Come, or not - it is no matter to us."

At that, she turned back and vaulted up onto the creature and Kylo realized they used no seats or saddles - they must all be Force sensitive, despite their lack of presence in the Force.

Rey held her head up and marched with heavy steps to the empty beast, Kylo following; she jumped up with an easy touch of her power and Kylo shook his head at her control, even now wistful about his own issues as he followed and shifted behind her as she grasped the reins.

Without another word, the three took off towards the east where mountains broke the horizon. Rey followed without any more hesitation.

* * *

They rode in silence, loping over the land as it shifted from the white grasses to dirt paths that wound towards the collection of buildings nestled in the shadow of the mountains. Kylo's arms wound tight around her as she controlled their mount, neither one saying anything. 

After a time, the path opened wide and they slowed to a stop; Rey gave him a small smile as she slid off the beast and into his arms before he set her on the ground.

Her eyes flickered between the small stone houses, gasping when she recognized the center of the town was the unusual building from her dreams. Their escort walked through the building without a door, but Rey paused, running her fingers along the etchings in stone, echoing in her memory.

"I've seen this place before," she whispered to Kylo. "In my dreams."

"They seem to be a variation of the Sith language we found on the scabbard in Jakku," he noted with curiosity. It shouldn't surprise him that she had dreamed of this place. The markings were harsh, but as his fingers followed her own he didn't feel the underlying hate one did when interacting with Sith words.

Rey felt more than one set of eyes on her as they both stood in the opening, talking in low voices. Her hand fell away and she stepped inside, Kylo close behind, his presence silently supportive.

The three people who had escorted them now stood behind a woman sitting on a simple long bench of stone, white hair braided back with an ancient face. Her back was straight as she regarded both of them, eschewing the armor the others wore for a simple, but thick, dress of deep green.

Rey noticed another familiar symbol on a banner behind the woman, one she shouldn't have recognized, but felt its importance.

Kylo moved to stand beside her, shoulder to shoulder under the silent inspection.

"I see they did not kill you," the woman finally spoke, the strength of her voice surprising Rey.

"They?" Kylo asked, unable to keep the question inside.

"The Anchorites," she spat, and Rey wasn't sure whether she hated the question or the people who raised her. "Lofty lorekeepers, but millennia in the desert made them cold, brutal. Their love of suffering second only to knowledge."

Rey couldn't find it in herself to argue and Kylo looked sharply at her as if another piece fell into place - she never spoke much of them. And she certainly had not wanted to return.

"Please sit, I know you have many questions," the woman gestured to the stone bench which curved in front of her. "Leave us, seneschals." 

The three escorts filed out, Kylo's guarded eyes watching them until they left; Rey's attention, however, was entirely on the woman in front of them. Both sat down next to each other, Kylo leaned over, resting his elbows on his legs as Rey froze in place.

The woman turned to pour something into a cup and that movement seemed to break the dam, "Are you the Jensaarai? Did you know my parents? What is this place?"

Her voice was eager, betraying her desperation and curiosity, but there was no shame and Kylo rubbed his hand along his chin in thought.

"We are Jensaarai, yes," she emphasized and pointed between herself and Rey, whose emotions were already threatening to overwhelm her. "You know this place already, the moon Susevfi. Our leader settled us here generations ago, disillusioned with both sects of the Force."

"Sects?" Kylo asked.

"Jedi and Sith, of course. Two ancient groups who have done nothing but divide the Force for eons," she spat on the ground in front of them. "We Jensaarai hold no allegiances, no sides but the Force. We fear nothing that the Force can do."

Rey watched Kylo sit up, marveling at her words, and remembered their own discussions about the Force. Perhaps she wouldn't be the only one walking away with something.

He looked at her and spoke, "I've never heard of them before, truly Rey."

"Of course you haven't," the woman interrupted, but Rey nodded at Kylo's words - he had never lied to her. "Both sides have tried to destroy us, but they failed each time. The Jedi underestimated us, the Sith incompetent."

"Why would the Jedi want to destroy you?"

"Nikkos dove too deep into the Force without a tether, his mind became warped - same as the Sith," Rey recalled Kylo explaining it just like that, how the dark side warped minds, users losing their sense of reason and self. "The Jedi hunted him down for it, but we were already here. The Jensaarai purpose beat in our blood. We would not make the same mistake as our founder."

Kylo recognized the name - Nikkos Tyris, a fallen Jedi - he had been killed for falling to Sith influence, but no one mentioned a following like this. Perhaps they hadn't known - the Order missed a lot of things, he thought darkly.

"My parents?" Rey whispered, needing to know how they fit in, why they left this place at all.

The woman turned her eyes onto Rey again, gaze sharpening, "The Jensaarai take it upon ourselves to control the rise of unbridled dark users and those who worship them - the Acolytes. My grandson and his partner were tasked with averting the cataclysm on Jakku."

"You kill Sith just like the Jedi did to Tyris, yet you spit on them for what they did?" Kylo huffed at their hypocrisy.

A hand covered his as he clenched it against his pants and he turned it over, lacing his fingers with hers and squeezing. Their faces didn't move from the woman in front of them as she sat running her sharpened nails around the cup, her eyes shifting between them and their hands.

"I never said the Jedi were wrong for killing him and those who were like him, but in their wake they attempted to destroy the entire village and its people without further investigation - or remorse." Her eyes sharpened as she stood and leaned towards them, so close Rey could see the specks of green in her eyes. "And we were guilty of nothing. One's will must be strong to wield the Force safely, is that not so, Kylo Ren?"

Kylo's eyes roamed her weathered face before answering, "That is true, yes."

She walked behind the stone bench, rifling through a chest and Rey swallowed, her mind reeling. She asked about her parents - and this woman told them about her grandson; who was she?

"I've dreamed of this place, there were screams - so much pain," Rey's voice was stronger than she thought it would have been, given the way her insides jittered and flopped. Answers were so close.

The woman was silent until she took something out of the box and turned towards them, holding it aloft. Rey gasped as she recognized the dagger from her dreams, ornate and surely ceremonial with a curving hilt.

"Force Sight, yes." She walked closer to them, sitting again before she turned to Kylo, "I believe you know what one of your many burdens is, Lost One."

That title again. 

Kylo lifted the gloved hand that wasn't holding Rey's, "I see what was."

"You think you can't control it, that's why you cover yourself." His anger flashed at how much she knew, feeling exposed.  She ignored it and continued, "You were drawn to each other and with that came the dreams, yes?"

"Are you going to tell us who you are?" Rey finally snapped, nerves frayed from the endless riddles and vague statements when she was so close. She didn't want another reminder that her feelings had somehow been manipulated by the Force.

The knife slammed into a log between them, "I am the Saarai-kaar of the Jensaarai, and you will listen to me."

Kylo kicked the log away with a swift thrust as Rey scowled at the woman, "You will not talk to us that way, regardless of who you are."

Their anger bubbled and swirled between them and the woman began to laugh, softly at first and then with true joviality. "Oh you two are everything we hoped for when we saw you in our visions so long ago."

They calmed down as it became clear the woman was not a threat and she finally smiled at them, "Rey, your father was my grandson and I have been waiting for you to arrive for fifteen years. Forgive an old woman her riddles, it is easy to forget you were not raised Jensaarai."

Rey's tears finally flowed at the admission, she had felt it, but to have it confirmed was-

Kylo let go of her hand and pulled her into his side as her head fell onto his shoulder, unable to look away from the only family she had left. The Saarai-kaar stood and walked towards Rey, her wizened hands cupping her chin.

"My name is Siv Khoros, and it is my pleasure to welcome you home."

Rey sniffled as Siv leaned in to wrap her arms in a hug and after a few moments Rey held her back, squeezing tightly. After long, silent minutes she pulled away and sat down once more.

"I wish we had more time this visit, but I know what hunts you," she spoke directly to both of them now. "I see your confusion and frustration, Rey - we must prepare you for a dream-walk if you are to do what you need to do."

"Those were only ever done by the Voss, it's not safe for her," Kylo's mind whirred as he tried to pull memories of studying the mystics. He thought they had been erased during the Old Republic era, any knowledge that remained would be incomplete and dangerous.

"Their number dwindled, yes," Siv read his mind easily. "But they were not erased. We have trained many Voss here on Susevfi, and they stay close. I have called a dream-walker to us and she will aid Rey in the morning."

Once again Kylo was struck with how little the Church of the Force and the Jedi knew of the history and varied practitioners of the Force. The Voss eschewed any formal training, but their gift of Force Prophecy was well known and highly prized; their Mystics held them as gospel - but many prophecies the Jedi listened to were Voss.

"What if I refuse?" Rey was not keen on undertaking a ritual without knowing its purpose, remembering with a shudder how Kylo had described his experience with the Acolytes.

"Perhaps I will let you discuss it with your companion," she nodded to Kylo, who tilted his head in acknowledgement. "It is not something we suggest lightly, but your spirit needs to be centered as you face the time ahead."

Kylo stood, knowing a dismissal when he heard one, but Rey continued her questions, "Kylo is the one being pursued by the Acolytes, his mind is still fractured from their sickness - why not him?"

Siv's hands shot out and gripped his forearm, tighter than he expected and his face twitched in shock; she leveled Rey with a dark stare. 

"He is too deep on the path already to reverse course, he will find no answers here," her long nails dug into his skin as the women stared at each other, a silent conversation that Rey eventually looked away from as she stood. The Saarai-kaar finally released his arm, small rivulets of blood slowly winding down his arm. 

Kylo refused to show emotion as he followed Rey out of the building, drops of blood blooming on the floor. 

* * *

The Seneschals walked them to another stone house at the edge of the town, informing them they would be back in the morning, leaving Rey and Kylo in silence.

Rey slumped on one of the floor pillows, wanting a moment's peace before the whirlwind that had been her life for months picked up speed again. Kylo was used to a life on the edge of a tornado and so left her alone as he looked for food, having not eaten since their arrival in this sector. Rey had been too on edge to bother.

He set a plate between them as he sat on the cushion in front of her, "Only ration packs unfortunately, but they're better when hot."

Rey laid there, staring at him for a few seconds before her hand crawled closer to the plate and snatched a piece. He didn't know she had survived on them for years under Unkar, and even the Anchorites used them as their primary food source in between trading visits.

"So what is dream-walking?" She asked through a mouthful of food, smiling widely as Kylo grimaced in disgust.

"You'll be put into stasis - or trance - monitored by one of the Voss," he ignored her attempts to distract him with her manners as he launched into his next Force lesson. Rey never told him, but she liked how he explained things. His voice would speed up, that passion he only seemed to have when arguing or fighting surging back. "In it you have to fight and face your fears - and hopes - and rage. It is dangerous because you could very easily lose your mind."

Rey rolled onto her back as she stared at the drab ceiling, considering. "Why would she think I need to do it?"

Kylo crossed his legs, his arms wrapping around his knees as his eyes roamed her tan skin, freckles dotting her nose in the subtle light, "Control is important to using the Force - perhaps she feels you've lost some of yours, or are in danger of it. And you'll need that - and balance - to get through whatever it is she sees."

"Do you think I've lost any of my control?" Rey was genuinely curious as she turned her head, regarding him seriously.

"I don't know what's in your head or heart, Rey," he confessed. "But if there's anything that is weighing heavily on your mind, then yes, I think it's a danger. The Jedi practiced control by divorcing themselves of attachments and passions, the Sith embraced theirs - both have their flaws, although the Sith's ended in pain far more often. They fed on destruction."

Kylo watched as she considered his words, wondering what she was thinking, and if she would agree when the Seneschals came again. They stayed like that for a long time, until her eyes fluttered closed and she fell asleep. He lifted her up, cradling her body against his arms as he walked towards the bed and laid her down, covering her with a blanket as she shifted slightly with the new position.

"Sleep well, Rey," he whispered as his hands brushed her hair out of her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I'm on twitter/tumblr @reylosource


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely (with last and the next one) one of the most pivotal chapters in terms of Rey's journey.

It was still dark when Rey woke to hear shuffling outside the door; she slipped out of bed, stepping over Kylo's form on the ground as she opened the door to see the Seneschals waiting.

"The Voss is here, you should get ready, we'll be here," one of the men spoke, close-cut brown hair with the markings across his brow that the woman had. Rey nodded and shut the door, turning to see Kylo sitting up, hands pressed to the floor behind him as he watched her.

"Time to go?"

Rey nodded and grabbed a change of clothes before slipping into the old-style fresher, still grateful that it was water-powered as it washed the day's events away. If she were to do it, she wanted to face her dreams fresh.

Kylo followed and half an hour later they both stepped outside of the house, Rey opting to leave her armor off for once. Her loose training clothes were at odds with Kylo's own battle gear, black shirt, pants, belts and clips. His thick combat boots wrapped around his calves, and Rey knew even the boots hid a few tricks she had yet to get him to divulge.

He looked like a force to be reckoned with, a survivor like her - his face impassive as they walked towards the center building they had met the Saarai-kaar in the day before.

The observations distracted her somewhat until they stood in front of the doorway and she froze, Kylo turning to her with that blank look on his face, "Rey?"

"I don't know if I can do this," she confessed as turned to him, eyes wide, begging him to understand. Rey had always been true to herself, even when it led to morally grey areas - but Siv was right, the past months had thrown her off and she no longer trusted her own feelings. 

"Rey," his face dropped the mask he wore and she took a slow, unsteady breath in as he looked at her with the respect and confidence she craved. "You have nothing to fear with this, you will come out stronger for it, I know. When the Acolytes captured me, do you know how I fought the possession off? Stopped it from overtaking me completely?"

She shook her head, knowing he had glossed over the explanation when he confessed what had happened in that ritual. His hands held her face, giving her a tender smile as his thumbs brushed her cheeks.

"I created a waypoint, something pure and happy and full of light. I tethered myself to it, and when the monster took over - when we both exhausted our strength, I held tight to it. And when I woke, I was with you. Whole." He laughed a little, "Well, mostly."

He was telling her how to survive the dream-walk if she was that concerned, how to not lose her mind, but all she heard was Kylo's happiness and all she felt were his hands warming her skin. It felt familiar, as if-

Rey gasped and pulled away, remembering the day she had met him in the alleyway - the hands on her face, the overwhelming urge to lean into it. The desperate need to stay connected, the question she had always asked him each time, the unseen man.

_ What do you want from me? _

Kylo's bare hands around her face, caresses and tenderness - it was him. She had dreamed of him for so long, the presence finally had a name - and a face. 

Her heart raced as she avoided his confused look and walked into the building without another word, the peace from their morning now crashed into the unavoidable reality that whatever she had with Kylo went far beyond her control. Suddenly she realized what it was that plagued her, weighed heavy on her mind, and as she looked at her great-grandmother, the Saarai-kaar, she realized what she had meant.

Kylo stood next to her and she felt his eyes on her, but steeled herself to ignore him for now. A red-skinned woman with bright blue eyes stepped forward and Rey stood tall as she met her eyes.

"I will guide you to where you need to go, but once there only you will know the way out," was all she said, her voice soft and emotionless as she gestured to the bed at the edge of the room. Kylo moved to follow her, but the Saarai-kaar stopped him with a hand to his chest.

"We cannot help her with this," she said, then looked at the Voss. "We will wait outside."

The Voss said nothing, and Rey grew nervous - she didn't want him to go, pleading with her eyes as he stood there, refusing to move. 

"Any other presence will put you in danger," the Voss woman told her in a low voice and Rey finally looked into her blue eyes, like placid water. Whatever she saw there was enough and Rey relented, telling Kylo it was okay - she was okay.

"I'll be right outside, Rey," his voice was firm, even though she knew he was as nervous as she was. 

 

* * *

Rey laid back on the bed, trying to calm herself as the Voss woman - who wouldn't give her a name - moved quietly around, mixing something.

"This mixture is just to put you into the dream-sleep," she intoned. "Once you are there, you will be set on a path - follow it to the exit. Go through it and you will awaken."

Anything that sounded that easy was bound to give her a headache, but Rey nodded, "Alright - and what are you doing?"

"I monitor you and your aura. If you're in danger, I will pull you out - you are not trained yet, and so you need a guide."

Rey didn't miss the yet part of her statement and took a deep breath, pushing that discussion away for another day. She took the cup from the woman and forced herself to drink it all at once, slimy liquid that slid down her throat and made her gag. It worked fast, her limbs going heavy as she was dragged into unconsciousness.

When she opened her eyes again, she was standing at the edge of a hallway, looking out a large glass window at a place that could only be Coruscant. It looked different, there was a gigantic pyramid building she had never seen before. To the side of the hallway was a grand circular room and she heard voices.

Rey tried to walk through the doorway, but bounced back as a scene played for her; beings of all types sat in a circle, two men standing in the center. 

_ "He is the chosen one spoken of in the prophecy," the man with long hair spoke to them and she saw their wary faces. Prophecy? Her anger and annoyance bubbled up.  _

_ "He will bring balance to the Force." The little boy looked up at a younger man, and she felt the weight on his shoulders as if it was her own. _

The scene faded and she remembered what the dream-walker had said: follow the path. And so she did, winding corridors of a building she had never seen, until she walked by a door flanked by two female statues.

Again, a scene played - this time, a young man and woman; sad and angry and heartbroken. Terrified. All the emotions washed over her as if she were both of them at once.

_ "I can save you, Padme." The words were desperate, fearful - and said out of love.  _

Rey knew she should recognize them, why else would she been shown these scenes, but nothing made any sense. Chosen One, prophecies - Padme? What did she need saving from - and who was he?

The hallway flipped and shifted as she stumbled to keep her footing as she was catapulted to an angry planet she recognized immediately - Mustafar.

_ Lava bubbled up and she saw two men - the men from the other visions! But one was badly injured, limbs cut and laying there with hatred boiling over as the man who had said so confidently before He will bring balance to the Force stood there with an anguished look. His lightsaber was activated and Rey realized with horror what had happened. _

_ "YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE." That word again. "It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force…not leave it in darkness!" _

_ The devastation was palpable as she connected the prophetic words spoken by him years earlier, and the fear and desperation as he promised Padme he would save her. Is this where that love led? Is that what she was supposed to learn? _

_ "I HATE YOU," the injured man screamed at him and Rey couldn't look away at his eyes, burning with rage and the yellow madness of the Sith.  _

_ "You were my BROTHER, Anakin!" The name vibrated in her chest and she knew she was looking at the birth of Darth Vader. Second to Emperor Palpatine, a Sith Lord. And Ben Solo's grandfather. _

The scene disappeared as the man turned his back on Anakin. Rey couldn't fathom how this connected to her - it seemed as if again she was seeing things Kylo should see instead. Had the Jedi been wrong to trust the prophecy - or wrong to trust Anakin? How could they be so sure either way - Kylo put his faith in being guided by the Force and it led him directly to the Acolytes.

She remembered his hands on her face and shuddered; she felt manipulated, her dreams of him had been a comfort in dark times, a bright light. And now she didn't know what to think.

The path went on, shifting darker until she entered the interior of a ship and immediately recognized a young Luke Skywalker in black.

_ "I am a Jedi, like my father before me." It was said with a calm confidence that Rey envied, and she smiled remembering how frustrated Kylo would get at his Uncle's passive demeanor. She turned and her eyes went wide, realizing he was speaking to the Emperor - and Darth Vader himself.  _

Luke had recognized the tragedy of Vader's choices - the fear for Padme that drove him to that point on Mustafar and beyond. And here he stood, accepting both dualities - the Jedi who was his father and the Sith Lord who was his enemy.

The scene shifted and she saw the Emperor brutally electrocuting him with Force Lightning while Vader watched. But Rey felt the conflict - the looks between his Emperor and his son; and finally, he chose.

There had never been an official account of how the Emperor or Darth Vader had died, both deaths were attributed to Luke Skywalker - cementing his status in legend. Now, Rey knew the truth - in the end, Vader had chosen his son. The product of a love so profound it had caused his very downfall. 

_ She watched as Luke dragged his dying body towards a ship. _

_ "Let me look on you with my own eyes," Anakin rasped through his mask. Her tears began in earnest as finally father reunited with his son. The moment was brief, and then he was gone. _

It went blank again and she walked down the hallway again, face wet.

She walked into a room this time, not a vision, and saw a young boy with black-brown hair sitting against a door with his ear pressed to it. Rey smiled and opened her mouth to say something when she heard arguing between a man and woman.

_ The voices were familiar, and they were arguing about their son - the boy, she assumed. It didn't click until she heard Han's wary voice, "He has too much Vader in him, Leia." _

_ Rey looked down at the boy who had just heard his parents talking about him - a boy who, if he didn't know he shared his blood, certainly knew who Darth Vader was. She could feel the resentment and fear - and hopelessness - in him. He tried to hide it even now, but it was there if you knew where to look. _

Raising a hand to comfort him, the room spun and she was abruptly back at Luke's Temple on Chandrila, watching him speak with her.

_ "In the end, he was fated to fall," it was as if she was seeing the same thing again, only later and with family members instead of strangers. The talk of chosen ones, prophecies - and fate, darkness. Rey began to realize what the dream-walk was making her understand, forcing her to face. _

The next scenes were of the Eremite and Saarai-kaar, speaking to Kylo, calling him the Lost One. 

And the last, just before she had entered the dream-walk, Kylo as he held her face. 

_ "I created a waypoint, something pure and happy and full of light. I tethered myself to it, and when the monster took over - when we both exhausted our strength, I held tight to it." _

Rey watched the realization hit her past-self and pull away, but this time she focused on Kylo - what he was saying. His devastation when she pulled away, refusing to look at him. He had fallen - but he had come back. 

Prophecy and fate were tricky things, both right in the end, but not the way anyone expected. 

Useless to listen to, not meant to be feared or angered by.

She took another step and was sucked into a rapid succession of scenes from her own past. The fights she got into, the people she hurt - and helped. The way the scales of justice balanced in her favor, reminding her that she always walked a tight line - that is who she was. It was what made sense to her. 

She walked her own path.  _ Riverbreaker, indeed, Kiza _ . Perhaps they were right, in a way. She had seen that even with fate and prophecies, there was still a choice to be made. And she would keep this lesson close.

Walking down the ornate hallway once more, a door appeared and Rey took a deep breath, knowing she was at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it =) @reylosource on tumblr and twitter!


	16. Chapter 16

Kylo paced back and forth, the tightly wound energy needing some kind of outlet as Rey went through the dream-walk. Alone. 

Not exactly alone, but with a stranger from a race who was thought to be extinct. Luke would be thrilled.

"Would you calm down," Siv drawled, exhausted with watching this man run himself ragged with worry. "Come, sit."

Kylo stopped briefly, his head jerking to the chair next to her before resuming his pacing. 

"I understand you are a fan of history, philosophy," she continued, Kylo wondered where she had learned that in the brief time they had been here. His eyes narrowed as he watched her. "If you sit, I will tell you a few things you do not know."

A few more laps and finally he sighed, sitting in the chair with a grace that surprised her.

"Thank you," she took a long drink from her cup and offered some to him, but he shook his head. "The Jensaarai do not believe in the division of the Force - what you call the light and dark. It is but the energy of all life, neither good nor bad."

"I know this," he sighed.

"Listen," she snapped and he felt chastened, straightening slightly. "Where those who follow one or the other get it wrong is in their control - as I told you, our founder Nikkos lost his tether as he dove too deep into the Force. It swallowed him whole."

"He gave in to the darkness, like the Sith do," Kylo agreed with their interpretation thus far.

"Yes - they were studying Sith texts, you see - as I'm sure you would, given your curiosity," he couldn't disagree with her there, he had only had a few chances to do so. He had learned their language in his time away from Luke, but that was it. "The Jensaarai specialize in precognition - premonitions."

"Prophecy?" Kylo inquired, knowing how much Rey hated the very idea of it, and wondering if she would learn it with them.

"No - not truly. Ours is shorter in lifespan. Prophecies often span millennia before they come to fruition, which make them difficult to interpret in any time," he was reminded of the Chosen One prophecy that had sent his family into a spiral. The Jedi of the time had put the weight of it and their faith in Anakin, only for him to fall and betray them in turn.

It had been too much, and wrong in the end.

"The Anchorites were founded in response to such a prophecy."

"The Eremite, we saw," he lifted his bare hands, reminding her of his gift.

"Yes, they watched over him and for her," Siv nodded towards the building where Rey slept. "They evolved into an odd group, obsessed with making life harder for themselves in pursuit of their task - and knowledge. They believed that each person goes through a time of great suffering in life, in order to be actualized. It colored their behaviors."

"Did they hurt her?" His voice was low, murderous, and they stared at each other, judging.

"Not in the way you suggest, but they weren't overly kind - despite who she was."

Kylo remembered another story about them, Gallius Rax slaughtering his old mentor - an Anchorite leader. Some say it was in a blood rage, but now Kylo wondered if it wasn't revenge.

"You're beginning to feel like my husband, Kylo Ren," her voice was tired suddenly and he was startled by the implication. "You need to keep it together a little bit longer, if not for yourself - then for her."

They sat together, waiting, for hours. Kylo could only think about his comparison to her sith-fallen husband, companion to Nikkos Tyris, both killed by the Jedi. He looked in Rey's direction, wishing again it had been safe for him to dream-walk as well. Control had never been his specialty.

"I know what she fears, but you and I know - the Force can't manipulate feelings." 

The statement seemed random at first, until he folded it over and over in his mind, remembering how she had pulled away from him so quickly earlier. Skittish, even.

The Saarai-kaar pinned him with a serious look, "You are always welcome here, to learn what we have to teach."

And it seemed as if she was saying something entirely different.

* * *

Her body shot up, gasping for air as the Voss gripped her wrist; she saw Kylo rush inside, hair mussed, and Rey smiled at the sign of his frustration.

"Are you okay?" 

Rey nodded quickly, focusing on her breathing, until she could speak. "I need to speak with the Eremite - I brought the holocron, Kylo - please get it for me?"

He hesitated, eyes checking her face and body for any signs of injury, and his body sagged in relief before he turned on his heel and walked out.

* * *

Rey sat on the bench as the Voss woman and Siv spoke in low tones; Kylo walked in and handed her the bag.

She pulled out the Eremite's holocron and the Voss turned slowly, "That is not a holocron."

Kylo looked at her curiously, the emphatic way she spoke, "It is similar enough, I just assumed it was because it was so old."

"May I see it?"

They exchanged a glance and Rey shrugged as she handed it over, "Only Kylo and I can open it anyway, apparently."

The red-skinned woman lifted it to the light, shifting it around before covering it entirely with her hands. She began to hum, eyes closed, and Kylo took a seat next to Rey, enraptured. The humming stopped and the woman handed it to Kylo.

"That is because it is Voss-made, similar to our vitalicrons which store a being's entire memories. They are coded to that being's DNA only," she nodded towards the one in his hands. "That is similar, but I have never seen nor heard of one like it. It is very old indeed - and whomever is in it is most certainly a Voss as well."

Kylo shot her a look, another puzzle piece falling into place. The Eremite was a member of the Voss race, possibly a Mystic - they trusted in prophecies implicitly, according to the histories. It explains why he had dedicated so much to ensuring it with Rey and the Anchorites.

"We will leave you to your questions, then," the Saarai-kaar said as she and the Voss woman left them alone.

"Do you feel alright?" Kylo blurted out his question as soon as they were gone and Rey flushed at his concern, nodding.

"I- it helped, Kylo - but he knows more than he said, I'm sure of it now," her voice was firm and steady and he was relieved she didn't seem affected by the dream-walk.

He lifted the ancient holocron between them, his hand resting on hers as they touched the device and the energy shifted as the room burst into the familiar blue light.

"Hello again, Lost One," the Eremite sounded surprised as he saw Kylo. With the newfound knowledge that he was of the Voss race, Kylo recognized the similarities between him and the woman, remembering his blue skin and red eyes from the vision of the past.

"Why does everyone call me that?"

Rey nervously flicked her eyes to him as the Eremite answered, "It is who you are - you are lost to the currents of the Force, swept up in so many streams you don't know which way to go."

"Kylo," she commanded his attention before he stormed out, likely destroying the holocron in the process. "I need to speak with the Eremite alone."

The words settled between them, heavy with meaning as they stared at each other; blessedly, the Eremite chose silence as Kylo tried to understand what she would need to hide from him. But she said nothing and he eventually nodded, leaving her without another look back.

"He doesn't have much choice, does he?" The Eremite's question brought her attention back to him and she scowled. "But you do. The Freed. You have a choice."

"In what?"

"How to heal the Force Wound."

The words hit her and she growled, "You told me you didn't know how to heal it."

He went silent, regarding her with pity again, "Why do you look at me like that?"

"I don't know how to heal it, but I know you have a choice - the sooner you make it, the more pain you spare yourself." His voice was full of sorrow, and she remembered again that he had been her mentor - though shrouded - and she desperately needed guidance right now. Was this all she would get?

"Kylo doesn't get a choice?" She didn't know what the choices were, but the idea of choosing - it was something precious.

"His destiny has always been clear, and even now you know he's turning. His mind is not entirely his own." 

Rey wanted to argue, to tell him that he hadn't been any different since the Acolytes' ritual - but he  _ had  _ been different. In little ways - and big, she shuddered as she remembered being thrown across the room. His control was slipping, anger unleashed more often - though not at her. 

He had come back, but Luke had said it - his mind was fractured and no one knew how to fix it.

"Why didn't you tell me this before, if choosing whatever it is sooner is easier on me?"

"It was not the right time," Rey could scream she was so frustrated with the man. "In life, we are often made to choose between two things that would bring us great pain."

At that, she snapped the box shut, furious tears making her grip it so tight little cuts began to form. Finally, her breathing evened out and she went back to the dream-walk, remembering what she had seen - and learned - about prophecies. The Eremite was following one with his whole heart, but could not see which way it would fall. 

And again, she chose to push it aside and remember who she was - a survivor. A scavenger, making the best of what she finds.

She slipped the holocron back into her bag and slung it over her shoulder, walking outside into the now midday sun.

"Rey," her great-grandmother stood across from her in a blue dress this time, apparently waiting on her. "It's been a long start to the day, but I thought you might like to eat with me? I would like to get to know you."

Her heart swelled at the thought, but she looked towards the guest house where Kylo surely was and paused. He would want this for her, Rey knew - but the thought of him alone made her ache.

"He understands, Rey. Come," the Saarai-kaar looked at her and she finally nodded, looking forward to talking with the only family she had in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed =) find me @ reylosource on tumblr/twitter!


	17. Chapter 17

Sunlight warmed her bare arms and calves as Rey leaned against the back of the bench, one foot propped on the wooden fence in front of her. Through the two horizontal slats, she watched Kylo sparring with a few of the Jensaarai warriors.

It had only been a few days, but they both seemed to sink seamlessly into life in this town; Kylo's exhilaration was palpable even from where she sat. He had only ever trained with her or Luke.

Rey looked away, down at the dagger the Saarai-kaar had gifted her, the one she had seen in her dream. It had belonged to her father, something made for the heirs to use in rituals; but it had sat quiet since he had left with his partner on a mission that would last more than a decade.

Her great-grandmother had not chosen a replacement heir. Rey turned it over in her hands, the now-familiar markings etched into the silver blade, hilt a dark polished wood laced with blue stone.

A shadow fell over Rey's face and a woman sat down beside her, "So you're the heir, huh."

It wasn't a question, not exactly - although Rey didn't know the answer and simply shrugged. The woman just nodded, turning to watch the fight.

"You really didn't know you were being trained by an ancient Voss?" This time, Rey looked at her, taken aback slightly as she took in the orange irises of her eyes, matching her hair. The Jensaarai were an eclectic group, reminding her somewhat of the Anchorites - no dominant species. They also liked to gossip, apparently.

"No, he was just a voice to me," Rey shrugged, watching the awe on the woman's face. "Just something I learned to trust, I guess."

"The Force is weird," she grinned, and Rey couldn't argue with that as she smiled back. "I'm Echo, by the way."

"Rey," she inclined her head at the greeting. "But I guess you already knew that."

A giggle bubbled up and Echo said, "The long-lost daughter of Talin and Kaveh, the Jensaarai Heir?" she snorted, "Yeah I knew your name."

The familiarity was not something Rey was used to yet, so many people had known her parents in a way she never would. She only remembered how they left her alone. It was difficult to separate the two.

At least she had Kylo, who understood even without her needing to explain. But she did anyway, needing something to fill their empty space with; the heavy reality of what she had learned sat between them. If anyone would understand, it would be him - torn between what she might have to do and what she needs.

But the dreams that she had been comforted by for years had now become nightmares of Kylo with a soulless look and yellow eyes.

She wondered if she could have done anything different than Obi-Wan, in the end - faced with that choice.

Kylo had been surprised when she asked about his grandfather's story, attempting to explain the dream-walk, how her greatest fear was being controlled by some abstract Force Prophecy - or Fate. He told her their story, the  _ real  _ story of his family, the sadness and heartache caused by fear and misunderstanding.

_ "And my parents - they were no better, in the end, with relationships," his voice was bitter and she remembered the other part of her dream-walk, that of a little boy listening to his parents' fear. "Luke had the right of it." _

_ "What do you mean?" Rey had asked, surprised by him agreeing with anything his old mentor did. _

_ "Being alone. It's safer, especially for Skywalkers." _

"I've never seen anyone with a purple lightsaber before," Echo's voice dragged Rey away from her thoughts as she followed her line of sight to where Kylo spun his body, twirling his unusual lightsaber over his head.

"He says the colors mean something, but he never figured out what his meant," and it concerned him, though he never said as much.

"Mine's green, pretty common - I hear yours is yellow though. Only Guardians ever had those, the Sentinels of the Jedi? Pretty rare, even back then."

Rey nodded, not really knowing what else to say - she didn't know what Sentinels or Guardians were, but Kylo would.

"You track Acolytes, right?"

Echo nodded, eagerly launching into a story about her latest hunt. Rey listened to her glee and smiled, reminding her of her own missions fulfilling her own sense of justice in the Galaxy. Shady people doing terrible things, in some circles  _ Scavenger  _ was a thing to be feared.

"Have you ever come across one called Kiza?" Rey kept her voice casual, remembering the woman who had intercepted her, fed her information about Kylo.

"No, but she's pretty high up - heard stories about her," Echo let out a low whistle as she shook her head. "Dangerous, one of their Lieutenants. Heard she killed her lover years ago, possessed by some Sith mask."

Rey remembered her face as she spoke about Kylo's issues - called him  _ Lover Boy  _ with such disdain. Some of her behavior began to click into place, despite the casual façade.

"I could watch that man spar all day," she heard Echo's dreamy sigh and watched her face, looking over and realizing she was talking about Kylo. "I hope he stays forever, he's not yours right?"

Echo looked at her suspiciously and Rey shook her head, but the feeling in her stomach grew as she watched him closer. Bare arms again, wearing the training outfit they took from Luke's temple. She had kissed him wearing that outfit. It felt so long ago. They had never spoken about it, leaving it in silence.

As if he sensed her stare, Kylo stopped and looked over, locking eyes with Rey. He gave her a tight smile and she nodded in acknowledgement.

Her mind flashed back to the Eremite's words and she shook the thoughts away. It was for the best.

* * *

Kylo walked up to where Rey waited at the edge of the sparring fence, her hand slowly turning the knife she had been given in her grip. If she were anyone else, he would be on edge at the easy show of her skills, but for once he did not fear it - if she ever turned the violence on him, Kylo knew it'd be too late for him to be scared.

She finally realized he was there and moved off the fence, startled, "Hi - all done?"

He just nodded as they began the long walk back to their temporary housing; they had never discussed why she came with him every day to watch him train if she wasn't going to fight herself, but Kylo suspected it had something to do with the last time they sparred together.

Opening his mouth to broach the topic, a Seneschal turned the corner, spotting them and walking quickly.

"You should come, the Saarai-kaar has had a vision and she sent for us."

Kylo sighed, realizing their quiet reprieve was over as he waved on for him to lead the way.

"I told her about the Force Wound," Rey explained to him as they walked. "I figured it would be helpful to have both her and Luke on it?"

There was a hint of insecurity in her voice and Kylo moved his hand to give hers a reassuring squeeze.

The building they were taken to was new to them, inside Siv sat on a platform covered in plush pillows, her feet moving to press against the ground again.

"I asked that they bring a holodevice - we need you to contact Luke Skywalker," her hand beckoned one of the people forward. "You both need to know what I've seen, and so do they - please."

Kylo nodded and took the device from the Seneschal's hands; perhaps his trust was misplaced, but any information they could get on the mysterious wound was not to be overlooked. He entered Luke's code, feeling Rey's eyes on him, her worry through the Force - it seemed as if the dream-walk had caused her more concern than it took away.

Setting it down, Luke's form projected above it - and beside him, his mother.

"What is it, Ben?" He sighed and turned to Rey's great-grandmother who was now watching the two forms with severe judgement in her eyes.

"I am the Saarai-kaar of the Jensaarai - are you aware of any disruptions of the Force, dark misdeeds or manipulations in recent history?" She cut right to the quick of things and Kylo contemplated her words as they sat in silence, assuming Luke was doing the same.

Kylo slipped unaware into his consciousness, a trance he again had not controlled; he searched his memories this way, the word manipulations tugging hard. He felt Rey's hand on his leg, shaking it slightly and it hit him-

"Anakin," he gasped, coughing as he came out of the trance. Rey soothed his back as he coughed, feeling the eyes of their family on them.

"What did you say?" Leia urged, speaking for the first time.

"I read in the Jedi annals that Anakin was born to an unknown father, it was suggested by Qui-gon that he was a manifestation of the Force - to fulfill the Chosen One prophecy."

"But it was really a manipulation by the Sith Lord Sidious - yes, that could be it - Saarai-kaar, have you seen something?" Luke looked to the old woman whose eyes were still watching the way Rey's hands lingered on Kylo's leg.

"They need to go to Carida - I have seen a wave of death there, a true imbalance. Many will die at once with no obvious cause. It is where they need to be, I do not know why."

"The only thing we've found on this Force Wound was more conceptual - a scholar mused what would happen if one were to rip the very essence of the Force and bend it to its will on a massive scale," Luke explained, and Kylo's eyes narrowed. He had never heard of this speculation - and Sith manipulating the Force like that had happened many times before. It wouldn't cause such a large machination to be set in motion.

"This goes much deeper, Master Jedi," Siv spoke finally. "I fear with the limited amount of time we have, the  _ why  _ is not as important as the  _ what do we do.  _ They must go there - both of them."

She spoke in greater detail of the vision, the exact warnings and signs; Kylo felt Rey's despair at the descriptions of the destruction they would likely encounter.

"I have heard reports of similar occurrences in the past week," Leia replied, mind already turning. "The Senate sent medical teams to assist, no known cause - we thought possibly a virus or plague of some sort."

"We'll go to the one Saarai-kaar saw," Rey confirmed. "In the meantime, we'll need to track the early warning signs - all three of you will need to work together while we're gone."

"What will you do to stop it?" Luke's voice was suspicious and Kylo scowled, looking away from his uncle.

"They will trust in the Eremite's words, Jedi," Siv's voice was sharp, reproachful, and Kylo found himself eternally grateful. "It is likely you will encounter Acolytes there - it is clear they are taking advantage of this vulnerability to bring forth their ancient Lord from the Beyond."

The truth hit all four of them with a heavy blow and Rey stood and excused herself as Kylo watched her go before turning to finalize the plans. They would go alone, while the Jensaarai helped track Acolyte movement - and Leia helped with the death waves.

* * *

The ship dropped out of hyperspace right above Carida, where the Jensaarai vision had directed them. Kylo stood, walking through the curved bridge between the bunk and cockpit. He had finally convinced Rey to rest before they arrived, on the promise that he wake her before they landed - she was very particular about not waking up on unfamiliar planets.

When he stepped into her bunkroom, Kylo saw her body jerking with tremors, eyelids fluttering with whatever she dreamt about. She had been having more nightmares he knew, since the dream-walk and her conversation with the Eremite, and wondered what it was that had her so scared.

Squatting to her level, he watched as she huddled in on herself, wishing he could soothe her mind for a time. But she had avoided him at night, no longer needing to stay close for warmth and comfort.

Kylo pressed a hand against her cheek, "Rey, time to wake up."

As he touched her she jerked up, her hand thrusting in front of her on instinct, pushing him back as it connected with his chest. Rey gasped as she opened her eyes and heard his surprised cough, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you."

Kylo just waved away her apology, voice hoarse as he replied, "It's fine - we're here."

He left without waiting for her response, and when they buckled into their pilot seats all was forgotten with the rush of their journey.

"It's the settlement there," he said, pointing to a location on the map projected on the screen. Rey nodded and dove into the planet as Kylo shifted, checking his weapons belt and lightsaber. Acolytes were sure to be here somewhere.

Rey's gasp pulled him from his preoccupation and he looked at the pillar of smoke down below.

"I think we're too late, Kylo," her voice quivered.

"Land us, we need to check for survivors," was all he said as his voice took on the commanding business-tone that she recognized now as Leia's. He transmitted a message as they landed, short and informing Luke of their arrival and initial report.

Rey set them softly on the ground on the edge of the settlement's walls; Kylo saw no blazing fire, just smoke as he jumped out of the seat and tossed Rey's pack to her before strapping on his own. They were filled with medical and food supplies just in case.

The clumps of dirt and rock crunched under their boots as they walked towards the crumbling walls, both of them gripping their lightsabers, Force at the edge of their consciousness and ready to spring at their command.

Kylo climbed through the hole in the gate first, dropping to the ground, swallowing a convulsion as he realized the extent of the death. He felt Rey's light feet hit the ground behind him and turned to her as she gasped, pulling her into his chest.

He held still for her, eyes roaming the buildings and placement of the bodies, calculating. They didn't seem injured - or sick, but a few of the buildings had caught fire.

Rey pulled away and he began walking down the path between the buildings, feeling her horror as she followed him.

"How are we supposed to stop this?" Her voice was shaky, lost; Kylo ignored the question.

He didn't have any answers for her this time.

They covered the entire area, walked the perimeter, not one sign of life or injury; the charred buildings simply that - not destroyed or otherwise targeted. Kylo couldn't make any sense of it, and as they stood in the center of town he turned to Rey and sighed, pulling his gloves off without explanation.

"Kylo, you can't do that here - it'll be too much-"

She was right, but they had no choice; whatever was happening here was apparently on them to fix.

"I have this gift for a reason, don't I?" He ground out, and Rey realized again how much the Force had crafted him as an instrument to its will. If his grandfather had been designed in part by the Sith, was Kylo its response?

She had no response to that and he bent one knee, taking a deep breath before he pressed a hand to the ground. For a moment, nothing happened, but when he released the hold on the Force it rushed through him with a vengeance and for once he cried out in pain.

All he felt was agony, the collective pain of hundreds of people as they fell. Then the scene bloomed in his mind and he fell forward, both hands digging into the earth.

It all happened at once - people living and laughing, and then the earth rumbled before an invisible explosion ripped into the town, their blood vessels bursting in response before their hearts stopped. They dropped dead all at once, screams cut into silence.

Kylo cried out, his nails beginning to bleed as he clawed at the ground. They were all dead, what else was doing this? What else could it do to him?

Rey watched with horror as he convulsed, refusing to let go, screams of anger ripping out of his throat. She knelt in front of him, taking a deep breath as she placed her hands on top of his, expecting to be catapulted into the vision as well.

But she wasn't - whatever was happening with him went beyond his usual experience with Force Memory. Rey gripped his hands, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his as his body froze, an echo of the moment in Luke's training room.

Kylo was lucid enough to feel her make contact and he pulled her power from her, hearing her gasp as he mixed it with his own. As it built, something green and luminescent began coiling around them, and Kylo poured all of his devastation and power instinctually into it until it morphed from light to something solid. Tendrils swirling around them growing in size and number, the intensity of its light nearly burning their skin.

With a haggard breath, Kylo breathed life into it and the luminescence exploded in a circle around them, washing over the entire town. He held it as long as he could, pressing it wider and wider until he collapsed on the ground, unconscious.

* * *

The first thing he heard was distant laughter - kids, not Rey's. He opened his eyes and winced at even the low light, his muscles aching with a strange phantom pain.

"Kylo," a relieved voice made him turn his head as he laid there.

"Rey," he rasped, coughing as he realized he must have been out for a while.

"Nearly three days," Rey answered without him even asking. They were doing that more and more lately, he noted. Their boundaries thinning with trust - or familiarity.

He had never had that with Luke, although he had read sometimes of deep bonds between Jedi and wondered.

"I was so scared - that pulse - and then you just collapsed, barely breathing," Rey had faint dark circles under her eyes as they roamed his face.

"I heard something just now-"

"They're survivors, Kylo - whatever you did, it woke some of them up." Rey scrunched her nose as she tilted her head, "They're all force sensitives, I feel them - only a dozen or so, but they were in some kind of coma and then they just woke up. We were waiting for you."

Her worry was palpable and he tried to sit up to allay her concern, but only managed a few inches until she helped, resting him against the wall.

"One of them wanted to talk to us, but I asked him to wait," he sighed and nodded to her unspoken question and she left to collect one of the survivors.

He flexed his muscles in rotation, arms, stomach, legs - testing responses and pain. His mind was cloudy, turbulent. On the edge of snapping. Rey came back, a man following behind her, and she handed Kylo a skin of water which he downed eagerly.

"First, I must thank you - Rey explained, what you did - who you are. We won't forget this," the man said - he wore plain clothes and a vest of faded red and Kylo wondered idly what they did and why they were here in the first place. "Second - you should know, before - what happened - a group appeared. They just passed through, looking for something, they wouldn't say what. Had some device that they held up wherever they went. They left within a day or two."

"Acolytes," Rey said, and Kylo nodded, not trusting his control. "What did they look like?"

The man hesitated, "I don't remember much, they all had the same clothes - the one with the device, though, she had bright purple hair and I think blue skin."

"Kiza," Rey breathed, and Kylo blinked in confusion.

They thanked the man and he left in a hurry, his gratefulness not extending to being in the same room as someone like Kylo. Whatever happened was surely something dark, powerful.

"I need to get back to talk to Luke. I don't know what happened, Rey," his eyes slid shut, too exhausted to say anymore. Rey nodded as she gathered their packs, lighter as she had given the bulk of their supplies to the survivors, who had assured her they would be okay. She was sure Leia would have someone sent to them to help with the rebuild.

Kylo was pulled up by two men, arms resting on their shoulders as he stumbled with them to the ship. If this was the price they had to pay each time, he would be dead within a week.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's really no excuse as this thing has been written since april, but I hope you enjoy it.g onna post the last four this week.

Three days after their return, Kylo was finally able to move on his own and Rey felt safe enough to leave him to handle things with Luke. It was the first time they had willingly parted in months and Kylo swallowed the words that would make it harder for her to leave as he bent down slowly, kissing her cheek as he said he'd see her soon.

She blinked, surprised by the boldness, but gave him a quick nod before running into her ship's loading bay.

Kylo took a deep breath as he stood outside of his uncle's office, knowing both his mother and Luke were sitting there waiting for his debriefing.

They needed a plan - and soon. The warning they got from the Jensaarai had not been fast enough, and the early warning signals helped but in the end - the only real solution was targeting the Acolytes. Where they went, the death wave would soon appear.

He pushed through the doors, the conversation stopping abruptly as Leia smiled at him, "Ben, I'm glad you're here."

Kylo edged closer, reluctantly sitting in the chair next to her, responding only with a nod before looking at Luke.

"The acolytes appeared to be measuring something before the wave hit, I'm not sure what - but they appeared for a day and shortly after they left, the wave struck," he recited what the witness had reported, struggling to keep his tone even.

"It paralyzed the force sensitives and killed the others?" Luke asked and Kylo simply nodded, "What did you see - what happened?"

Kylo took a deep breath - he had never talked about his sensitivity to force memory with them before, but it was unavoidable now.

"When I touch things, I'm often thrust into memories - this time, I saw the ripple. It was as if the air was thick with water and the power shot through it, leaving waves. Where it touched, everything died - or went into a coma." Kylo shuddered as he remembered the pain of a hundred deaths, the screams echoing in his head. His fingers flexed, the leather of his gloves twisting around the edges of the chair.

"It became - too much," he knew no other way to explain it. "I drew on my power instinctually - and Rey's, when she came to my aid. It manifested in green light surrounding us, before I pushed it away from us, a reversal of the wave. I passed out - when I woke, Rey explained what happened."

The room was deathly silent as the twins took in the magnitude of what Kylo had done; he had always been powerful, but whatever was at play was something beyond their wildest fears.

Leia moved first, reaching out to rest her hand on his softly, undemanding. "I'm so sorry, Ben."

A deep, shuddering exhale followed, unable to form words. He didn't move away from her hand, though.

"It is likely the acolytes are taking advantage of certain areas - probably related to the weak spots caused by the force wound," Luke explained. "We've read about force bleeds in our research, very rare - but some areas in the galaxy are easier to manipulate than others. Sith tended to gravitate towards them, for example."

It had never occurred to Kylo why there would be some places darker than others. "And what about what I did?"

Luke hesitated, "I'd have to look, but whatever it was - I doubt there's precedent. It's as if you absorbed the destructive energy and pushed it back out, giving it back to the others. It would explain why the Force sensitives survived - their energy was ripped away, but given back."

"What about the others?"

"You can't bring someone back from the dead," Luke sighed.

"So what's the plan?" Leia finally asked, ever the practical one.

"We can't know where they'll attack next unless we track them - we have to destroy the acolytes once and for all," Kylo laid it out for them. Each step of the plan and his history with the dark agents - where to find them, how to track them. Leia listened intently, but Luke's face grew more concerned with each word.

"I don't believe that's the answer, we need to focus on how to heal the wound. It would save the needless slaughter - we cannot use these people as bait," Kylo looked at his uncle in shock.

"They're not being used as bait,  _ uncle.  _ And as much as I'm eager to find out what I'm supposed to do with the wound - what  _ Rey  _ and I are supposed to do - no one seems to have any other ideas on it." He stood up and began to pace, "This is not about a lust for violence - if we find them, we have to be prepared to end it. Rey and I will do what we can, but when the time comes-"

"We'll be ready, Ben," his mother's voice was firm and she gave her twin a hard stare, daring him to disagree.

He waved his hand, "Fine - but  _ only  _ if necessary and only if we find out their endgame location. There will always be a ground zero, let's find theirs."

"The Jensaarai have agreed to help as well," Kylo was relieved that his mother supported the decision, even if it was surprising.

"Jedi should never immediately look to violence," Luke was reproachful and Kylo finally turned to leave, not wanting to fight.

"I told you before - I'm not a Jedi, uncle."

* * *

_ His body convulsed on the floor, sweat from the pain covering his body, clothes sticking to skin. Dreams weren't supposed to be painful. _

_ "It's not a dream, Kylo Ren." _

_ Kylo's eyes opened at the words, the voice for once close and in his ears rather than his head. Movement was excruciating as he lay trapped on the floor staring at the ceiling wondering if this was what it was like to die. _

_ "You'll find that out soon enough - you are not dead yet. Our shared consciousness has grown stronger in your weakened state. Soon I will have full control." _

_ The voice edged closer and finally stepped to the side of his body, tilting its head to stare down at the eternally lost Kylo Ren. A human man looked down at him, hair and beard greying with age; Kylo was struck with how similar he was to Luke - but other. Clothed in white and black armor and a dragon carved into its center. _

_ "Valkorion," Kylo hissed, finally having a name to the presence that had stalked and pushed at his mind for nearly three decades. _

_ "You always were quite the scholar," he tsked, lingering between pride and annoyance. _

_ Kylo struggled against his bonds, knowing that there was no reasoning with the Eternal Emperor - a Sith who had lived countless lives, mastered the art of consciousness transfer. _

_ "You were supposed to have died on Zakuul - your family celebrated as they cut you down," he pushed down the desperation at realizing who he was up against. _

_ "Yes, well - you of all people should know that someone like me would have a back-up plan," Valkorion waved a hand and Kylo sprang free, pushing off the ground to watch him as his chest pounded. _

_ "Do the Acolytes know what monster they're bringing forth? That if you had your way, the entire galaxy would be swallowed whole?" Kylo had read the stories - all of the horrors - of the Sith who was all at once Tenebrae, Vitiate, Emperor - and Valkorion. _

_ "We're alike, you and I," the man ignored his questions as he circled his new host's body. "Both obsessed with knowledge - the  _ truth  _ of things, as it were. Shedding our identities for one we forged with blood." _

_ He walked towards Kylo, staring into his eyes, measuring his worth, "But you are weak where I am not." _

_ "You were driven by fear and a lust for power, don't talk to me about being weak." Kylo's fists clenched, struggling for the control that had always eluded him; the presence of darkness itself seemed to draw him in, stoking the anger and resentment resting in the back of his mind. “You could never have passed the Priestess trials and so you resort to  _ this.”

_ Valkorion pursued immortality out of fear of death - and losing his power. Kylo was nothing like him. _

_ A hand shot out and gripped Kylo's neck, lifting him off the ground with ease, the dark plane they were on seeming to shift with the pull of power. "You would have been mine months ago had it not been for  _ her.  _ But my time will come, I have been patient, waiting for a suitable host to manifest. She loves you - do you think she'll notice the difference when she's bearing my children? Will she even care by then?" _

_ Kylo's feet dangled as he struggled for air, the fist closing around his windpipe with each passing second. His head became lighter and lighter, until he was dropped to the ground, gasping for breath. The Eternal Emperor sneered and smashed his face with his booted foot, knocking Kylo unconscious. _

* * *

"BEN!" Her scream ripped out of her as she sat up in her bed in the Jensaarai village, cold sweat covering her skin. Rey buried her hands in her head, shuddering with fear. Their linked dreams had increased in both power and frequency in the past weeks, and being separated from him made waking so much worse.

He seemed okay when they spoke with commlinks, but at night - Valkorion would take over. The voice that had haunted him since childhood finally had a name. It made her shudder, remembering what Kylo had told her about him. She didn't know what happened in the dreams, only the emotions Kylo felt - which was almost always an overwhelming amount of fear, anger, and pain.

Knowing she would be unable to sleep any longer, Rey staggered out of bed, grabbing her lightsaber from the table before walking into the dark of night towards the sparring ring.

When they had been here earlier, she had been reluctant to do any kind of exercises or training, needing for once the tranquility of her mind rather than physical exertion. It seemed that her and Kylo had switched - Rey needing the quiet of meditation, Kylo needing the action.

Now though, her form exercises were her only solace as she whipped around, yellow light arcing; she focused on her footwork, remembering vividly Kylo's soft voice as he stressed its importance.

She hated being away from him almost as much as she hated admitting it - needing his presence.

But she needed help from the Jensaarai, and he stayed to help his mother and uncle with the search for more information on the death waves. There was a pattern, a reason the Acolytes were causing them - and it was linked to the wound. Rey knew at some point they would be forced into action again. And so she prepared.

"Since you're up, let us start," a woman called out to her. Saarai-kaar. Her great-grandmother. It still felt strange to have a family, especially a formidable one like the Jensaarai.

Rey finished her last movement, twisting the saberstaff across her body, deactivating it as she left the training area, following the old woman.

"We'll work in the temple," Rey nodded as she slung her bag around her body. She still didn't feel completely at home here, hard to kick a lifetime of distrust in just a few short weeks. No one seemed to mind her standoffishness, though.

They walked in silence, through the doorway marked by the still-strange language.

"What are the markings for? You have them here, and I've seen them on skin," the Seneschals who had greeted them had the tattoos across their brow, as did the young woman who had spoken with her during their last visit. But not all of them.

"The ones on the door are markers in memory of those among us who have died one way or another," there were nearly a hundred markings as Rey looked back at them, wondering if her parents were on there. "Those who choose to learn the dream-walk, train in the Sight, and become Jensaarai are tattooed once they have completed the training. It is not something they can undertake until they have reached maturity."

It was different from the Jedi, then - Kylo had explained they would take force sensitive children at a very young age to begin training. They would have no family but the Jedi.

"Let me see what you brought," Saarai-kaar's voice interrupted her musings and Rey opened her bag, taking out the Sith holocron she had snatched in the Observatory.

"I don’t know why I took it," she confessed as she set it in the woman's hands. "Kylo warned me not to touch anything."

"He wasn't wrong - Sith loved to curse their objects, possession is a concern if you are not prepared." Siv turned it in her hands, examining it, "This one is safe - you want to open it?"

"Yes - I'm not sure what's in it, but Luke suggested that me stealing it may not have been an accident," Rey shifted awkwardly, never comfortable at the idea of being used - even by the Force. Watching the woman touch it without fear she asked, "If possession is a concern, why were you not afraid to touch it?"

"I was prepared for it - and you've handled it with no issue," she looked at Rey with amusement before handing it back to her. "It will require you to use what the Sith considered the dark side of the Force - we do not call it that, the Force is simply a pool of energy. However, you must be careful not to drown in it."

Rey nodded and sat down on the ground, legs crossed as the woman settled into her chair. Kylo should be here, she thought - he would be concerned, but the curiosity would overpower him as it always does. Saarai-kaar watched her smiling as the girl held the holocron in her lap.

"It is just like any other memory storage device, so close your eyes," Rey ran her hands across the edges of the pyramid-shaped object, doing as told. "Open your senses, regulate your breathing, let the universe's energy flow through you."

Her thoughts raced to the time in the desert, Kylo's voice walking her through his meditations - he sought for answers there, and Rey realized she was as well. His voice was low and soothing, nothing like the woman who now spoke, telling her to build a tether, a strong memory - as close to the light and herself as she could get.

It didn't take long to find it, as the memory of Kylo holding her as she cried for her parents in her childhood home, realizing the extent of their choices. It wasn't the brightness that Kylo had described when he did the same during the acolytes' attempt, but it warmed her soul.

"Good," Siv spoke as if from far away, feeling Rey's presence centering into place. "Now take the device in your hands. Feel the shadow of the Force, the destruction that must follow creation. Dive into it, letting it fill you -  and then release it from your body into the holocron."

Rey remembered what it was like to dive deeper and deeper, losing all reason and care as she had kissed him, feeding off the darkness that rested on the edges of his consciousness. She did as told, letting it fill her up, assaulted by all the negative feelings she had ever harbored. Resentment toward everyone - mostly her parents for leaving her in so many ways, with the Anchorites for their harsh ways, the acolytes for their terrible intent - Kylo, for making her need him.

"Don't lose yourself, Rey," the voice echoed in her head as if very far away. "Remember your waypoint."

And in the midst of the destructive feelings swimming around her, she did - and her goal was clear, draining all of the negativity into her hands and the pyramid in them. As the last bit washed away, a light surrounded her and she opened her eyes to red rays bursting from the holocron as it lifted out of her hands and floated a few feet above the ground.

The Saarai-kaar was nowhere to be seen, and Rey assumed she had left her once it had been opened. The sides of the device fell open and a persona seemed to materialize, similar to the Eremite - but with a white hue rather than blue.

"What is it you seek?" Rey was taken aback by the emptiness in the voice, but Kylo had told her that most holocrons were glorified libraries - the Eremite's had been unique.

"I'm not sure."

"I will walk you through the categories of my knowledge," the Sith's voice grew more lifelike, emotive as he repeated the dozen or so labels. Rey listened intently, having no idea what she was even supposed to be looking for or learning.

She had slowly begun to understand that the Force guidance Kylo spoke of wasn't a conscious thing, but instead the instincts that she had honed from birth. Remembering how she had intuitively known her parents' emotions and sometimes thoughts, even surprising them.

And Kylo, too - he had been especially sensitive to those things, even now.

When the Sith called out the last category, Rey's mind clicked, "That one - let's start there."

"It is one of the most powerful abilities I learned, are you prepared?"

"Yes."

* * *

Days later, the only thing she had mastered was opening the holocron. Rey stayed in her home from dawn til dusk studying with the Sith's phantom, then she would sleep and again be plagued by Kylo's nightmares. They hadn't spoken since she started working on the holocron, knowing she wouldn't be able to keep it from him - and that he would worry when he needed to focus on his own task.

In the middle of the fourth day, Rey shut it down, exhausted and mentally drained; she wandered down the paths of the village aimlessly, ignoring the looks people gave her.

Before she realized it, her feet had taken her to her great-grandmother's home and without hesitation she knocked gently on the side, "Siv?"

"Come in, Rey," she stepped through the threshold and collapsed to the seat in front of her. "You're not getting any rest."

It wasn't a question, but Rey took the opening, "I've been having nightmares."

"Because of the Sith?" The Saarai-kaar's voice was sharp, and Rey felt the woman's inspection of her mind before pulling back, apparently satisfied. "No, you share another's dreams."

The way she said it made Rey flush and lean forward, curling inwards, making herself smaller. She didn't like how easily read she was with Kylo, as if it was something she wanted to keep close - and secret.

"You are linked to him," the woman continued.

"I don't know," Rey admitted - she had dreamed of him before they met, but this was another thing - greater frequency and intensity.

"That boy is all twisted up and I know what troubles you. Your will is strong - keep yourself balanced and all will follow," there was a long pause as she considered her next words. "Kylo understands the will of the Force more than I've ever seen, but you are a riverbreaker - and will do what is necessary."

"Sometimes we have to make the hard choice," Rey recalled the Eremite's words, still feeling confident in her choice.

"Yes. It is why you are here, even if you don't realize it yet."

Rey stayed the rest of the day, drinking tea and talking about the training woes of the village, and when Rey returned home she slept through the night.

* * *

Kylo struggled to his feet, his heart racing from the not-dream state. He ran through the courtyard to the opposite edge, slamming his hands against the door. It went on for a minute until finally it slide up, revealing the Master Jedi whose entire attention focused on Kylo.

"I need everything we have on Vitiate."


	19. Chapter 19

Boots echoed along the marble floor as Kylo stalked out of the library, away from his uncle's patronizing lecture -  _ another  _ one in a string of many. In a shadowy echo of the last time he had stormed out of the temple, the darkness that had begun to take him over made the flowers in the courtyard whither as he past.

Luke followed him this time, not ready to let his nephew topple headfirst into danger.

The ship -  _ her  _ ship - was slowly descending from atmo in preparation to land on their platform.

"Kylo, you  _ can't  _ go," Luke urged again. "You know what will happen - what it will cost."

"Wouldn't the Jedi say it was worth it?" He sneered, throwing back his uncle's lofty altruism, the hypocrisy when it came to his family. His attachments.

The ship set down and the ramp began to descend and Kylo took off for it without waiting for a response from him. It was never good enough - whatever Kylo did, or decided, he couldn't make them happy. They had spent days researching the man who was once Valkorion - Tenebrae, Vitiate -  and with each piece of information the future grew more bleak.

Kylo was halfway up the ramp when Rey came into view, "We need to leave - now."

She shot him a look, eyebrow raised at his tone, but he ignored it and slumped into the co-pilot's seat, head falling back against it with a thud. Rey looked out and saw Luke standing there with a grave expression on his face. The sky was dark, threatening rain - they would be grounded there if she stayed.

But she didn't argue - the faster they got to the location the Saarai-kaar had identified with Leia's help, the more deaths they could prevent.

Rey launched the ship, grateful she didn't need to refuel - Kylo would have been unbearable. The ship was silent, tension rolling off of him in waves; she let it continue until she punched in the coordinates and the ship zipped into hyperspace.

Leaning back in the chair, she propped her feet on the edge of the console, legs bending towards her chest as she rested her arms on her knees.

She sat staring at the stars they passed, the whirling maelstrom of lights, before finally speaking, "So what happened?"

"The voice is visiting me now. I know who it is," the words tumbled out of him, as if he was waiting for her to ask but unwilling to bring it up himself. Kylo sunk lower in the chair, legs spreading out in front of him as he steeled himself for the conversation.

"I felt you, when it visited it - they were nightmares to me," Rey confessed and he looked at her, alarmed.

"Did he see you - talk to you?" The urgent tone made her hair raise and she just shook her head.

"It was just like a nightmare, that's all. Every night."

He couldn't stop plaguing her even when they were separated, Kylo thought darkly. "We're not sure the  _ how,  _ but - his name is Valkorion and he is very, very old. A powerful Sith who practiced transferring his consciousness - he's been dead for thousands of years."

Rey looked over at his slumped body, the realization of what he had been fighting his entire life had hit him hard. "And that's who the Acolytes are trying to bring back?"

"Yes - he's said as much. When I'm weakened, he visits me - it's so much worse than the voice, Rey," his voice shook, low with the confession as if ashamed. “The place is cold, blank - an echo of our world, its shadow.”

Rey dropped her feet to the ground and walked over to him, standing between his legs as he looked up at her with desperation. She ran her fingers through his hair before she sat on his thigh, her legs swinging over his other and dangling on the side of the seat.

"He's powerful," Kylo continued, as if not fully registering her closeness. Rey leaned her head against his shoulder, hands resting in her lap as his arms pulled her tight. He began to relax slowly, the ship’s hum lulling them into quiet. Rey felt each slow breath as it went by, "I haven't figured out how to stop him."

Rey didn't know what to say, but she turned her head and pressed a soft kiss against his neck, feeling him shudder before pulling back.

"There's always a way,” she whispered against his skin.

* * *

Kylo sensed it as soon as they broke through the planet's atmosphere, "We're too late."

"Do you sense the acolytes?" Rey asked quickly as her fingers flicked controls, sparing a small glance for him.

Kylo shook his head, "No - but there's definitely something wrong. Stay high, hover over the town - don't land yet."

Stopping her descent, she flew directly to the dot on the radar that Leia had been able to pinpoint given the Jensaarai's vision. As they pulled closer, nothing seemed amiss - no smoke from burning buildings, no destruction at all. Rey was about to say something when Kylo stretched his arm out, pointing to the outskirts.

"There, watch," the ground seemed to rumble from what they could tell - the air shifting like it had in his force memory experience. Kylo realized with growing dread the amount of people they were about to feel die. "You're going to feel this."

The warning came too late and Rey doubled over as the wave hit the town, slowly killing and incapacitating its inhabitants. She coughed and sputtered from the sudden void in the force, turning to Kylo - who seemed to be feeding off of it.

It passed faster than she expected and without giving her time to think, he urged her to land in the center of town.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Remembering the toll it took last time it was hard not to be concerned for his mental and physical state.

Kylo simply shrugged, face focused as he walked down the ship's ramp onto the dirt, boots sinking slightly into the ground from the pressure. Rey took the hand he extended as he sat down, crossing his legs.

"You know what to do?" He simply nodded at her, after talking it through with Luke it became clear - take the energy and push it back out. In its most basic form, that was what it took.

It was more complicated, but they just had to watch hundreds of people die and he had to do everything in his power to fix it.

"Next time - we have to get there first," he vowed and Rey nodded as he closed his eyes, gripping both of her hands.

He pulled on their power and the residual energy from the wave, pouring it into his consciousness, sliding down like sick serum. The green luminescence began to swirl again, twisting around them in a cocoon. Kylo let it build until his body began to convulse and he pushed the energy out in circles, the tremors fading as the energy ran out of him, ripping away violently.

They were prepared for the aftermath this time as his body slumped forward onto hers, the green lights dissipating immediately. Rey pulled her arms around him, face wet with tears. She had never felt so helpless.

* * *

Kylo woke slowly, a piercing headache forcing his eyes to remain shut as he felt around on the bed, shifting to his side and sighing. He wondered how long he had been out for - it felt longer than before, which would make sense. Whatever he was doing, it wasn't sustainable.

The only good thing about expending so much energy that your body and mind shut down for days on end was that Valkorion could not visit him. He had stopped the pretense of trying to convert him through the voice, make him a willing supplicant - sacrifice - for his resurrection. Now he tormented him in the void, erasing any benefit sleeping brought.

Kylo opened his eyes as he felt her presence and smiled when he saw her standing in the doorway. Rey stared back, searching his face for something, quiet.

"We're on our way to the next location - Leia sent aid to the people we rescued," her voice was shaky with uncertainty and he shifted back on the bed a little.

They regarded each other in silence, a strange twisting tension between them.

"You were quiet, for a while," he murmured. "When you were on Susevfi."

It broke the tension and Rey walked up to the bed, laying down to face him, a large space separating them. Her hand rested in between and as the silence dragged on, Kylo moved his to slide over her palm, lacing their fingers together. Anything to stay connected to her as she drifted in thought.

"I took a Sith holocron from the Observatory," she confessed, and Kylo showed no reaction, his thumb never ceasing its slow caresses on the back of his hand. He had warned her, but if she didn't listen - there was good reason. And she was safe which was all that mattered right now.

"I tried to learn something," her voice wavered with emotion and he ached to take her in his arms, but held back. He knew it would be a step too far right now; she had to come to him. Tears spilled over, hating that she had failed. "I wasn't strong enough - skilled enough. I'm sorry."

Kylo didn't understand why she was apologizing, but he soothed her with consoling words until eventually she moved closer to him. His arms pulled her the rest of the way, grateful to have her near.

"I'm scared," she said after so long he thought she might have been asleep.

_ What are you scared of?  _ The ability to speak to her this way had become easier, feeling more natural than ever before - that they had been able to do it from the start should have been a sign. Another one he had missed in a long string.

_ Everybody leaves,  _ was all she said, and his arms pulled her tighter in response.

* * *

This time, they were able to intercept a dozen acolytes before they triggered whatever caused the waves. Rey set the ship on the ground, coming to stand next to Kylo as they pulled out their lightsabers, ready for the attack - their arrival was not quiet.

Kylo hit the button and the ramp dropped down, thumb sliding against the ignition switch as they walked down, probing for possible locations.

That it was twelve versus two was not cause for concern - not that they had much choice, waiting for anyone else was not an option.

"There, in the grasses," was all he said as both of them turned and took off head first into the knee-high yellow grass. Rey let out a feral scream from deep within her as they revealed themselves and she ignited her saber. Kylo tried to focus on something other than the way she fought them after one of the acolytes' blasters caught him on the edge of his arm.

He grunted and used the Force to propel him forward, slicing the offender's body in a diagonal arc in one movement, his purple blade spinning in the sun as he turned to the next one.

"Distracted, lover boy?" One of the masked men taunted, Kylo shook off his confusion from the nickname as they fought. This acolyte was armed with a vibroblade and each time his lightsaber made contact, Kylo's arms shook with the effort.

More acolytes appeared around him, and Kylo tamped down panic for Rey as he sensed - and heard - her not far from him. The acolytes seemed to be focusing their attention on Kylo, which was well enough - he twisted the hilt of his sword as he crouched low, ready for their attack.

They moved as one and Kylo spun, swinging his lightsaber in an arc, creating a space between them - his hand pushing out, making two of them stumble backwards as he focused on the other three.

One managed to slice him along his back and he grunted, pulling on the pain, fueling the rage as he darkened, stalking towards his prey.

He slammed his foot into the chest of one of them, hearing the crunch of his ribs with a sick satisfaction before he ran his saber through his stomach. The others taunted him in their usual way, voices muffled from his battle lust. His eyes seemed to glaze over, his limbs controlled by someone else as each acolyte fell.

Kylo ripped the vibroblade from one of the corpse's hands and twirled both weapons as he approached the last one, fear finally present in the way they scrambled backwards, falling to the ground.

"You can't stop this, there's only one of you and hundreds of us."

"With each death I grow stronger," Kylo spoke, but the words weren't his own - voice strong and disembodied as he thrust his lightsaber into him, stopping his heart at the same time with the Force.

Kylo heard no more sounds of fighting as he walked back to the road, immediately seeing Rey standing in front of an acolyte as they knelt on the ground in surrender.

"You can join him," he was saying. "You would be a magnificent mate for Valkorion."

So it was true - and they knew Kylo was aware of it now. He circled the prisoner, evaluating him.

"Why did you surrender?"

"Nothing you do will stop us," he taunted. "The woman should understand that - she is more worthy than you of Sith."

The Acolyte spit at Kylo's feet and he turned to look at Rey, who looked shaken by something.

"We're glad she found you - now Valkorion will have strong children to continue his Eternal Empire."

"You know," Kylo dragged his eyes from her face, squatting down to eye level with the prisoner. "His ultimate goal is the destruction of the Galaxy - what place do your brethren have in such a world?"

"We gladly sacrifice ourselves for him - he is a God!"

Kylo stood, his intentions clear, but Rey finally seemed to snap out of it. "Kylo, we need to take him with us, find out what he knows - Luke says that there must be an origin point - he clearly knows something."

She tugged on his arm, but he didn't budge, the rage from earlier still coursing through his body as he looked down at part of the cult that had pursued him for years.

_ Yes, Kylo Ren. Think of how different your life would have been had they not existed - isn't the galaxy better off without him? _

For once, Kylo agreed as he ignited his saber and sliced off the Acolyte's head in one swift movement, ignoring Rey's anger as he turned and began the long walk back to their ship.

Rey pulled up next to him and he slowed his walk to match her own, waiting for her condemnation of his actions. It never came, walking in silence for a few minutes until Kylo broke it on his own.

"Valkorion said you would bear my children, never knowing it was him and not me," he said quietly, the rage slaking away and fear filling up the emptiness.

"I would know the difference, Kylo - don’t you trust that?" Rey needed him to understand - she  _ knew  _ him; the idea of having his children, though, was -

Warm.

It was the only word she could use to describe the feeling the thought caused, and looked up at him as they walked, watching him turn over her promise in his head.

He would make a good father. If he wanted her.

"Of course I want you, Rey," he stopped and looked at her with shock. How could she not realize?

"I don't know why we're so wrapped up in each other," Rey confessed her fear as he stepped closer to her.

"Does it matter? Do we need a reason for this?" Kylo's eyes flicked across her face, taking in the myriad of emotions that raced through her. He was right - they didn't need a reason for it.

Rey knew he wanted her to kiss him, to push up on her feet and press her lips to his. But she didn't, the Eremite's words echoing in her again.

Kylo sensed her decision and stepped back, nodding before they continued their walk back. She would have to choose, eventually. They always did.

* * *

With each stop, they killed more - culling dozens of Acolytes over days, and with each one Kylo fell slower into the shadows of his own mind. Valkorion pushed at the boundaries of his sanity as they faced each other in his mind night after night, the presence growing stronger.

He was trapped there, where no light shone - nothing to tether his mind or soul, just an unrelenting darkness. This was a place someone like Valkorion thrived, where the power to manipulate and influence was greatest. They sat staring at each other in the shadow world of the ship where Kylo's body slept.

"My family betrayed me - spiteful children and wife. You should thank me for saving you from the continuing disappointment that families are to you," Valkorion mused, his eyes glowing, betraying the depth of his corruption in this place.

"I'm not going to go willingly," Kylo insisted, pushing against the blanket of darkness that the words caused. Valkorion had been a part of him for so long - he knew the exact strings to pull and make his will waver.

"Of course you will - it will become too much, this double-life you lead. Does she know when I'm in control?"

He knew the answer and saw Kylo's body vibrate with rage, "You're lying, you don't control me. Not yet."

"Am I? Do you think you're always sleeping when we're here, talking?" Valkorion stepped to him, hands reaching out to wrap Kylo in purple bindings as his body lifted off the ground. He leaned in, so close Kylo saw the rings of yellow around his iris, "She whispers to me, her soul cries out for the strength  _ I  _ bring - not your pathetic control."

He released the bonds and Kylo's body flew through the doorway and into the wall of the ship, sliding down to the floor.

"I'm still human," Kylo threatened.

Valkorion laughed, "And just as weak."

Kylo coughed into the floor as the scene spun and he was catapulted back into his body.

The first thing he felt was the rage coursing through his hand as he was held out to a paralyzed Rey, she was gasping for air high on the wall, feet kicking. Kylo cut it off, dropping her with a horrified look.

"Rey - I didn't know, I thought I was asleep," his throat was hoarse as she gasped for air, alarm in her eyes as she hunched over.

She didn't say anything, sitting on the floor as her back pressed against the wall. They watched each other as the ship moved to its next location, hours passing. Finally, Rey stood and walked past him to the cockpit.

"We'll be arriving soon, Luke says this is the last stop in the chain before the origin point," her voice was emotionless and Kylo began to shut down. Luke, Leia, and Siv had realized the pattern - a spiral of points looping towards the center, the origin. Just as Luke had expected.

It was Devaron, a long-buried planet with a strong Force presence despite its limited inhabitants.

As he sat in the co-pilots seat and strapped in, Kylo steeled himself for the next battle, pushing all thoughts and emotions away.

This time, Kylo slaughtered each Acolyte before Rey could even blink, lightning striking from his hands that chained to each one, burning them like the body in the cave so long ago. Her heart sunk as he turned to her, face blank and emotionless as he walked back to the ship without a word.

Perhaps Kylo Ren's fall was two-fold.

* * *

Rey ran to her great-grandmother, soothed and happy to see her again, trailed by a dozen Jensaarai warriors ready to fight alongside them. The past few days had been tense, Kylo slept alone in the floor of the cockpit, speaking only when necessary. He shut his mind off, eyes soulless and separate - as if his all of his attention and energy were focused elsewhere.

He had never explained what happened before - and she was too scared to ask, knowing the answer already. He was losing control with each kill.

Another ship landed shortly after the Jensaarai and Rey was almost as happy to see the Millenium Falcon again as its inhabitants.

Luke walked up to the Saarai-kaar, bowing respectfully as they measured each other. Her grandson had trusted this man who had done a great deal for the galaxy despite his legacy with the man who had killed her son.

"We have a great deal to learn from each other," she said before turning to Kylo, who stood separate from the group, looking on impassively. "You and I must talk."

Her tone brooked no argument and Rey watched Kylo follow her without a single word. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the chapter with the scene that started it all. enjoy.

The trees surrounding them were eerily silent, as if all the creatures sensed the danger coming their way as two forces collided once more in the eternal battle. The Saarai-kaar turned to Kylo, staring at him - deciding whether or not to share whatever information she held - or leave it to the unknown.

“Well, what is it?” The annoyance in his voice had an edge to it, hinting at the madness underneath - two souls warring for life.

“I can’t see your future, Kylo Ren.”

He leaned against a tree, crossing his arms as he returned her stare. What did he care what she saw or not? It was always going to end this way - everything he had done and nothing changed. The river of fate had swept him up at birth and never let him go.

“I think this is because no one - not even you or the wretched Sith soul lurking inside of you - knows how this will end. The Force has seen fit to throw a veil over it,” the woman stepped towards him, eyes darkening. “But remember this - everyone has a choice in the end. Prophecies, balance, Chosen Ones - they all fall differently depending on choices. Your time will come - what will you choose?”

“You ask an impossible question, Saarai-kaar.” He responded after long seconds staring at each other. How can he - or anyone - know what they will choose when the choices aren’t laid before them.

“Then I’ll give you some insight into this man they called Valkorion - Vitiate. Luke tells me you both are aware of him and his history." Kylo shuddered as he remembered his uncle's reaction to the late night frantic knocks at his door - it was his worst fears come to fruition.  They had spent every waking moment reading anything they could get their hands on about the once-vicious Sith Emperor who had attempted to consume the galaxy in his quest for both immortality and godhood.

The Saarai-kaar clicked her tongue at his silence, but continued. "You may have read accounts of him, but you do not know him."

"And you do?" He was just so tired - of everything, but especially the lies and obfuscations and vague warnings. It seemed his entire life was made up of these things.

"Not in the way you suggest - but men like him - power is their weakness. His hope is to destroy the galaxy, using your body and powers to do it - because he is _arrogant, mad, and power-hungry."_ She let the words sink in, looking towards where the group gathered, considering her next words carefully, "You must go through this alone. No one will be able to help you now."

Her eyes shifted back to his as he pushed off the tree.

"I know what I have to do," he ground out as he left the old woman in the clearing, the energy inside of him brimming with darkness.

* * *

A cool breeze rushed through the forest as the two groups gathered to listen to Leia's rundown - Kylo stood at the edge of the clearing, ignoring Rey's concerned looks as he focused his mind on the task at hand.

"Through these trees is the Temple of Eedit," Leia pointed to her right, though it was far enough away to be shrouded by the foliage. "It is very unstable, and the Empire installed traps inside to prevent the resettlement - so we must be vigilant even after all these years."

"The Jensaarai will lead the way, then - we will be able to sense these traps easier than those not trained," the Saarai-kaar inclined her head towards Luke.

"And I will clear the path forward - I was here before, long ago - it is completely collapsed," Luke warned. He had only been able to access the courtyard once all those years ago, before the Battle of Jakku. It was enough - the vergence of the Force here allowed him to learn the skills needed at an accelerated rate, even without the temple or its caretakers.

"Are we even sure the Acolytes are here?" Kylo finally spoke from the outside, challenging both his mother's recon intelligence and the Jensaarai's visions.

"I can sense them, Kylo," Rey had moved closer to him, her voice low. "They're here - in the temple. Don't you feel it?"

He couldn't - the Force was amplified here, but his senses were off.

"Everything is clouded," he confessed as he finally looked at her. Rey laced her hand with his and squeezed, a silent gesture in front of everyone. She had never been afraid of what he might be, what he might become.

She trusted him.

"Stay with me, and you'll be alright."

A cough pulled them out of the moment and Kylo looked up, connecting with his mother who stared at their clasped hands in approval. He scowled, face flushed.

"Kylo and I will go through the tunnels, we will find their leaders," Rey continued the briefing. Tashu and Kiza were the key; whatever dark ritual the Acolytes had planned, it would be them leading it. And regardless of the Jensaarai's self-imposed oath to control them, Rey and Kylo were the only ones powerful enough for the job.

They may not be Force users, but the artifacts they possessed gave them great powers - and it was safer for everyone if Kylo were separated from the main force.

Rey pulled away as the briefing continued, but all Kylo could do was watch her now. She wasn't safe around him; Valkorion could strike at any moment and he didn't know if he was strong enough to resist the lure.

The Republic's troops broke off to speak with their Jensaarai counterparts; it had been a long time since Force users had fought alongside soldiers for a common enemy. Kylo hoped that after this, someone would care enough to tell the tale - write it down for the next curious scholar to discover.

Han and Leia walked up to him, disrupting his musings about the novelty of it all.

"Hey kid," his father started and for once Kylo ignored the instinct to bristle as he watched the pilot's rough-shaven face shift in though, fishing for something to say. Han had never been one for words. "Just wanna say - I'm sorry I ever made you feel like you couldn't come home. You'll always be my son."

Kylo stared at him, attempting to hide his shock, but after a few moments Han nodded, satisfied with the loaded silence.

"Ben," even his birth name wasn't enough to pull him from watching his father. It felt too little too late, but the resentment that seemed to constantly pull at him was quiet for once and allowed him to feel the weight of Han's words. "Please be safe, I can't lose you again."

His mother's plea made him shut his eyes and sigh bitterly, finally unable to keep the exasperation at bay. As he opened his mouth to tell them it wasn't enough, he saw Rey standing to the side far away, watching them.

Kylo knew immediately she was crying, but trying not to. The emotions flowing around her - and he wasn't sure if he could feel them so easily because of his familiarity with her, or if everyone was simply ignoring it for the sake of propriety. Letting her grieve for parents long-dead, but still with her. Always with her.

He couldn't bring himself to not give them what they wanted, not with her there watching. For once, he swallowed his anger, "I'll do my best - the Acolytes are no match for Rey or I. Thank you. We- we'll talk after. I promise."

What Kylo didn't mention was that the real test wasn't the Acolytes or their leader.

A few minutes later, the two groups were on the move, with Rey and Kylo in the center. They would split off once they reached the temple, into the secret entrance that went under the courtyard where Luke trained all those years ago.

It was quiet, only the crunching of leaves and branches as they moved through the forest floor towards Eedit. Kylo could feel the Force thrumming through his body, the vergence amplifying and exposing all the emotions of those around him.

Fear. Resolve. Confusion. Pride.

All of these mixed together, and he wondered what they would feel if they were to sense him.

"Resignation," Rey ground out at his side, answering his unspoken thought. He blinked, having forgotten how easy it had always been for them to read each other's minds.

She said nothing else, but Kylo knew she wasn't pleased with it and so wisely kept his mouth shut for once.

Nearly half an hour later, they halted a few steps from the clearing. The temple was in full sight of him and though it was destroyed, the awe was inescapable.

Where once had been two large towers that flared into the entrance, both had fallen from the destruction the Empire had rained down on it decades ago. A magnificent staircase curved upward from the courtyard to the entrance that was blocked by rocks and rubble - what Luke will clear once they arrive.

The courtyard was overgrown with grass and flowers jutting out of the carefully placed paving stones.

"This would be mesmerizing, were it ever repaired," Rey murmured at his side and Kylo nodded, unable to disagree. But it likely never would be, and he turned to her.

"Time for us to go."

She nodded and moved to the outside of the group to find the forest entrance Luke had spoken of. Her cape fluttered gently as the breeze picked up, the intricate braid of her hair flowing down her back made his breath catch.

He stepped forward to Luke and they both had no words, having said all that was needed before he had left his temple on Chandrila. After they had learned everything about Valkorion-Once-Vitiate. Luke held out his arm and Kylo clasped his forearm in a silent understanding, for once as he stared at his uncle, all he saw was respect through his eyes.

They stayed like that for a beat longer before Kylo nodded and pulled away, following Rey's path. He ignored the rest of the eyes that followed his movements.

Rey had found the entrance with ease, right where Luke had explained - between two large trees, at an angle where both towers looked like one. The towers were crumbling, but the directions still made sense and she found the stone slab opening under the debris and overgrowth.

She reached down to touch the ground, remembering how Kylo had opened the Observatory lift doors all those months ago. After a few moments, as she connected with the Force that rumbled beneath the slab, it shifted along the ground, revealing a staircase.

"The Force is amplified here, we should have an easier time accessing it," Kylo startled her, speaking in low tones right behind her.

"I didn't hear you at all," she whispered as she turned to look at him with wide eyes. He looked resigned, haggard, with dark skin under his eyes, skin pallid with the effort of the past week. Rey wanted to touch him, let him know she was there, even after everything - but stayed silent, each regarding the other.

"We need to go, the passageway is likely to be blocked in areas," his voice was monotone - all business as he walked past her, pulling his lightsaber off his belt as he descended the short staircase to the hallway below.

Rey followed, closing the slab behind them, sending them into darkness.

"Now would be a good time to use that light ability you used when we met," he said, surprising her with his memory.

The power was at her fingertips, easier than ever before as light flowed through her palm, suffusing it as she pushed it outwards. Rey shaped it into a ball, holding her concentration on it with ease as they wandered cautiously through the passageway.

"It's unlikely the Imperial troops ever knew of this place, but there could be traps nonetheless - be on alert."

"Or Acolytes," Rey said as her eyes sharpened, pushing the light ahead as if she could use it as a scout.

The silence between them was deafening as they picked their way forward, neither one knowing what to say. Kylo had pushed all emotion and sentiment down until all that was left was his battle instincts, but he could feel Valkorion's excitement beneath the surface.

The vergence - the Force itself - cared not for the sides that they divided it into and so all parts of himself were amplified here. It was no coincidence the Acolytes had chosen this place for their final ritual.

"I thought you said it was mostly collapsed in on itself," Rey's worry was wrapped in her words and Kylo looked back at her, assessing.

"Perhaps I was wrong - it was merely speculation." They fell into silence again, until Kylo couldn't stand the tension any longer, "This is a cursed place."

"Why do you say that? Luke said it was powerful - a holy place," he huffed slightly, laughing at the twisted absurdity of torturing himself by talking so casually with her in this moment.

"This is not the first time the Acolytes have been here. It draws interest from both sects of Force worshippers - and users," Kylo explained - remembering the particular treatise he had read on his holodevice. Once the Acolytes had made themselves known, shortly after it was broadcast for the entire galaxy - and Kylo himself - that he was the only grandson of Darth Vader, he had shifted his research to them for a time.

"There was a mask - a few of them, really. Their leader, Tashu, wore one - gifted the other to his lieutenant Kiza," Rey started at the name and he remembered her recognition of the name, but hadn't asked her about it at the time. "They were possessed by the Sith harbored in them."

He fell silent as they picked their way through the rough cobbled ground, mostly covered in dirt and fallen rocks from the ceiling above. Rey waited patiently, knowing he was selecting his words carefully now. Something he had never done before, she noted with dread.

"When they arrived, the vergence gave the Sith more power - corrupted them both completely while they wore the mask. But it affected others as well. Kiza had a lover, once," Kylo finished in a low voice, hoping his fear was shut off from her for once. "They both went mad with power and fought each other over the mask. Kiza ran her sword through his heart, realizing only later - as the mask fell off."

Rey thought back to the moment in the bar, when Kiza spoke to her, the flash of pain and anger when she spoke of rescuing Kylo. A small part of Rey thought perhaps the Acolyte had given her the location out of recognition of a like-soul.

But that was impossible - Kiza would surely be here, aiding the Acolytes in their attempt to eradicate Kylo's soul in favor of their mighty Sith Emperor.

They continued the rest of the way in silence, Rey mulling over Kylo's resigned demeanor and Kiza's possible help. There was something in the story that nagged at her, but as their steps slowed when the end of the passageway came into view, her thoughts sharpened entirely on the task at hand.

"I feel them, on the other side," Kylo warned as he pulled out his lightsaber once more. "Are you ready?"

He looked over to her, at her determined face as she ignited both sides of her saberstaff, ready to launch at whatever was on the other side. The ferocity he loved shining through. She glanced at him and nodded.

Kylo waved his hand, easily shifting the stone door to the side, revealing the dimness of the main hall.

There were muffled sounds of blasters and fighting nearby, signs that their combined forces were making a go at it, distracting the Acolytes.

Rey stepped out of the opening first, Kylo following quickly.

"Hello, Rey," a voice rang out as a Pandoran woman with gold eyes stepped forward, flanked by three Acolytes in their black outfits and cloth covering their mouths. He had never noticed it before, but there were faint inscriptions in the clothing - laced in a golden color.

"Kiza," Rey hissed as she settled into a defensive position. Kylo ignited his own weapon as he watched the two women square off, wondering where Tashu was - and worried.

_This is probably a distraction, I can't see Tashu._ He sent the message to her and felt her nod in response.

"You were an interesting addition, I'll miss you," Kiza taunted, ignoring Kylo entirely. "Remember what I said, _riverbreaker."_

Kylo started at that term, realizing where Rey had learned in, but didn't have time to process as the three Acolytes launched at them. As he parried one of their blows, he saw Kiza slip the Sith mask on and cursed.

_Mask - be careful._

Rey had two Acolytes, keeping them in front of her with aggressive snaps of her staff as she pushed them into a corner. Their unusual blades were able to withstand her lightsaber's slices, causing sparks with each hit. She barely heard Kylo's grunts, or the thud of the bodies he flung into the wall, the blood rushed and pounded in her ears with the adrenaline as she spun out and sliced one of the Acolytes along their leg.

The cries of pain fueled her battle momentum and as the other one recovered, she turned to the larger of the two. Their silence was unnerving, but she pushed forward.

She remembered the way her father had moved so fluidly in the force back Kylo had shared on Jakku, trying to channel some of it - but failing. Kylo had told her that her style was always going to be personal - especially with the saberstaff, and in all of their training he had never taught her to be like him as she fought.

And so she listened, giving in to all of her natural instincts, pushing away the formality of the forms as she let out a primal yell, running at the Acolyte. Right before she got there, she used the ease with which the Force came to her here and jumped up, twisting above its head before coming down behind them, slicing the Acolyte in half. Rey blinked in surprise before she shook her head, sparing a glance for Kylo - he was holding his own against the Sith-powered Kiza, a fallen Acolyte rested in the corner.

The one she had injured before still knelt on the floor, agonizing screams coming from them as their hands grasped the leg. Without another thought, she ran her saber through his chest, feeling his life force snuff out before turning to help Kylo.

Kiza moved her unusual weapon so fast it blurred in front of Rey's eyes, Kylo's full concentration on defense as he stepped back.

She joined him at his side and heard Kiza sneer, a disembodied version of her real voice, morphed by the Mask's power.

"Is this what you really want, Kiza? After all that happened here?" Rey couldn't help but try to talk her down, ignoring Kylo's feelings of incredulity as he traded blows with her.

Kiza said nothing, separating the weapon into two as Rey joined the fray. The speed with which the Acolyte moved was the only thing keeping her alive as she fought them.

_I feel him,_ Kylo sent to her. _Tashu._

Rey felt nothing, but had never been as attuned to them as he was. She knew what he wanted to do, and shook her head.

_You can't leave me here, Kylo._

_You can handle Kiza, you know what he's doing - we have to stop him. He's in the center of the room._

And she looked towards the center of the main hall, at the edge of the massive - if shallow - crater in the floor. There, on the edge, was a black-robed Acolyte kneeling on the floor in front of something she couldn't see.

_I have to end this, Rey._

He said no more, but he used the distraction Rey caused with Kiza to summon her mask, ripping it off of her with a cry. Kylo sent it crashing to the wall, a burst of lightning coming from his hands, destroying it in a swift move.

_You'll be fine now,_ he said, feeling Rey's stunned silence, and said no more as he ran to the center, the sounds of battle still far away from the main hall.

"Guess he doesn't care for you as much as we thought," Kiza spit, now recovered from the loss of her power.

"We all have jobs to do, don't we Kiza?" Rey refused to fall for the bait, knowing that Kylo was doing what he had to - and he had evened the duel for her in the process. He was confident enough to leave her to deal with Kiza alone.

Kylo skidded to a stop as Tashu rose to his feet, chanting momentarily paused as he turned. The mask he wore was far more intricate than Kiza's, and Kylo gripped the hilt of his lightsaber tighter, the uncertainty threatening panic. With Kiza, her mask's power was as well-documented as it could be - but Tashu's was not and it set him on edge.

"Do you sense it, Kylo Ren?" Tashu taunted as he picked up his weapon, ignoring the pyramid-shaped holocrons on the ground. _Sith_ holocrons, Kylo realized darkly. "With each death, he grows stronger."

It wasn't news to him as he watched Tashu circle him slowly, keeping him in front. They were dangerously close to the massive crater's edge, and although the fall wouldn't kill them it would give either an opening to finish the job.

Valkorion fed off of death and conflict, Kylo and Luke learned - it was how he had resurrected before, although they didn't know it at the time. But they were smarter now, prepared. The Sith pressed against his consciousness, the glee palpable as Tashu finally lunged forward, striking first.

Kylo blocked it easily, stepping forward to put the Acolyte leader on the defensive immediately.

"You won't win this fight, Tashu," his voice was strong, resolved.

His weapon spun with a similar speed to Kiza's and he grinned, "I win either way, _Lost One."_

Kylo stuttered in his next step, enough to give Tashu and opening, slicing his arm before diving to pick up one of the holocrons. The cut burned unexpectedly and he had to wonder if the blade was poisoned, but could barely think about it as he registered what Tashu was holding.

The holocron flew at him and he dove to the side, just barely escaping the explosion of dark energy that escaped as it hit the ground. The Sith sometimes used these as weapons against Force or preternatural threats in fights, and once again he was grateful for his unending studies.

Tashu moved to pick up another, but Kylo was ahead of him and used the Force to throw them all away, tumbling down to the center of the crater, effectively eliminating them from the fight.

"Just you and me now," he said, twirling his lightsaber loosely in his grip as he stalked toward the Acolyte.

But Tashu refused to move, weapon resting across his body in a defensive position and as Kylo spun his lightsaber around his head, the Acolyte dropped it. The purple blade sliced him in half.

Kylo had no time to process what happened - or why. As Tashu's life extinguished, Kylo stumbled, the presence in his mind surging forward unexpectedly. His hand gripped his lightsaber hilt tightly as he hit the ground at the edge of the crater.

Somewhere seemingly far away, he heard Rey scream as his body tumbled over the edge, rolling down to the center before the darkness swallowed him.

Rey watched with horror as Kylo collapsed onto the ground after killing Tashu, her mind racing as she tried to fend off attacks from Kiza and worried about Kylo. Surely she would have felt it if he had died somehow, but in her distraction she couldn't be sure.

"What'll it be then," Kiza finally spoke as she arched her weapon down over Rey's head, golden eyes glowing. "Save lover boy, or finish the job?"

Rey shook her head, refusing to be distracted by the Acolyte's taunts. She wouldn't be able to help him until Kiza was dealt with - but Rey was tired of the dance.

Using the desperate emotions to fuel her, she pulled energy towards her before sending a blast of green light aimed directly at her opponent's chest. It lit up their part of the room and caused Kiza to stumble, pinned to the ground as Rey stalked towards her, looking down at her.

"I always finish the job," she said as she thrust her lightsaber through Kiza's heart.

Without another thought, Rey ran at full speed towards the crater, sliding down the dirt edges to where Kylo lay still, his lightsaber resting in the open palm of his hand.

She rolled him onto his back, a hand pressing into the side of his neck, checking if he was alive.

"Come on, Kylo," Rey muttered, letting out a small sob as she felt his pulse under her fingers. She watched his face, a hand swiping the hair off of his forehead. His eyelids fluttered rapidly, as if consumed by a dream.

The realization struck her with dread.

* * *

Kylo woke, his entire body aching with phantom pain as he struggled to stand. No longer in the Temple of Eedit, he was in another world, in front of a throne with three marble bridges jutting out from its edges. Between each path was a shifting expanse of purples and blues, reminding him vaguely of a nebula sometimes seen in space.

"What is this place?" He muttered, even as he sensed he was alone.

"It has no name," a man said from behind him and Kylo spun around, hands reaching for a lightsaber that was no longer there.

"Valkorion - I should have known."

"This is where I lived for millennia, before you winked into existence. Don't you know better than to insult someone's home?" The man taunted, and Kylo took in the ornate armor he wore this time - with a carved dragon on his chest. White and gold colors seemed at odds with the darkness he exuded.

"Then this is where you'll die," Kylo ground out, even though he knew the power Valkorion held here was greater than his own - whatever this place was, the Sith had far more familiarity with it.

"Your fake confidence is pathetic. I can't believe how easy this was, after all this time," the white-haired man circled Kylo as he spoke. "And all it took to break through was a simple girl."

Kylo froze in panic at the implication. He had been so sure when the Acolytes had taken him that they were lying - that it wasn't them who had manipulated him into finding Rey, or going to the Observatory. Valkorion smiled as he saw the words strike home.

"Your broken relationship with your family was troublesome, you see. In order to break you, to take control, you have to sacrifice the one you love." The Sith Emperor sighed dramatically, "And so we waited and watched. Finally I had to take matters into my own hands. And she was so willing, wasn't she? So needy, vulnerable."

Kylo shouted at him, a blast of purple energy shooting from his hands, knocking Valkorion back towards the throne.

He coughed, laughing, "So emotional."

Kylo's fists curled in at his sides, breathing heavily as he glared at the man who had haunted him all his life, "You won't win, not in the end. I know your game."

"Yes, you've been studying, haven't you?" Sarcasm dripped from his words as a bolt of lightning shot into Kylo's chest, sending him flying. "But you're no match for me, not anymore. With each death out there in the Temple, I grow stronger. Acolyte, Jensaarai - it doesn't matter in the end."

Kylo landed hard on his back, the darkness electrifying him still as Valkorion moved to stand above him. He had never felt so hopeless.

_Rey, I'm sorry._

He didn't know if she could hear him, but he hoped. Valkorion sneered as his boot stomped on Kylo's face, snapping it to the side with a loud crack, blood beginning to run from the cuts.

Rey heaved as she dragged Kylo's unconscious body out of the crater. It seemed as if hours had passed since they had parted ways with the forces in the jungle, but she knew it hadn't been nearly that long. There were still sounds of fighting outside and she began to wonder if Luke had been able to clear the entrance at all.

Regardless, she was here until Kylo returned. There was no way Rey could drag him through the passageway - Force-aided or not.

She cradled his head in her lap, tears sliding down her face. Not knowing what was happening made her insides twist. She had tried to make contact - to clumsily slide into his consciousness, but was thrown back by an unknown presence each time.

Rey didn't need anyone to tell her who it was. Valkorion.

The way Kylo had spoken of him still made her shiver; and so she just held him, hoping her silent presence gave him strength. The past week had been hard, Kylo withdrawn and angrier than ever - each group of Acolytes died more gruesomely than the previous.

He had stopped the light touches, stopped holding her through the nightmares. It was as if he were slowly - purposefully - pulling away.

Rey realized he had been keeping something from her and as she looked at his slack face, wondered if this was it.

Instead of anger, all she felt was sadness, the ache of their entwined destinies pulling at them both. Her fingers ran through his hair, the soothing gesture a favorite of his.

Long minutes passed until his eyes opened and Rey gasped, "Kylo!"

But his eyes were cloudy and as her mouth opened, she was pushed back violently with the Force as he stood up, calling his lightsaber to him.

Rey coughed, dread filling her, "You're not Kylo."

"So he was right," the stranger mused. The voice was Kylo's, and her heart ached. But she knew it - his eyes were different, clouded by the malevolent presence. "You’re able to sense the difference between us. Shame."

"You're pure evil, Valkorion. How could I not have known," she spat as she backed up a step, keeping a safe distance between them as she watched him.

"That is where you're wrong - I am the same as Ben Solo, only unburdened by morality," his voice was low and fanatical and Rey shivered. She never wanted to hear Kylo sound like that.

He closed the distance in a few long strides and Rey ignited her saberstaff just in time for a powerful blow. She was grateful now for all the training sessions Kylo had always insisted on. Even though it was Valkorion who was in control, he fought like Kylo.

And she knew how to beat him.

In her deepest thoughts, Rey had always feared it would come down to this. That the Eremite had been right. It had been a reality she never shared with Kylo - that to heal the wound, he would have to die. That had been the burden she carried since she spoke with the Eremite after her dream-walk.

As the Chosen One fell to the dark side, destroying the balance of the universe, it left the Force raw - exposed, broken. When Ben was born, a pure paragon of Light and Dark, he saw his chance at life and seized it, biding his time.

The Acolytes knew, and prepared in secret. And now it was on Rey to finish it.

_Kylo, I'm sorry._ She sent out, praying something in him was still left to hear it.

Resolved, she struck back, feinting low before hitting him high. Valkorion dodged, but only barely, his face grinning at her.

"Ah, the long lost Jensaarai heir," he said as they parried each other's blows and circled, breathing hard. "How fitting you would be the one he loved."

Rey blanched at the statement, leaving her side open for a quick strike of his lightsaber, slicing the edge of her stomach.

"He was weak. He couldn't do what needed to be done," Valkorion continued his taunting as she struggled with both his words and the pain in her side, barely holding her lightsaber in front of her. "He loved you too much. Do you know why we needed you?"

"Enough of this, just fight me," she ground out, tired of his taunting. In truth, Rey couldn't bear to hear someone else tell her Kylo's deep truths. Not when she had to kill what was left of him to save the galaxy.

"He needed someone to lose if I was to take control," the Sith Emperor ignored her pleas. "But now he's gone. And I can do what is necessary."

Rey screamed, a feral cry from deep in her body infused with power, making him stagger, leaving his body wide open. Lunging, she sliced a deep cut in his thigh, the only place she could reach in time. The smell of burned flesh made her want to retch, but he had dropped his weapon in shock and she called it to her.

Valkorion was on his knees now, watching her with a confidence she didn't understand as Rey moved to stand before him.

"Can you do it, little Jensaarai?" He whispered, voice laced with pain. "Can you kill the man you love?"

Rey struggled with the reality that despite everything, she had still been controlled by fate - the Force. The Eremite had warned her how it would end since the beginning. _The sooner you do, the more pain you spare yourself._

That was her choice - now she had none. Just as Kylo had never had one.

Valkorion just knelt there, watching the internal battle with glee.

It was _him,_ though. It was Kylo who looked at her, he still existed somewhere - _had_ to. She remembered the roughness of his hands as he held her face, the soothing presence he always brought her. How even before Rey had met him, they had been connected. Kylo had always been with her in a way no one had.

She lowered the hilt of her lightsaber, making her choice.

There was no way she could kill Kylo Ren.

Valkorion sighed and waved his hand finally, freezing her body, "You are both so exceptionally disappointing."

He ripped Kylo's lightsaber out of her hands and stalked around her, prolonging the inevitable.

"He's already _dead,_ foolish girl," Valkorion spat. "What does it matter if his husk is gone, too?"

Rey refused to believe that, watching as he came to stand in front of her, glaring at him in defiance. Valkorion brought the lightsaber up between them, pointed directly at her heart as he met her eyes.

Even through the cloudiness of possession, they were still _his_ eyes, and tears pricked at the corners as she begged finally, terror and heartbreak potent.

"Kylo, please."

Valkorion grit his teeth, hand gripping the saber tightly as he listened to her beg.

Rey refused to look at anything but Kylo's face before she died.

_In life, we are often made to choose between two things that would bring us great pain._

The Eremite's last words came rushing back as time seemed to slow as the cloudiness of Kylo's eyes begin to clear.

_Made to choose._

No, she thought, struggling against the bonds that held her body still.

_His destiny has always been clear._

Kylo finally stared back at her and she realized with horror what was happening.

"NO!" She cried as the lightsaber ignited.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just the epilogue left <3

Rey had always wanted a friend. Once the anchorites found her, they stopped taking in orphans. The only thing close to a friend was the voice in her head and the dreams that came at night.

Once she left Jakku, the only people she spent any time with were those best left alone.

She had never had a friend.

The day Kylo followed her in the marketplace he had sparked a chain reaction that led to not only friends, but family. A place in the galaxy, finally.

He was someone who thought he was better off alone, but did everything he could to give her what she needed anyway. He had saved her.

Kylo always said he never had a choice in life, not really - everything seemed to be calculated against him for this one moment.

The Eremite had warned her. Told her to make the choice sooner, to save her pain.

But as she looked into Kylo's wild eyes, watched them clear for that brief moment, she knew.

It had never been her choice to make.

It was his.

Kylo had finally faced the ultimate test, the catalyst he had always resented Luke for having. Forged early on into the Master Jedi, Kylo had never hoped to live up to him despite his power. But as he woke in the phantom world, he saw Valkorion's still body on the throne, and knew.

He couldn't sense anything beyond this world and hoped it wasn't too late. That Rey could survive against Valkorion's attacks long enough.

That she wouldn't have to kill him. Not like this.

Kylo staggered towards the throne, Valkorion too distracted by the exaltation of victory to notice. His arrogance was his weakness, as the Saarai-kaar had warned.

He had always known there would be only one out for him, but Luke had found a detailed account of the last time Vitiate had been expelled from his host's body - Valkorion's. The Outlander had stored it deep in the Jedi Archives, and reading it had filled Kylo with a sense of peace. There was a way out for him, to save the galaxy in the end from more tyranny.

He was prepared to die for it.

Before the Sith could react, Kylo gripped his head between his hands and forced his way into Valkorion's mind. He struggled with their shared sight and Kylo gasped as he saw Rey's tear-covered face beg him for something. Realizing he held his lightsaber towards her he struggled with Valkorion for control, his body thrashing in the phantom world under Kylo's iron grip.

Time slowed as Kylo pulled on Valkorion's power, the darkness settling next to him, waiting. He stared at Rey, fixing his tether on his love for her as he pulled on the hate inside of him and used it - to die.

And as the blade ignited, Rey saw the pain bloom in his face, chest run through with his own lightsaber. Fading fast as he fell to the ground.

He had chosen her. Accepted his fate once and for all.

Kylo's fingers trailed the tears on her face and he smiled before his eyes closed, peace threatening to envelope him.

His knees hit the ground as his body began to convulse, Rey moving towards him to steady him as a darkness began to pour out of his mouth.  _ Valkorion.  _ She knew it instinctively, and her thoughts raced to the odd look he had shared with Luke before they left.

Kylo had planned this the entire time, kept it from her.

"You stupid, selfish man," she cried as Valkorion's screams ripped out of Kylo's throat as the darkness finally left his body, leaving him sagging against her.

Her emotions overwhelmed her as she sobbed, tears hitting his face. Rey wondered how many times she would have to hold his body and hoped it was many more if only it meant he wasn't dead.

Vaguely she was aware of a rush of dozens of boots into the hall, Luke holding the forces back, skidding to a stop at the edge of the main hall as he took in Rey's hysterical crying and Kylo's limp body in her arms. The exhausted warriors kept a silent vigil, her cries the only noises.

Han enveloped Leia in his arms as she wept quietly, not quite believing it.

But Luke knew, and was proud even as sadness washed over him.

The Saarai-kaar and Luke eventually moved towards her, hoping to help her with Kylo, but they only took a few steps before Rey noticed them and mindlessly threw up a large dome shield around herself and Kylo. Preventing them from coming any closer, cutting them off from doing anything to stop her.

The Eremite had warned her, the Force had guided her hand after all when she had stolen the Sith holocron from the Observatory. Rey hadn't been able to learn what it was meant to teach her, but she was desperate.

She held him closer to her, eyes closing as she gave herself over to the power of the vergence and instinct in her desperation. The Light of creation poured through her, making her glow with its pure essence as she channeled it into Kylo.

The control and light had always come naturally to her, but now she had to pull on the destruction of the Force - chipping away at the light as she began to slowly braid his life with hers. It required both selfless sacrifice and selfish intent.

Rey couldn't let him die, refused to lose him after everything. They deserved peace - and a chance for a life with love.

The Sith had told her in time she would understand, and faced with the reality she knew it was true. She understood how the pieces fit together, how the Force ebbed and flowed and merged with their joined consciousness.

Rey felt Kylo's body pulse with warmth and blood as a loud snap vibrated through her, like a band clicking into place. With a heady rush, the swirl of his emotions surrounded her to a point where she couldn't tell which was hers and which was his.

He didn't wake up, but she felt his presence in the Force again - his breath evening out.

The protective shield around her fell, but no one dared move. They would never see anything like that again, never expected it - Rey had channeled more raw power than anyone had ever written about.

She had brought him back to life.

* * *

Kylo was still blacked out as they traveled home, Rey refused to leave his side. She could feel him pulsing, a constant presence in the Force unlike anything she had ever experienced.

Luke and the Saarai-kaar had explained in hushed tones that she had created a Force Bond - tying their lives together, with such power that he was resurrected. It had surely been aided by the vergence the temple was built on, but she felt the power still roiling beneath her veins.

A bond like this was extremely rare, Luke told her. "But I have some material on it, for Kylo to read once he's better."

He smirked at her and she smiled, knowing he would enjoy having something new to discover about the Force.

Leia had hugged her, refusing to let her go for a long time as they held each other, Han watching awkwardly until they pulled away. "Falcon's yours when you want it," was all he said.

And Rey understood, smiling at his gruff thank you.

"We will never be able to repay you, Rey - but anything you or your family ever need, we will do," Leia gripped her shoulders to emphasize the offer and she nodded as her hands still gripped Kylo's even as he slept.

* * *

As soon as they landed on Chandrila and Kylo was resting in his bed at Luke's temple, Rey rummaged through her bag as she sat at his side.

She had been waiting for a moment of privacy, waving towards the door, sealing it shut.

Now that they were bonded, she could open the holocron without him - they were one and the same, now. Her hands gripped it and felt it begin to whirr and vibrate before dropping open as it always did.

The Eremite appeared, solemn.

"You knew," she accused.

"I hoped."

"All those years alone - the anchorites? All that just to save him? Why be so coy, so secretive?" With each question she grew more frustrated at the reality - would it have saved them any pain - was this really how it had to go?

The Eremite considered her words, "Do you know the thing I learned in my long life working with both Voss and the Jedi? Love."

Rey struggled not to glare at him, knowing it was always more complicated with the Force. He smiled knowingly.

"The Acolytes' ritual, the Sith Emperor's resurrection would have always been stopped with Kylo's death, yes - but only this once. This opportunity. He would have returned, eventually." They had known, all those years ago, that Valkorion would return, and when the Force was wounded. "There had to be a chance to finish him permanently. This outcome was only one of a dozen possibilities I saw, the one I hoped for. We can't control fate, it was always in your hand - and Kylo's."

"So this was all a manipulation - us meeting? Our feelings?" Rey hated even thinking about the possibility, but she had to know.

The Eremite shook his head, "I call you the Freed because you were always separate from his fate, in the end. You were never wrapped up in it the way he was - we cannot manipulate your feelings. What you feel is real, and him. It would not have worked otherwise."

Rey's tears finally slid out of the corners of her eyes. He disappeared, message received and she closed her eyes, weeping with the onslaught of relief as she sat next to Kylo's bed.

She froze as a calloused finger brushed her cheek, catching one of her tears.

Rey opened her eyes, Kylo watching her with a sense of peace and overwhelming love as his eyes roamed her face.

"Hi," he whispered, watching as Rey's face broke into a smile.


End file.
